How to tell yourself the truth
We think we know ourselves. We know our goals, our fears, and the stories we tell. Yet, the single most powerful barrier to growth isn't an external obstacle. It's the lie we tell ourselves every day. This self-deception protects us in the moment but guarantees stagnation over the long term.
Telling yourself the truth is not a one-time event; it is a radical, continuous practice that acts as the foundation for all authentic success and emotional freedom. It demands courage, but the rewards of clarity, genuine self-trust, and alignment are worth the effort.
1. The Power of Cognitive Dissonance
This is the central reason we lie. Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort we feel when our actions, beliefs, or new information clash with our existing self-perception.
Our brains prefer routines, even dysfunctional ones. Telling the truth often implies a major change, like leaving a relationship, changing careers, or adopting a difficult new habit. The fear associated with the unknown future is often greater than the pain of the known, stagnant present. We tell ourselves, "It's not that bad," to stay safely within our comfort zone.
3. Misbeliefs and Learned Narratives
Many lies we tell ourselves aren't conscious; they are misbeliefs rooted in childhood or societal conditioning. These sound like "I am not worthy of success" or "I am better off alone." We maintain these narratives because they feel fundamental to who we are, even though they actively sabotage our progress.
Telling yourself the truth is not a one-time event; it is a radical, continuous practice that acts as the foundation for all authentic success and emotional freedom. It demands courage, but the rewards of clarity, genuine self-trust, and alignment are worth the effort.
The Psychology of Self-Deception
Why do we lie to ourselves when we know, on some level, what is real? The answer lies in our brain’s deep-seated need to maintain comfort and protect our self-image.1. The Power of Cognitive Dissonance
This is the central reason we lie. Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort we feel when our actions, beliefs, or new information clash with our existing self-perception.
- The Lie as a Defense Mechanism: To quickly relieve that stress, the brain often chooses the path of least resistance: it changes the belief instead of the behavior. If you tell yourself you want to write a book but spend three hours scrolling every night, it’s easier to tell yourself, "I'm just too busy to write," than to admit, "I am prioritizing scrolling over my dreams." The lie resolves the uncomfortable contradiction.
Our brains prefer routines, even dysfunctional ones. Telling the truth often implies a major change, like leaving a relationship, changing careers, or adopting a difficult new habit. The fear associated with the unknown future is often greater than the pain of the known, stagnant present. We tell ourselves, "It's not that bad," to stay safely within our comfort zone.
3. Misbeliefs and Learned Narratives
Many lies we tell ourselves aren't conscious; they are misbeliefs rooted in childhood or societal conditioning. These sound like "I am not worthy of success" or "I am better off alone." We maintain these narratives because they feel fundamental to who we are, even though they actively sabotage our progress.
33 comments
We've all been told to “think critically” about what we see online, and yeah, that’s essential. But honestly? It's not enough anymore.
In today’s attention economy, our focus is the main target. We have to get strategic about what we don’t spend our energy on. Media literacy isn't just about analysis; it's about knowing when and how to close the tab.
Think of it this way: Strategic ignoring is just as vital as critical thinking. Psychologists and scholars agree that learning to filter out the manipulative or low-quality junk is a crucial skill for maintaining your mental clarity and digital well-being. It’s about being an efficient, smarter user of your own brain.
I'm just so tired. If I told you I wasn't completely broken by the neighbors upstairs, I’d be lying. I’ve finally realized it’s practically impossible to live in the same building as people who simply don't care. When your neighbor is this careless, you're forced to participate in their suffering—and it’s soul-crushing.
I remember living in a different flat downtown, and the neighbor there would neglect their dogs completely. The poor animals would poop inside for days, and the stench was unbelievable. The only safe space was inside my apartment, door shut, with a rug jammed against the bottom to block that sickening smell from crawling in. That was the only way I could keep the stink out.
Happy Friday! The weekend is officially here, and before we dive in, I want to play a quick game.
It's easy to focus on the challenges of the week, so let's take a moment to celebrate the wins, big or small.
Tell us: What was the best thing about your week? Share your answer in the comments below! I'm so excited to hear your good news.
Participating in social activities has been tied to a variety of positive health effects. However, what if you do not feel at ease while you are in the company of other people?
You've probably heard it a million times: socializing is good for you. Experts are constantly telling us that an active social life is like a superfood for our brain and body, helping to lower the risk of everything from chronic diseases to dementia.
But what if you're an introvert? What if the idea of a big party makes you want to pull the covers over your head and hide? Trust me, I get it. The pressure to be "social" can feel overwhelming.
But here’s the good news: you don't have to be the life of the party to reap the benefits. It turns out, even small moments of connection can make a huge difference.
Volunteering in your community and having lunch with a buddy are both more than just fun things to do. They are great ways to connect with other people, keep your mind active, and help prevent dementia. But for how long? The January 2025 issue of Alzheimer's and Dementia had a study that tried to find out. The study monitored roughly 2,000 persons who did not have dementia for about seven years. The average age of the participants was 80. Every year, participants had their health and cognitive abilities checked and were were told how often they had done things like visiting friends, going to restaurants, and volunteering. About a third of the people who took part in the study got either dementia or mild cognitive impairment, which is the stage before dementia. The participants who were least socially active got that diagnosis roughly five years before the ones who were most socially active. The study is observational and cannot establish causation. But being social makes you feel good and helps you feel less lonely and alone, which are two things that can lead to numerous chronic diseases and even early death.
A caregiver is someone who takes care of most or all of the needs of a loved one or friend who can't take care of themselves anymore because they are sick, old, or disabled. Caregivers support their loved ones in many different places, like at home, in the hospital, on visits to nursing homes, and sometimes even from a distance.
Avoiding caregiver burnout: you don’t have to carry this alone
Caring for someone you love can be deeply meaningful, but it can also weigh heavily on you physically, emotionally, and financially. Even if you are the main caregiver, you don’t have to shoulder everything by yourself. Support comes in many forms, and the truth is this: the more you care for yourself, the better you will be able to care for your loved one.
I can't stop thinking about this. I've tried to look at it from every angle to understand why some people behave the way they do. The human brain is incredibly complex, I know, but I just can't seem to grasp why things happen like this. This attitude, in particular, is something that really bothers me. It's an issue that affects us all in some way: some of us have to tolerate it, some of us are the ones giving this attitude, and some of us are the ones who finally decide to stop.
Why are there people who, no matter what you do for them, never seem to appreciate it? The more you do, whether they've asked you to or you're just being helpful, they make you feel foolish. They respond with a kind of silent attitude that reeks of entitlement.
I've had my share of these experiences, and I've decided to stop tolerating it. This kind of behavior can be found in any relationship, with friends, family, or spouses. But from my experience and the stories I've heard, it most often comes from family members, close friends, and loved ones. This is what truly bothers me: why do some people feel more entitled the more you help them? Why, for Christ's sake?
They never appreciate what you do for them. But the moment you stop, maybe because you no longer have the time or resources to give, they become angry. They stop reaching out. Suddenly, you're the bad guy. For them, it's all about what they can get. They don't care about the effort or sacrifice you put in; it's just take, take, take. They never give back. It's infuriating and a truly poor way to behave.
I remember a story a woman shared online about helping her family. She was single at the time and would assist her sister by dropping her kids off at school. She was working herself, but she used all her spare time to be an involved aunt. She even helped with family finances and bought her mom a car. But she noticed that the more she helped, the more her family seemed to resent her. There was no appreciation, and the worst part was the subtle, backhanded "thank yous" that made her feel so stupid. This woman did so much that it actually caused her family, and especially her sister, whose kids she helped nanny, to hate her. I could feel how hurt this woman is in that video. She said something that struck my attention. She said some people wish they were you. They wish you didn't have what you have. Instead of appreciating it, they envy it in their hearts and can't hide it for long no matter how kind you are to them.
Today, July 30th, is International Friendship Day, and it's got me thinking. I wanted to share a story about a particular friendship that started during my first year in University. I arrived somewhat reserved but totally open to making new friends. I naturally gravitated towards individuals from my own ethnic background, which led to my initial friendship with someone who appeared calm and genuinely relatable. She even had a familiar-sounding name, which just drew me closer. We attended classes together with other new students, and I genuinely considered her a friend, believing that she felt the same about me.
She even introduced me to one of my closest and longest-standing friends today. She made that important introduction. But here's where the story takes a turn: that person she introduced me to eventually became my housemate. I was living alone initially, but the landlord increased the rent, and I was searching for a new place. She mentioned that this other friend of hers was also looking for a place, and that's how I ended up living with my now closest friend.
Because we were all friends, the person who introduced us would often come over, sleep at our place, and stay with us, all the usual girl-girl things. We'd eat together and cook together, and we were truly happy with her being around. We never felt any competition with her, and I don't think she felt any with us either. At that time, I really believed it was a healthy, happy relationship.
After we finished medical school, my now closest friend gently pointed something out to me; this was about 6 years later. She said, "Do you know our friendship with this person is a bit one-sided?" I was so surprised! Then, she started listing things I had never once considered problematic. For me, it was just "how life was" or "how she was."
For instance, my closest friend and I would handle the groceries, pay for the light bills, and cover the rent. This person didn't contribute financially, and we were completely fine with that because we understood her limited cash flow from home. But my friend pointed out that whenever this person did have money, she'd go celebrate with other people, sometimes even girls who didn't truly consider her a friend. At one point, one of the girls discovered she was having something with her boyfriend, and all of her friends turned against her; they literally ganged up against her and almost devoured her. She ran back to us and we advised her again that such a lifestyle is not the best way to live. She had single guys asking her out, but somehow she preferred those with girlfriends; I can never understand why.
My friend and I always stuck by her, but it seemed she wanted to fit into a different world. Maybe she felt that we were too reserved, not "cool" enough, too focused on our studies at that time, or not ready to let go of our upbringing. We minded our business and stayed out of University drama. We weren't the flashy," "bling-bling" type of girls, which we saw she wanted to be close to or be like. We were her friends who loved her for who she was, yet she always chose to celebrate her good times with others.
There were so many other examples that I never saw as wrong. She would take cash from us for things like University workbook, needing cash in general for little things and sometimes never paid it back. I didn't really see it as an issue. I just assumed she didn't have enough at that point or had other debts or things to do. My closest friend, however, wasn't okay with how she handled things toward us being her friends and only mentioned the situation to me after we finished university. This person would buy gifts for girls she wanted to befriend but did not get us things and I never really had an issue with it despite her taking from us and I was totally ok with it and never saw it as a problem.
One summer, she was involved with another girl's boyfriend while that girlfriend was away on a summer holiday in her home country. She even got him a fancy mug and showed it to me; she could not wait to gift him the mug, and she was hopeful it might turn into a relationship, from what I perceived. I might be wrong. I told her the mug was lovely, and I really loved that it was so artistic and cute. She has excellent eyes for things, but I also warned her that a summer fling like that, hurting someone else, would only lead to heartbreak for her and issues between her and the guy's girlfriend when she returned. She didn't listen, and when the girlfriend came back, the guy stopped talking to her, and she came crying to us. She made many questionable decisions, and we were always there for her, warning her when she was wrong.
There was even a time we had a private conversation among us girls about something, and she went and told the guy she was seeing (the one whose girlfriend and her friends ganged up and confronted her). I found out about this because she used my laptop to log into Facebook. She sometimes used my laptop, and we generally didn't care about whether Facebook was logged in on it while someone else was using it. We were free, just being friends but she shared our conversation with him. She left her Facebook open, and my closest friend happened to be using my laptop when she saw a message pop up and realized this person had shared our private conversation with him. Even then, I didn't confront her. I just forgot about it and moved on. I felt she was my friend; she made a mistake and that was okay.
But knowing what I know today, I can't say she gave a damn about us. And that's fine. When my friend told me how she felt about our friendship with this person, we just ended up laughing about it; we made jokes out of it, and that's where we left it.
You might be wondering why I'm sharing all this today. It's because it's International Friendship Day. This story is a powerful reminder to cherish the truly good friends in your life. My closest friend taught me so much about boundaries and genuine connection and friendship. I used to be quite naive, always giving, always forgiving (which is good), and never questioning if I was being taken advantage of. My friend always wondered why I never had an issue with the way that friendship dynamic was, why I didn't see us being used, especially when this person would spend money on makeup for herself or gifts for others but did not really contribute to our shared living expenses. She asked me, "Why didn't you see it? Why does she only come to us when things go wrong and then celebrate her wins with others?" I truly told her I felt it was okay because I know she didn't have much. My friend then replied to me and said, What about when she did have, and she'd go celebrate with others?" or why was she not proud of us being her friend? I answered my friend by saying, "Maybe we are not as cool as people she wanted to hang out with," and we both burst into laughter. We laughed at ourselves and gave that girl 2 and ourselves 0, like in a football match, hahahaha.
Let's dive into a topic that has significantly transformed my life recently. You know how life gets sometimes, right? Juggling all the things, trying to keep all the plates spinning, and sometimes… well, sometimes you just feel like you’re running on fumes, a bit wired, and definitely not as chill as you’d like to be. I’ve been there, trust me.
So, when Wild Nutrition reached out and sent over their Food-Grown® KSM-66 Ashwagandha Plus, I was genuinely intrigued. You guys know I'm all about natural ways to support my well-being, and I've heard whispers about Ashwagandha for ages and even written about it. You can read more about the health benefits of ashwagandha. But this isn't just any Ashwagandha. This is the Ashwagandha. And let me tell you, I’m so glad I gave it a go.
First things first, let's talk about Wild Nutrition as a brand. Their whole philosophy just resonates with me. Henrietta Norton, the founder, noticed this huge gap between what our bodies actually need from food and what most supplements offer – often synthetic stuff packed with fillers. Her mission? To empower women with nutrients and knowledge to thrive at every stage of life, all backed by the science of Food-Grown®. Basically, they're taking natural ingredients and fermenting them in a way that makes them easier for our bodies to recognise and absorb, just like real food. No nasties, no mega doses, just pure, effective goodness. That’s a massive tick in my book.
Now, about this specific product, the KSM-66 Ashwagandha Plus. This is actually one of their bestsellers, and honestly, I can totally see why.
From the get-go, I was impressed by the "relaxation + emotional balance" and "positive mood" claims. Who doesn't need a bit more of that in their life? But what really stood out was the fact that it contains KSM-66 Ashwagandha – apparently, the most scientifically-studied form out there. Plus, they’ve added their own scientifically-studied Magnesium, which we all know is brilliant for reducing tiredness and fatigue. Win-win, right?
I just started taking two capsules a day, sometimes in the morning to tackle a busy day head-on, and other times in the evening to help me unwind before bed. It's super flexible, with or without food, which makes it easy to fit into my routine.
So, what have I actually felt? Let me tell you, it's been a noticeable shift. That nagging feeling of being on edge? Definitely dialled down. I feel a greater sense of calm and just generally more balanced emotionally. It’s like a gentle whisper to my nervous system, saying, "Hey, it's okay, you can breathe." And honestly, that positive mood boost? It’s real. I’ve found myself feeling more resilient to the everyday demands, which is something I truly cherish.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)