It is time to stop over-apologizing and refocus on personal goals

Let me just drop this here. As many of you know, I love sharing the things I’ve learned while living this beautiful life God gave me. There are times in life when you need to stop apologizing and focus on your yourself and goals.

I once offended someone, and it wasn’t a minor offense. This was a situation that, if we sat down to discuss openly, would be understood differently by different people. Some people I spoke to said that wrong is wrong, but in this situation, I was not the only one at fault. Some people also said I take the majority of the blame due to the way I reacted, but that does not mean the situation did not have a root cause.

I kept apologizing over and over for more than a year, but at a certain point, I realized that this person had become accustomed to my apologies. It was no longer about the situation; the apologies reassured them that I was still in pain. I decided to test something, and now I want to share it with you.

Before I get into that, here are some things I’ve learned: never apologize more than twice. If you are genuinely sorry, don’t keep repeating it. Instead, apologize sincerely, and then take steps to correct the issue. Allow the other person to heal and decide whether they want to continue communicating with you. You cannot force people to forgive you, and that’s a part of life I appreciate. I offer a sincere apology, but if it's not accepted, I leave it between them and God. I refuse to be part of a grieving cycle or to stay stuck in that situation. If someone enjoys being sad, I won’t join them in their sadness. I choose happiness, and it’s okay if someone doesn’t want to forgive me, but I won’t put my life on hold waiting for them to move on from that situation. That can never be me again. If I have a goal, my focus will be on that goal.
How to maintain good work relationship

I listened to a story about a nurse who narrated her experience of nearly being implicated in someone's death. The person died naturally, but the doctor who came to check on the patient got angry when the door wasn't opened promptly, accusing the staff of delaying him for 10 minutes. Initially, he was rude to the nurse and demanded to file a complaint. The nurse went to find the form for him and informed her manager of the situation. When the manager asked to speak to the doctor, he rudely refused. The doctor's behavior escalated to the point where he called the police, claiming he suspected foul play in the death.

Contrary to the doctor's claims, the nurse wasn't in the room when the resident died; she had just arrived for her shift when the family called her to check on the deceased. When the police arrived, the doctor refused to return to the care home. They interviewed the nurse, but found no evidence of foul play. The deceased had been expected to pass away that week, and the family had been visiting regularly.

This incident nearly damaged the nurse's career until it was determined that the person died of natural causes. The doctor's anger over a 10-minute delay at the door caused unnecessary distress.

Before heading to work, remember that you'll encounter individuals from diverse backgrounds. Avoid hastily judging them based on their outward appearance or apparent kindness, as it may be superficial. Be mindful of your words and actions, focusing on your tasks. Honestly, in my opinion, genuine friendships are rare in workplace environments, especially in countries like the UK, where people often smile as part of social decorum rather than a genuine connection.
A drawn heart on a piece of paper, offering comfort and kindness through a heart symbol.

I've shared countless precious moments with my parents, but recently, something truly beautiful happened at work. Just like anyone else, I have my moments of nervousness and struggle. I was having a tough day, feeling down for no particular reason. I was just sitting there, waiting for it to pass.

Then, a colleague noticed. She looked at me, saw my distress, and simply said, "You're going to be fine. Just take things easy." She drew a love sign on a piece of paper which was on my desk. That small gesture turned my entire day around.

People often assume we can soldier on without a second thought, but they don't realize how much a word of encouragement or a simple act of kindness can mean. She confided that she was also having a tough time, yet she chose to spread positivity. That alone lifted my spirits and shifted my perspective.

Whenever I glance at that love sign, it fills me with joy. It's a reminder of the power of kindness and the importance of keeping a positive outlook.

Small acts of love and kindness can make a world of difference to someone in need. Sometimes, a single compliment can save a life. We never know who might be silently struggling, waiting for a ray of hope. Let's make it a habit to uplift others and spread love wherever we go.

I'll always cherish this act of kindness from my colleague and friend. She embodies the beauty of compassion and empathy. May she be blessed abundantly, and may her life be filled with joy and fulfillment.

So, don't forget to show kindness—it costs nothing but can mean everything.
My Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) Story and Journey

I am currently struggling with OCD. I am on a journey to heal and recover, but I want to share my mind with you so you can see through the eyes of a person suffering from OCD.

I define obsessive-compulsive disorder as being captive to your own thoughts. You are imprisoned by your own thoughts, and guess who the warden is? You!

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that is characterized by repetitive actions that seem impossible to stop. What this means is that you keep doing things over and over again to perfect them even when they are already perfect. There are different stages of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and people who are struggling with OCD are dealing with trauma that emanates from different levels and aspects of their lives.

I am suffering from this disorder, and it has been a struggle with a lot of things. I believe that as I begin to share and seek help, I will be on my way to recovery. I know this doesn't happen overnight, but if you know anyone with OCD, just know that these are their struggles.

The mind of an OCD sufferer

Growing up, I always desired my own room. I wanted my space to be neat, tidy, and just the way I envisioned it in my mind. What I can vividly remember when I started using hand sanitizers was when my mom's friend brought a mini pocket hand sanitizer to my house and told my mom about this pocket sanitizer, which was advertised at her workplace by a seller, and how important it is to always carry around a hand sanitizer. She also told my mom that she could eat without washing her hands if there wasn't any resource available at that point to wash her hands; that she could use the sanitizer in place of water in that case; and that it was safe. I was standing at the gate with my mom, and to me, that was a very good product. I was still growing, but I do not remember how old I was when this happened.

I had mild OCD growing up, and during my secondary education at a boarding school facility, I couldn't stand a lot of things. I got easily irritated and always arranged my cupboard over and over again.

Getting to Ukraine I lived alone for the most part, but my OCD gradually worsened with time. When the coronavirus outbreak was announced, it progressed even further. I was terrified and got all the products recommended to kill germs and bacteria. I didn't go out during the quarantine. I obeyed every COVID-19 rule, but the bad side of this was that my OCD became worse, and I think even along the line, a lot of people developed OCD.

As a person suffering from OCD, my brain keeps running 24/7. I get stressed out easily, and I just can't help myself but make sure everything is just the way I want it to be.

For me, OCD happens this way.

It's not just about what the people around me see. It's a struggle to resist the urge to wash, clean, and rearrange a place over and over again. My brain is never at rest when I am awake. I keep imagining the worst scenarios for how I could be infected with bacteria. People around me sometimes don't understand. It affects my mood, and I just want you all to know that people with severe OCD are struggling and need to be treated nicely. 

I cry when it seems like people around me do not understand me. I can't stand to see sharp objects around me for fear of them cutting me and thinking they will infect me. I am afraid of broken tiles and rough walls. It is crazy over here, I tell you.

If you know anyone suffering from this condition, please be nice to them, and encourage them, and one strong tip to help them is to stop scattering what they have arranged or put in place. Be neat and tidy around them, and avoid things that cause triggers, because this will help them stay a long time without having to arrange or do something with regards to repetitive actions. When the brain is less exposed to the activities that cause you to do things with prolonged absences, you tend to gradually forget these activities. I call it the "gradual step-down" method of OCD recovery.

There are things I do not do as a person suffering from OCD. In the past years, I have only had four visitors in my house, and these were three friends and the house owner. Their visit wasn't regular because I felt having people in my house increased my exposure to germs. I am not comfortable with giving handshakes; I give side hugs; I don't touch handles and rails. I don't use public toilets, etc. I get scared easily, and when I touch something that isn't clean, I get terrified and very uncomfortable. I am no longer able to concentrate until I wash my hands. I often have vaginal disbalance due to excessive washing, which results in changes in the pH and the natural microflora present in the vagina.

Oftentimes, I am afraid of using the restroom in my house, even as clean as it is. I have a lot of restrictions that I know I can be free from, but the more I try, the less it works because my imagination keeps screaming at me and it is hard for me to express myself sometimes. It makes me anxious and unhappy sometimes, and occasionally I keep pacing around as a result of this.

This also contributed to my clay (nzu) addiction because I wanted to have a feeling of dryness around me, which translated as neatness and a germ-free environment, so I always burned paper to produce a dry fire smell, and this triggered my urge to eat clay. I also developed an eating disorder, which is now back to normal: generalized anxiety, which gets triggered when I come in contact with something irritating; and sometimes I hoard things. I like to stay in an empty room.

Life can sometimes be selfish and all about me, which I know is wrong, but how can I help myself?

Please take note that this can affect men, women, and children. You should be careful not to unintentionally propagate this disorder in children and help them as soon as you notice it.

Obsessive disorder can be linked to a family history of the disorder, caused by differences in the brain, life events like being bullied, abused, or ignored, and personality traits like being neat, methodical, and having high standards.

The major signs of OCD are:

Obsessions: A persistent, unwanted, and frequently upsetting idea, image, or urge invades your head. emotions: The obsession results in a strong sense of anxiety or distress.

Compulsive: Repetitive actions or thoughts that a person with OCD feels driven to do because of the anxiety and pain caused by the obsession.

Even though I need to take a practical step toward seeing a therapist, I did some research on how OCD can be treated, and here is what I have to share.

There are two main treatments recommended by the NHS, which are:

Psychological therapy. This is a type of therapy that helps you face your fears and unwanted thoughts without having to engage in compulsions to "fix" them. You need to see a GP or therapist.

Antidepressant medication can be prescribed to assist in adjusting the chemical balance in your brain.

These drugs have side effects.

You can also join OCD support groups in your area run by national charities like OCD Action, OCD-UK, and TOP UK.

Today I urge you to see through the eyes, racing brains, and fighting minds of people with obsessive-compulsive disorder and help someone by sharing this article and being nice. This condition can cause people to become suicidal. Be kind and don't judge them because they are constantly fighting a battle you sometimes don't see.

I shared this article on 10/14/2022 by 8:30 pm but decided to reshare it again because I want to share my progress with you all.  

Thank you for taking the time to read. Have a nice day.

Are you depressed? Here are a few ways to cheer yourself up and clear your mind:.

Everyone experiences times when they are depressed, tired, or anxious. These phases eventually pass, but occasionally you can become emotionally and mentally mired in a rut. Here are some ways to help you get out of that situation when it occurs.

Get going.
Exercise increases the release of endorphins, which are feel-good chemicals released by the brain.

The British Journal of Sports Medicine recently published an online review of over 1,000 trials. The review revealed that individuals who regularly engaged in physical activity, such as walking, resistance training, Pilates, and yoga, experienced lower levels of anxiety and improved symptoms related to mild depression when compared to sedentary individuals.

According to additional research, aerobic exercise can have a significant impact on mood. Dr. Darshan Mehta, medical director of the Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital's Benson-Henry Institute for Mind-Body Medicine, says that any kind of exercise is beneficial. "Your exercise could be as simple as tending your garden or working on house projects," according to him. "The point is to get moving, and move often."

Spend time in nature.
Researchers have found that spending time in a natural setting can reduce neural activity in the prefrontal cortex, a part of the brain linked to negative emotions. Additionally, studies have shown that spending time in nature can reduce the stress hormone cortisol and blood pressure. As long as you find the environment relaxing, it doesn't matter what kind it is. Dr. Mehta says, "So, you sit in an urban green space or walk a nature trail." If you are unable to go outside, you can still experience a similar feeling by gazing at images of beautiful natural environments and playing natural sounds on your computer or smartphone.

It's 105°F in your yoga class, and that's intentional. This is the environment for "hot," or Bikram, yoga, which consists of a series of breathing exercises and poses performed in a warm, humid room. Additionally, according to a randomized controlled trial that was published online by the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry on October 23, 2023, it may help lessen moderate-to-severe depression. Researchers from Harvard Medical School divided 65 depressed adults (some on antidepressants, ages 18 to 60) into two groups at random. For eight weeks, participants in the first group were required to attend at least two 90-minute hot yoga classes at nearby hot yoga studios. The other group members were put on an eight-week waiting list. Even though they only took one yoga class a week on average, those in the yoga group had significantly fewer symptoms of depression by the end of the study compared to those on the waiting list. For instance, compared to 6% of those on the waiting list, approximately 60% of yoga practitioners reported that their symptoms had subsided by 50% or more. The effectiveness of hot yoga in treating depression in comparison to other forms of yoga was not examined in this study. Yet, it implies that hot yoga can be used to treat depression either by itself or in combination with prescription drugs. Before attempting hot yoga, consult your doctor because there may be risks involved if you have certain medical conditions, such as heart issues.

While coping with a mental health issue can be challenging, writing may be beneficial. Writing in a journal can assist you in coping with stress, anxiety, sadness, and bipolar disorder. Additionally, your diary may be used to assist you in improving your habits and behaviors. To begin journaling, choose a comfortable time to write each day and push yourself to write for 20 minutes on anything that comes to mind. Utilize your diary to process your emotions or to focus on personal development objectives.

1. Select between maintaining a physical journal and maintaining a digital journal. Typically, writing by hand allows you to better organize and analyze your thoughts. It is preferable, however, to choose the format that is most suitable for you at the time. You can keep a paper journal if you love writing by hand, or you can use a word processor if you prefer to type your thoughts. 

The use of a paper notebook will allow you to be more creative with your writings, which is especially beneficial if you plan on adding art into your daily entries.
If you are using Google Docs, you may be able to make additions to your digital diary from any device. Google Docs is available for free download from the app store. Then, you may create and edit documents on any device that is compatible with Google Documents.

2. Write in your diary on a daily basis to get the most advantages. If you want to utilize your diary to enhance your mental health, it's critical to establish a regular practice. Choose a time when it is most convenient for you to write, and then push yourself to write every day within that time period. Create a schedule for journaling time in your day, just like you would any other essential appointment. 

Write in your journal, for example, every morning when you wake up, during your lunch hour, or right before bedtime, for example. If you have to travel by bus or train, take advantage of the opportunity to write in your diary.

3. Set a timer for 20 minutes and make an effort to write until the alarm goes off, if possible. To avoid feeling overwhelmed when you first begin journaling, set aside a little amount of time each day to devote to the practice. Start with 20 minutes, but feel free to alter the length of time to better suit your own requirements. While the timer is running, jot down or enter any words that come to mind during the process.

Don't be concerned with writing about your thoughts or worries right now, even though that is the ultimate aim. You can write something like "I don't know what to say," "This seems foolish," or "I can't think of anything right now" if you want to be honest. If you stick with it, you'll begin to uncover your innermost feelings and thoughts.

4. Don't be concerned about spelling or punctuation. It doesn't matter if you use appropriate sentences or if you spell words correctly in your diary since it is for you. Allowing your thoughts to flow freely without any self-editing is recommended.

If your grammar errors are causing you significant distress, it is OK to go back and rectify them at a later time. But it isn't necessary in this case.

5. If you don't enjoy writing in sentences, you may be more creative with your formatting. Even if you despise writing or are unable to come up with anything to say, you may still get the advantages of journaling. Don't be concerned about writing out sentences or paragraphs. Experiment with different ways of structuring entries until you discover one that works well for you. Here are some examples of how you might express yourself:

Make a list of everything.

Write a poem or a song about it.

Incorporate visuals to convey your emotions to communicate what's on your mind.

You can write a letter to someone

You should create a table in which you are the main character.

Make use of sentences that stems from your therapist or from the internet. "I'm most upset when...", "I'm at my best when...", or "I'm most concerned about..." are examples of such statements.

Create a bullet journal to keep track of your thoughts.
This is a new report from the World Health Organization. 

It points directly while also discussing how to break the cycle of intergenerational adversity using a public health approach from Cambridge Public Health’s recent showcase.

Connecting Generations: Planning and Implementing Interventions for Intergenerational Contact builds on the evidence of 2021’s Global Report on Ageism in its conviction to show ageism the door.

Ageism has long involved thinking, feeling, and acting based on stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination toward people based on their age. The report points out that ageism is widespread, subtle, often unnoticed, unchecked, and sometimes loud. It also uncovered the significant effect it has on people's health throughout their lives.

These effects also extend to the younger generation as well, because ageism is more common in healthcare, housing associations, and employment and has been frequently linked to mental health decline.

since ageism is more common in the fields of employment, health, and housing and is frequently linked to worse physical and mental health, increased social isolation, and loneliness in older adults. The effect of ageism is even worse when it coexists with racism, sexism, or ableism.

The report is a good resource for public health researchers because it outlines a systematic approach for planning, preparing, and evaluating intergenerational projects. It provides a step-by-step guide but also shows the potential for additional benefits through fostering meaningful relationships across different age groups.

This aligns well with the efforts of CPH's Life-Course and Aging team and their ongoing social return on investment project within age-friendly communities.

The interventions that are suggested create intergenerational programs that lead to long-lasting, community-driven intergenerational contact, and they are affordable and simple to put into practice. Its branch, which offers instructions on organizing and facilitating 40 intergenerational activities that have been proven effective by seasoned practitioners, is especially helpful.

The report did not hide from reporting the limitations of current research either. Most of it has only been done on a small scale by a small group of people rather than a broader population. This has limited the conclusion from a broader perspective.

The report has also recommended, in different social and physical environments and with participants in other demographic groups and socioeconomic characteristics, including the influence of different intergenerational interactions.

The study showed an intelligent response to age stereotypes, alongside policy, law, educational intervention, and effective strategy.
If you are staying with one of two of your family members, then there are chances that they must have offended you, or you must have offended them. When you are stressed or angry, it is very unlikely that you will say words that are unkind and lash out at someone you care about. We all make thoughtless mistakes.

The art of a heartfelt apology

Not sure if you should apologize?

It is important that you apologize to someone you have offended or injured, even if you don't think your actions or words were particularly offensive or if you think the other person was at fault. "You have to let go of concerns about right and wrong and try instead to understand the other person's experience in order to preserve or re-establish connections with other people," says Dr. Ronald Siegel, an assistant professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. This skill is fundamental to emotional intelligence, which is the foundation of all positive, fruitful relationships.

How do you genuinely apologize?

For an apology to be effective, it has to be genuine. Making an accepted and successful apology acknowledges responsibility by accepting that your actions caused the other person pain that was not good. You want to express to yourself that you truly feel sorry and care about the person who was hurt. Make amends immediately or later, but do not make promises you cannot keep.

According to the late psychiatrist Dr. Aaron Lazare, who is an apology expert and former chancellor and dean of the University of Massachusetts Medical School, a good apology has to contain these four elements:

Acknowledge the offense you have committed. Take responsibility for the offense, no matter whether it was physical or psychological harm, and assert that your behavior was not acceptable. Avoid making an apology in a way that downplays the pain or raises doubts about whether the victim was truly harmed, as well as using evasive or ambiguous language.
Explain what happened. Explain what happened without excusing it. In fact, sometimes the best strategy is to say that there is no excuse for what you have done.
Express remorse and be real about it. If you feel sorry or ashamed about your actions and errors, this is all part of expressing how remorseful you are.
Offer to make amends if you can. A good example is if you destroy someone's property, repair it, or replace it.

Example of a heartfelt apology

I am sorry for my outburst last night. Even if I've been working under a lot of stress, my actions are not justified or acceptable. I love you, and I promise not to vent my frustrations on you again.
Seeking fitspiration on social media

It is 2024, and if you are thinking of starting a new fitness challenge, eat healthier to improve your health. It is a great decision and step to take. Just so you know, there is nothing wrong with doing better or setting good goals.

There are few medical treatments that have shown the health benefits of exercising regularly. You need to decide what type of exercise is best for you, but how do you decide? You can get advice from your doctor or your personal trainer. It is also good to educate yourself about fitness by reading books or following trusted exercise classes.

Many people always scroll through social media, seeing lots of engaging fitspirational posts, which might not always be the best strategy. A new study suggests that you should rethink this strategy.

What is fitspiration?

Fitspiration is a social media post that is made with the intention of inspiring physical fitness and promoting good health. You can find fitspirational posts on different popular social media sites like TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and YouTube. They usually include beautiful images and videos of people giving advice on food and exercise, as well as inspirational sayings and quotes.

If you search for #fitspiration (or related hashtags like #fitspo) on Instagram alone, you will see close to 100 million posts at the moment. The majority of them show pictures of fit, attractive, and slender ladies working out while discussing fitness and maximizing health.

Why is fitspiration a problem?

The pro-fitness message that millions of individuals see might have positive benefits. But the message needs to be credible and from a valid source. Importantly, posts shouldn't provide false, damaging, or ineffective information. Which is the problem with fitpiration.

Social media fitness has effects, and according to research, when you are focused on realistic exercise goals rather than appearance, These posts have their sides and downsides for those watching, which include:

Being dissatisfied with their body

Poor mood and negative false feelings

Thinking they are not attractive

Accepting that being thin is ideal and the only beauty standard accepted.

More focused on their appearance than function and capability.

A study of #fitspiration: Do these social media updates genuinely motivate exercise?

The fitspiration hashtags that are used by Instagram influencers to rate the quality of their posts. A recent study carried out showed some disappointing results, but these weren't surprising.

100 Fitspiration influencers on Instagram were listed by the writers. The last 15 posts made by each of these accounts were checked, and these posts were untrustworthy.
  • They showed nudity or revealing clothing by wearing bikinis at the gym.
  • sexualized the person exercising, such as by focusing on a woman's breasts or buttocks.
  • Included are pictures of people with extreme body types, like those who are excessively muscular or terribly underweight.
  • They did not focus on health; their messages promoted thinness or other negative messages.
  • contained fitness information in three or fewer posts out of 15.

Navigating life's challenging moments can be incredibly tough, and in the United States, there's a concerning rise in "deaths from despair" – instances of suicide, drug overdose, or alcohol poisoning. When people face these extreme difficulties and are at risk, the usual approaches involve antidepressants and psychotherapy. However, a recent study from Harvard suggests that there's another avenue worth exploring: attending religious services.

Published online on May 6, 2020, by JAMA Psychiatry, the study delved into the self-reported religious service attendance of 110,000 white, middle-aged men and women over about 30 years. Surprisingly, the findings showed that those who attended religious services at least once a week had significantly lower risks of death from despair – a staggering 68% lower for women and 37% lower for men, compared to those who never attended.

Researchers propose that religious participation, irrespective of affiliation, might act as a powerful countermeasure to despair, offering a sustained sense of hope, meaning, peace, and a positive outlook. Beyond that, faith-based communities promote social engagement and connectedness, advocating against self-injury and substance use.

It's important to note that this study is observational and doesn't conclusively prove that regular religious service attendance directly prevents death from despair. Yet, other Harvard research suggests that relying on religion as a coping mechanism correlates with improved outcomes for individuals dealing with severe psychiatric illness.

Considering the challenges posed by the ongoing pandemic, attending your usual place of worship might be difficult. However, you could explore attending services via teleconference. If you opt for in-person services, remember to wear a mask and maintain a safe distance of six feet from others.


Feeling adrift due to job burnout, an empty nest, retirement, or the loss of a partner is a shared experience, especially as we age. Matthew Lee, a sociologist at Harvard University's Human Flourishing Program, emphasizes that confronting this loss of identity is crucial. The response to this existential question, whether proactive or passive, can significantly impact one's health.

The Power of Purpose:

A sense of purpose is linked to various health benefits, including enhanced cognitive skills, mood regulation, decreased risks of chronic diseases, and longevity. Studies suggest that individuals with a sense of purpose navigate stress more effectively, potentially mitigating the physiological effects of chronic stress. Moreover, purpose-driven individuals tend to adopt healthier behaviors and engage in proactive health screenings.

Embarking on the Journey to Purpose:

While finding purpose is a unique journey for each individual, cultivating it is within reach. The following 10 suggestions, derived from the Harvard Special Health Report Self-Care, can serve as a compass on this transformative quest:

1. Zero in on your strengths: Seek input from friends and family to identify your unique qualities, considering how these attributes can bring meaning to your life and the lives of others.

2. Reflect on overcoming obstacles: Use your life experiences to assist others facing similar challenges, turning personal struggles into a purposeful endeavor.

3. Create a purpose timeline: Trace the evolution of your purpose at different life stages, extracting lessons learned to inform your current situation.

4. Seek inspiration from role models: Identify individuals whose work you admire, exploring ways to incorporate similar elements into your own pursuits.

5. Become a mentor: Share your knowledge and skills with others, fostering reciprocal relationships that contribute to both personal and collective growth.

6. Consider the world's needs: Identify a cause meaningful to you, recognizing that your skills can address unmet needs in your community or the broader world.

7. Read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning": Gain inspiration from Frankl's observations in Nazi death camps, emphasizing the vitality derived from meaningful connections and acts of generosity.

8. Write your story: Chronicle significant stories from your life, detailing childhood memories and answering questions about yourself, creating a legacy for future generations.

9. Compose your obituary: Reflect on what you want to be remembered for, drawing inspiration for your present purpose.

10. Imagine winning the lottery: Envision a life without financial constraints, identifying ways to integrate elements of these desires into your current circumstances.

Initiating the Journey:

Approach this process without pressure, as exploration opens up possibilities. As Lee suggests, "Explore the possibilities; it gets you moving again, and momentum can take you further in ways that you may find rich, rewarding, and even surprising." This journey is not about reaching a destination but discovering the richness and rewards inherent in living a purpose-driven life.


One thing this year has taught me is that peace cannot be traded. I was with someone who never saw the good in me but constantly said bad words to me, especially after leaving Ukraine, and was so sad, losing a lot to the war. I was down, and my mental health was affected. I am not perfect, but this person saw themselves as perfect and always asked for change, never wanting to change or improve anything about themselves.

I consistently told this person they needed to change the way they looked at things. I adjusted, but they remained in the same place, desiring more changes and setting conditions. Despite having high self-esteem, I kept trying to figure out the problem. Eventually, I understood that in life, you have to accept that you are the problem and leave to escape a toxic space and save yourself.

When I accepted that I was the problem, I broke off and decided to stop communication with this person, the same person reached out and said we needed to find a way to fix things. I replied, "You said you needed peace, and I was a problem and never accepted that you could make a mistake. I want you to be at peace, especially with the fact that you made it clear to me that asking questions took away your peace. I won't stop asking questions, and I want your peace to be with you, so no thank you.

Every day we encounter different situations and behaviors; not every meeting needs closure. This includes friendships, relationships, and marriages. Sometimes the fact that you are not seen, valued, or heard is enough for you to leave and find closure when attempts to make things work prove unsuccessful. 

Sometimes you have to accept that you are the problem!

Dealing with mental health is something we all face, and it's essential to talk openly about it. Even though the pandemic brought more awareness, there are still myths and stereotypes around mental health that we need to challenge.

Did you know that over 58 million American adults, which is more than one in five, live with mental illnesses like anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder? Surprisingly, more women than men seek treatment for these challenges.

However, there's a lingering stigma around mental health, making it difficult for those dealing with these issues. Dr. Arthur Barsky from Brigham and Women's Hospital explains that this stigma can affect people's morale and recovery. Feeling labeled and isolated can worsen depression or anxiety, leading to problems like substance abuse or social withdrawal.

The good news is that science is helping break down these old beliefs. Advances like brain imaging show that certain mental disorders cause structural changes in the brain, reducing the stigma around mental health.

For those dealing with mental health challenges, here are some strategies to overcome stigma:

1. Embrace Treatment: Don't let labels stop you from seeking the help you need, whether it's therapy, medication, or both. There are effective treatments available.

2. Separate Yourself from Your Illness: Remember that your condition doesn't define you. Instead of saying "I'm bipolar," say "I have bipolar disorder."

3. Don't Take Comments Personally: People might say the wrong things, but it often says more about them than you. Consider their perspective rather than internalizing their words.

4. Share Your Story: If comfortable, share your experiences to correct misinformation and help others understand better. It might be challenging, but it can be incredibly beneficial.

Additionally, if you're considering therapy, here are some tips to get the most out of it:

1. Choose Your Therapist Wisely: Look for someone who specializes in your specific problem and with whom you feel comfortable.

2. Treat Therapy as Teamwork: It's a collaboration where you lead initially, but over time, your therapist provides guidance.

3. Be Vulnerable: Open up about your experiences and feelings, even if it's uncomfortable.

4. Take Prescribed Medications: If your therapist recommends medication, take it as prescribed. Ask about side effects and work with your clinician to make the best choice.

5. Define Success: Set goals with your therapist to create a framework for progress, understanding that therapy is a process, not a quick fix.

6. Be Patient: Effective therapy takes time, and it's okay if progress is gradual. Be patient with yourself throughout the journey.


We've all heard that loneliness and isolation can impact our health, but which one is worse? A recent Harvard study delved into this question, looking at nearly 14,000 people aged 50 or older over four years. The findings showed that both loneliness and isolation are linked to health problems, but each has its own impact.

Social isolation, which means living alone or not spending time with family and friends, was found to be a stronger predictor of physical decline and early death. On the other hand, loneliness was more connected to mental health issues like depression or feeling that life lacks meaning.

The study highlighted that both loneliness and isolation are significant and can feed into each other. The key takeaway is that staying connected to others is crucial in combating these feelings. If you ever feel lonely, whether or not it's because you're physically isolated, talking to your doctor might be a good idea. Remember, reaching out to others can make a big difference in how we feel.

Seasonal affective disorder can be treated and managed with the use of light therapy and medicines.

The winter season brings chilly days and cozy vibes, but for some, it also ushers in a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a form of depression that kicks in during late fall and winter, easing off with the arrival of spring. While the exact cause remains a mystery, researchers believe a lack of sunlight plays a pivotal role.

Dr. Richard Schwartz, an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital, emphasizes the significance of recognizing SAD as a serious condition. He notes, "People should not ignore the signs of SAD and should seek treatment if they appear, as left alone, SAD can escalate to serious health issues."

Sunlight and Your Mood

Sunlight exposure has a profound impact on our brains. It stimulates the hypothalamus, a brain region housing our internal sleep-wake clock. Insufficient light disrupts this clock, leading to an overproduction of the sleep hormone melatonin and a decrease in serotonin, the feel-good brain chemical. This chemical imbalance can result in feelings of low energy, lethargy, and depression.

SAD comes with other telltale signs, including diminished sexual desire, an inclination to overeat (especially comfort foods), and sleep disturbances. It also correlates with cognitive challenges like difficulties in concentration and memory. Dr. Schwartz adds, "As you become more lethargic from SAD, you are also less likely to exercise or socialize."

Several factors heighten the risk of SAD, such as a family history of SAD or depression and geographic location. People residing in northern states, where daylight diminishes significantly in fall and winter, are more prone to SAD than those in the south.

How to keep people from getting too angry at gatherings.

The holidays, envisioned as a time of joy, love, and festive lights, sometimes take an unexpected turn into disagreements when family and friends gather. However, with a little planning and awareness of potential triggers, you can avoid getting caught up in arguments.

Understanding Holiday Stress

The holiday season can be stressful due to financial worries, colder weather, and the juggling act of work and time off. Emotional vulnerability is heightened during this time, making it challenging to manage feelings and communicate effectively. Factors like painful memories or a lack of family support can add to the emotional strain.

Alcohol consumption during holiday gatherings can escalate tensions, as it lowers inhibitions and makes it harder to stay calm. In a survey, 57% of respondents noted family members becoming argumentative after consuming too much alcohol.

Two days ago, I attended the conference at the Center for Contemporary Art, marking the end of the Anti-Racism Interim Governance Group (AIGG) and the sharing of their recommendations for the vision, mission, and structure of the Anti-Racism Observatory for Scotland.

It was very insightful, and people had the opportunity to ask many questions. Racism hasn't been adequately addressed in many countries and has often been taken lightly. A great-grandmother from India, who has lived in Scotland for a long time and has three generations here, shared accounts of how racism hasn't shown significant improvement for a long time.

Another person spoke up and said if there were not significant changes and accountability for those who engage in racist behavior, then she didn't want to be part of this movement.

Individuals from diverse racial backgrounds were in attendance and poured out their heavy hearts.

The event was attended by the Minister for Equalities, Migration, and Refugees, Emma Roddick, and provided an opportunity to hear from them, ask questions, and engage in conversation with the Co-Chairs of the AIGG.

The event also marked the publication of the AIGG community research report, which contributed in various ways. The community research mapped to the AIGG’s work.

Here is the significant question people want answers to:

Observatory Accountability

We would like to know who will be held accountable for how the anti-racist strategy is implemented.

What are your thoughts?

#AntiRacismConference #EqualityInAction #AIGGEvent #InclusiveScotland #RacismAwareness #CommunityResearch #EqualityAdvocacy #AccountabilityMatters #AntiRacistStrategy #EmpowerChange

Sometimes, certain thoughts just won't leave us alone – they keep playing over and over, like a song stuck in your head. If it's just a random tune, it's annoying but not a big deal. But a sticky thought is different; it causes distress, you can't shake it off, and it messes with your day, explains a mental health expert.

These persistent thoughts can pop up due to stress or an underlying issue like anxiety, depression, OCD, or PTSD. For example, if you're dealing with generalized anxiety, you might have sticky thoughts about upcoming events or financial worries. Depression can bring on thoughts of failure or loneliness, while OCD might have you obsessing over germs. PTSD, linked to traumatic experiences, can replay distressing scenes in your mind.

Sticky thoughts aren't just a mental annoyance – they can mess with your concentration, fuel feelings of shame and fear, and even harm your self-esteem. Over time, they might lead to social isolation, making some folks reluctant to leave home.

Making friends and improving health by getting over loneliness

It's hard to be lonely. It's possible to feel lonely when you don't have any friends and are missing someone to talk to, or when you are with people you can talk to, or even your family and friends.

In either case, being alone for a long time can be very bad for your health. It makes you more likely to get coronary artery disease, a stroke, depression, high blood pressure, memory loss, failure to do daily tasks, and even early death.

Here are three ways to make new friends and feel less lonely, which will make you happier.

Getting started
You can't always get over being alone by going out to meet new people. If you feel lonely even though you have relationships, you might need to talk to a therapist and check yourself from within.

For people who feel lonely because they don't have enough friends, meeting new people is more of an outward journey for them. As people get older, they tend to become less flexible in the way they live their lives. These days, making friends is harder than it used to be in the past.

These are the tips that will help you.

1. Look for people with similar beliefs.

You can make friends more quickly with people who like the same things you do.
First, think about what you like. Do you read a lot, watch a lot of movies, study history, farm, eat a lot, have a dog, or play sports? Are you really interested in a good cause, your neighborhood, or your history? Do you collect things? Are you crazy about old cars? Do you like changing the way old furniture looks? You might want to learn something new, like how to cook a Nigerian dish or speak a new language. If you are interested in any of these hobbies or things you want to try, Look for clubs, charity workshops, classes, or online groups that can help you achieve them.

When you join a group, you have to keep going to it so that you can make friends. It would be great if you could be there in person.

2. Learn how to get along with others.

Sometimes the simple social skills that help us really connect with other people get rusty over time. You'll be happier if you're not just hoping that someone will notice how interesting you are.

How to get better:

Make more smiles. When you smile, you make other people feel welcome and at ease.

Make things interesting. Are you ready to talk or ask something? One idea is to talk about the news or why everyone is here (if it's a class, ask someone how long they've been interested in the subject). Or, find something to talk about. That person may be wearing a pretty pin. See if there's a story behind it.

Try your best to listen. As you listen, show that you are interested in what they have to say. You can look at them, nod your head, or say "Mmm" while they talk to help. Feel like everyone is waiting to hear what you have to say.

There are more things you should ask. Don't go away when someone tells you they have an interesting story. If they hint at something, show that you're interested and ask them to go into more detail. They're leaving clues that will lead to a more in-depth talk.

3. Make chances happen.
If you don't want to join someone else's group, make your own. Hold events at your home or somewhere else. It only takes three people. You can say something like, "Let's read books, talk about a TV show, or have dinner together every week."

Here are some other ideas for weekly or monthly get-togethers:
  • Nights with games
  • A night of trivia
  • Hiking in beautiful parks, walks on the beach, trips to museums, cooking, knitting, sewing, or crafting, shopping, day trips to nearby towns, making jewelry, collecting comic books, old dolls, and baseball cards, and showing off your collection
Not just close friends can come; anyone you want to get to know better is welcome. It could be a friend or a coworker.

If they want to, set up times and places to get together regularly. The idea might only be thought about unless something changes. Don't be shy.

Even if you don't become friends, chatting can still be useful. The people who interacted with strangers, coworkers, friends, and family the most were happier than the people who interacted with the fewest types of people. This was found in a study from 2022.

Finally, talking to a lot of different people is good for your health, whether it's the cashier at the grocery store, a neighbor, an old friend, or a new friend. All of these connections might make you feel less lonely.

No content on this site, regardless of date, should be used to replace direct medical advice from your doctor or another trained practitioner.
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