Sunday, June 16, 2019
Mistakes Parents Make that drives youths away from the Church: Here is my experience growing up in Deeper Life Church
This is not an attack on the background of the Church but to improve and correct such acts. Not only Deeper Life parents do this but I am talking from my experience as a Deeper Life child.
We are not perfect but Heavenly race is personal and I pray that every parent that reads this understands it in the proper way. Amen.
Growing up in a strong Christian home, I knew nothing besides school and church. I wasn't allowed to do a lot of things, things as little as wearing dark sunglasses were considered to be things of the world. I wondered and thought about a lot in my heart. My parents focused more on building my spiritual life which isn't bad but less of my social life. I was a very reserved child growing up. I couldn't play with some children because they were considered worldly children. I really wanted to associate with other people but as they say, the more you draw us back, the more curious we become and we tend to want to discover more.
It is a great privilege to know about Jesus Christ and to be born into a Christian home but there are certain things which most Christian parents, especially Deeper Life parents failed to expose growing children and teenagers to, and it affected them so much. I have spoken to a lot of Deeper lifers especially youths and I have gotten almost the same answer as to why they left the church or why they departed from practicing the doctrines of the church. Deeper Life is a church that preaches sound doctrine and the pure word of God, but most parents have failed in certain ways because we live in a world where socializing and knowing the basics of life is needed.
There are certain behaviors and mistakes that Deeper Life parents have made in the past which needs to be corrected.
Not giving reasons: I grew up as a deeper life child and I am still one. Most teachings are focused on the heavenly race and making heaven which is the most important thing, but you will agree with me that we live in a world full of humans and not angels. Parents fail to teach their children and teenagers about facing life. This is totally different from giving instructions, attending youth seminars and an endless number of December and Easter retreats. What you hear more is,... "I don't want to ever see you standing with a boy", "don't disgrace me", oh, "never you bring a girl to my house", "do you want me to be disciplined"?, "You are from a Christian home for Christ's sake" etc. They do not effectively pass any message to us about life and our body. This leaves our heart void and wondering. As a Deeper Life child, I had so many questions, some of which are yet to be answered. I wondered why I couldn't do a lot of things and it made me anticipate growing up. Most Deeper Life brought ups when exposed misuse the opportunity due to lack of proper communication with their parents, not understanding the reason why an action or activity is said to be bad. Parents spend hours advising and giving instructions without passing any information. Be straight forward with teachings that concern life. If you indulge in sexual activities, you will get pregnant. Discuss with your children, teach them practically to be bold, hear their views and understand their mindset about life. Lots of Deeper Life parents only teach their children about the Bible but what about life? Discuss sex education, relationship and the right way to socialize instead of always telling them that other people are unbelievers and you are expected to stay away from them, that the Bible commands us to do so. Well, like most of them do, when they leave home away from their parents they seek for answers and go in search of it because parents fail to give reasons as to why certain things are said to be wrong but instead they just give instructions backing it up with the Bible and forget that we face humans and not words.
Forcing a child to attend church (Punishing and flogging a child to Christ): The Bible says, (Proverbs 22:6), Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. What is the meaning of train, the dictionary meaning of the word train is to teach (a person or animal) a particular skill or type of behavior through sustained practice and instruction? ( instruct, teach, coach, tutor, give lessons to, school, educate, upskill, edify, prime, demonstrate something to, make something clear to). People often use this verse as a guarantee that if you raise your children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” the child stays that way. Sometimes the reason why most teenagers depart from it is because of the hard way parents use in pushing them towards God. I can remember my Dad flogging my brothers for missing Church. When it comes to teaching a teenager about the Bible it is best that you communicate effectively and not forcefully, because most Deeper Life brought ups attended Church because of the fear of being flogged, punished or as a normal tradition in their homes so they didn't understand the bible truly and never experienced what it means to be born again. The bible said in (Ephesians 6:4) And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
What is the meaning of Nurture?
(care for and protect (someone or something) while they are growing). To bring up, care for, provide for, take care of, attend to, look after, rear, support and to raise.
What is the meaning of Admonition? (a firm warning or reprimand which is a formal expression of disapproval.).
You don't beat a child or teenager to Christ, you teach and lead them to Christ. By punishing them, they become rebellious to you as a parent, to the church leaders and they tend to go against Church rules because after all it all ends up in the normal punishment and all they do is wait until they are of age to make decisions and leave the Church. Deeper Life growing youths are always itching to leave the Church, some don't even want to identify with the church when they are of age. This leads them into not wanting to associate themselves with anything that has to do with Deeper Life Church due to such stress and upbringing. I remember going to church three times a week but I never understood why. I was under my parents and since I was being forced to attend church, I obeyed every instruction and got used to the routine without understanding the actual essence and importance of going to church. Deeper Life Bible Church has lost a lot of youths due to such style of discipline. Most youths still believe in the teachings but because of the lifestyle they faced while growing up they leave the church when they can.
Trusting other members easily: Even in the church, we have to be careful. After I finished my primary education, I wrote my common entrance examination and passed. My dad decided to take us to a school to write the school entrance examination. I remember my brother getting a very high score than I and he got an express entry while I was waiting to be considered. I didn't fail but the competition was high, so they needed to evaluate the result of people with an average score point and so they asked my parents to wait alongside other parents. While waiting in the car to hear from the school, I can not remember if it was my mum or my dad that first saw this man called Chris Nwankwo but I can clearly remember that one of them approached him to ask some questions and as usual they asked if he was a born again Christian and that was when they found out he was a member of Deeper Life. They were so happy and instantly introduced me to him, adding that he will be my guardian. My mum even spoke our native language to him telling him that ''I am his child in the lord". I was very young and happy because I have been trained to see all Deeper Life members as true believers of Jesus Christ. Well, I got the admission and my parents sewed long oversized uniforms and day wears for me. I wasn't looking smart at all but I was excited to attend boarding school. I couldn't sleep the preceding day and so I stayed awake packing and unpacking my box. I was so happy. After we checked in into the school, my parents called Mr. Chris and gave him some money to keep for me, instructing me to always go to him each time I needed something. I did as instructed but each time I got there, he would always welcome me with a tight hug that felt really uncomfortable but my mind had already been set to see him as a saint since he is a Deeper Life member. Besides, don't forget that my parents barely even knew him. The hug graduated to back rubs, then lower back rubs until one day he boldly rubbed my thighs and I ran out of his office, never to come back for anything. My Dad called saying your guardian has not been seeing you and I replied Dad, I don't want him to be my guardian anymore. Well, guess the reply from my Dad; "he is our brother in the lord and has been asking of you". The trust Deeper Life members give to fellow members is so unbelievable. Up until now they never found out why I stopped going to that man's office and decided to keep my money by myself.
It is only God who sees the heart, I know most times they mean well, but such careless act in Christendom has to stop. You commit a young girl child to a man all because he attends the same church as you. Remember even Deeper Lifers have blood flowing through their vein, they are humans and can also be tempted. After all, Jesus Christ was tempted.
It is only God who sees the heart, I know most times they mean well, but such careless act in Christendom has to stop. You commit a young girl child to a man all because he attends the same church as you. Remember even Deeper Lifers have blood flowing through their vein, they are humans and can also be tempted. After all, Jesus Christ was tempted.
"And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually." Genesis 6:5, KJV.
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9, KJV.
"And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man." Mark 7:20-23, KJV.
