Lifestyle Blogger

Woman awake at night

Reclaiming a better nighttime sleep can significantly enhance your health, but it requires patience and effort to adjust your habits. If you often find yourself awake until the early hours and sleeping in, or if you feel more creative and productive in the afternoon or evening, you may be a night owl—quite different from a morning lark, who rises with the sun and sleeps early.

For a long time, experts believed there weren't significant health differences between night owls and morning larks as long as you get the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep. However, new insights suggest it might be beneficial to reconsider your sleep patterns.



Risks of Being a Night Owl

Recent studies indicate that being a night owl can increase the likelihood of developing various health issues. For instance, research found that individuals who identified as night owls had a significantly higher risk of developing diabetes compared to those who are morning larks. Night owls also tend to have a higher chance of being overweight and may engage in unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive drinking, smoking, poor eating habits, and insufficient sleep. Even when accounting for these lifestyle factors, the risk of diabetes remained elevated among night owls.

Moreover, another study indicated that going to bed later than 10 p.m. is linked to a higher risk of obesity, particularly among those who sleep fewer hours compared to morning larks.

Consequences of Inadequate Sleep

Night owls typically experience less sleep than morning larks, adding to their health risks. Sleep is crucial for the brain to eliminate toxins and consolidate memories. Insufficient, low-quality sleep can lead to poor focus, increased risk of accidents, weakened immunity, and various diseases, including diabetes, heart disease, and depression.

Embracing Nighttime Sleep

Humans are naturally wired to sleep best during the dark hours. Getting quality sleep in the dark maximizes the restorative benefits of sleep. If you're a night owl and stay up late, you're likely not taking full advantage of this natural sleep cycle.

Strategies for Success

To successfully shift your sleep schedule, adopt good sleep hygiene practices:

- Exercise regularly but avoid intense workouts close to bedtime.

- Steer clear of alcohol and spicy foods in the evening.

- Establish a relaxing bedtime routine: dim the lights, turn off screens, and engage in calming activities like reading.

- Create a comfortable sleep environment: sleep in a cool, dark room with cozy bedding.

It’s super easy to brush off the signs that you might need some help with anxiety or depression. Often, the signs aren’t glaringly obvious. We might notice small shifts in our mood or behavior but attribute them to getting older—like when your muscles feel a bit weaker or your mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be.

Sometimes we think, “Of course I’m worried; I have heart issues,” or “Of course I feel down; I’m not as important as I once was.” But here’s the thing: feeling sad (like, really sad) or anxious doesn’t have to be just part of aging. Acknowledging and addressing these feelings can really help you feel better and make the most of life.




Symptoms to Look Out For

Recognizing anxiety and depression often means taking a moment to reflect honestly on how you’re feeling and behaving. Here are some signs to consider:

Signs of Depression and Anxiety

Apathy. Have you noticed that the things you used to love don’t excite you anymore? Does life feel a bit empty? These can be telltale signs of depression.

Feeling Helpless or Hopeless. Do you often think that there’s not much you or anyone else can do to improve your situation? If you feel stuck in this mindset, it could point to depression.

Changes in Habits. Are your eating or sleeping patterns all over the place? Whether you’re eating too much, not enough, or reaching for that extra drink more often than usual, these changes can be signs of depression.

Persistent Fatigue. Sure, it’s normal to feel wiped out after a long day, but if you’re feeling tired all the time, it could be linked to anxiety or depression. Sometimes, it might even be due to a medical issue like an underactive thyroid.

Difficulty Focusing or Making Decisions. If you find it hard to make choices because you’re constantly worrying about making the wrong one, or if you struggle to pay attention, that could be a sign of anxiety or depression.

Mood Swings. If you’re feeling irritable or finding it hard to control your emotions, frequent mood swings could indicate something deeper going on.

Unending Worry. Are you stuck in a cycle of worrying about everything instead of enjoying the moment? This kind of constant worry might be tied to an anxiety disorder.

Wanting to Be Alone. Enjoying some time alone to read or meditate is one thing, but if you’re isolating yourself because interacting with others feels too draining, that could be a sign of depression.

What You Should Do

Experiencing one or more of these symptoms doesn’t automatically mean you have anxiety or depression. But if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or less joyful in life, it might be time to reach out for help.

Start by talking to family and friends. Share your feelings with those who you know will be understanding and supportive. If you feel hesitant about opening up to loved ones, consider scheduling an appointment with your doctor.
Simple strategies can reduce the headaches, upset stomach, and shortness of breath that may be triggered by emotional stress.

When anxiety hits, it often brings along some not-so-fun physical symptoms like headaches, an upset stomach, or feeling breathless. If you've been dealing with these issues, it’s worth considering that your emotions might be the real culprits, not just some random bug.

A big player in this is your autonomic nervous system. It’s the part of your body that takes care of things without you even thinking about it—like your heart rate, breathing, and digestion. It kicks into gear when you feel threatened, triggering your fight-or-flight response, which is your body’s way of helping you either defend yourself or get out of a tricky situation.

But when stress or anxiety hits, this system can go into overdrive, leading to all those annoying physical symptoms. Doctors often see patients who have real discomfort but no clear medical reason for it. In our fast-paced world, many of us might start experiencing these symptoms without realizing that anxiety is at play. This can create a nasty cycle: stress leads to physical symptoms, and then worrying about those symptoms makes everything worse. The more you fixate on what you’re feeling, the more intense those feelings can get. It can be overwhelming, leaving you stuck in a loop of anxiety and discomfort.



The “fight or flight” response, also known as the stress response, is how our body prepares to face or avoid danger. While this response can help us tackle challenges, it becomes problematic when triggered by everyday issues like money problems, traffic, work stress, or relationship troubles.



This constant stress can lead to health issues such as high blood pressure, which is a major risk factor for heart disease. It can also weaken the immune system, making us more prone to colds and other illnesses, and contribute to anxiety and depression. While we can’t avoid all stress, we can learn healthier ways to respond to it. One effective method is the relaxation response, a concept developed in the 1970s by Dr. Herbert Benson at Harvard Medical School. This state of deep rest can be achieved through techniques like meditation, yoga, and progressive muscle relaxation.


A key part of these techniques is breath focus, which involves learning to breathe deeply.


Benefits of Deep Breathing


Deep breathing, also known as diaphragmatic, abdominal, belly breathing, or paced respiration, involves taking air in through your nose until your lungs are full and your lower belly rises. Many people find deep breathing unnatural due to cultural pressures to maintain a flat stomach, which leads to shallow “chest breathing” and increased tension and anxiety.


Shallow breathing limits the diaphragm’s movement, reducing oxygen intake and causing shortness of breath and anxiety. Deep abdominal breathing promotes full oxygen exchange, which can slow the heartbeat and lower or stabilize blood pressure.


Practicing Breath Focus


Breath focus helps you concentrate on slow, deep breathing and distracts you from stressful thoughts. It’s especially useful if you tend to hold it in your stomach.


First Steps:


  1. Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down.

  2. Take a normal breath, then a deep breath: inhale slowly through your nose, letting your chest and lower belly rise as your lungs fill. Let your abdomen expand fully.

  3. Exhale slowly through your mouth (or nose if that feels more natural).


Regular Practice:


Once you’re comfortable with the basics, practice controlled breathing regularly. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed, combine deep breathing with calming imagery, and use a focus word or phrase to help you relax.

It is time to stop over-apologizing and refocus on personal goals

Let me just drop this here. As many of you know, I love sharing the things I’ve learned while living this beautiful life God gave me. There are times in life when you need to stop apologizing and focus on your yourself and goals.

I once offended someone, and it wasn’t a minor offense. This was a situation that, if we sat down to discuss openly, would be understood differently by different people. Some people I spoke to said that wrong is wrong, but in this situation, I was not the only one at fault. Some people also said I take the majority of the blame due to the way I reacted, but that does not mean the situation did not have a root cause.

I kept apologizing over and over for more than a year, but at a certain point, I realized that this person had become accustomed to my apologies. It was no longer about the situation; the apologies reassured them that I was still in pain. I decided to test something, and now I want to share it with you.

Before I get into that, here are some things I’ve learned: never apologize more than twice. If you are genuinely sorry, don’t keep repeating it. Instead, apologize sincerely, and then take steps to correct the issue. Allow the other person to heal and decide whether they want to continue communicating with you. You cannot force people to forgive you, and that’s a part of life I appreciate. I offer a sincere apology, but if it's not accepted, I leave it between them and God. I refuse to be part of a grieving cycle or to stay stuck in that situation. If someone enjoys being sad, I won’t join them in their sadness. I choose happiness, and it’s okay if someone doesn’t want to forgive me, but I won’t put my life on hold waiting for them to move on from that situation. That can never be me again. If I have a goal, my focus will be on that goal.
How to maintain good work relationship

I listened to a story about a nurse who narrated her experience of nearly being implicated in someone's death. The person died naturally, but the doctor who came to check on the patient got angry when the door wasn't opened promptly, accusing the staff of delaying him for 10 minutes. Initially, he was rude to the nurse and demanded to file a complaint. The nurse went to find the form for him and informed her manager of the situation. When the manager asked to speak to the doctor, he rudely refused. The doctor's behavior escalated to the point where he called the police, claiming he suspected foul play in the death.

Contrary to the doctor's claims, the nurse wasn't in the room when the resident died; she had just arrived for her shift when the family called her to check on the deceased. When the police arrived, the doctor refused to return to the care home. They interviewed the nurse, but found no evidence of foul play. The deceased had been expected to pass away that week, and the family had been visiting regularly.

This incident nearly damaged the nurse's career until it was determined that the person died of natural causes. The doctor's anger over a 10-minute delay at the door caused unnecessary distress.

Before heading to work, remember that you'll encounter individuals from diverse backgrounds. Avoid hastily judging them based on their outward appearance or apparent kindness, as it may be superficial. Be mindful of your words and actions, focusing on your tasks. Honestly, in my opinion, genuine friendships are rare in workplace environments, especially in countries like the UK, where people often smile as part of social decorum rather than a genuine connection.
A drawn heart on a piece of paper, offering comfort and kindness through a heart symbol.

I've shared countless precious moments with my parents, but recently, something truly beautiful happened at work. Just like anyone else, I have my moments of nervousness and struggle. I was having a tough day, feeling down for no particular reason. I was just sitting there, waiting for it to pass.

Then, a colleague noticed. She looked at me, saw my distress, and simply said, "You're going to be fine. Just take things easy." She drew a love sign on a piece of paper which was on my desk. That small gesture turned my entire day around.

People often assume we can soldier on without a second thought, but they don't realize how much a word of encouragement or a simple act of kindness can mean. She confided that she was also having a tough time, yet she chose to spread positivity. That alone lifted my spirits and shifted my perspective.

Whenever I glance at that love sign, it fills me with joy. It's a reminder of the power of kindness and the importance of keeping a positive outlook.

Small acts of love and kindness can make a world of difference to someone in need. Sometimes, a single compliment can save a life. We never know who might be silently struggling, waiting for a ray of hope. Let's make it a habit to uplift others and spread love wherever we go.

I'll always cherish this act of kindness from my colleague and friend. She embodies the beauty of compassion and empathy. May she be blessed abundantly, and may her life be filled with joy and fulfillment.

So, don't forget to show kindness—it costs nothing but can mean everything.
My Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) Story and Journey

I am currently struggling with OCD. I am on a journey to heal and recover, but I want to share my mind with you so you can see through the eyes of a person suffering from OCD.

I define obsessive-compulsive disorder as being captive to your own thoughts. You are imprisoned by your own thoughts, and guess who the warden is? You!

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that is characterized by repetitive actions that seem impossible to stop. What this means is that you keep doing things over and over again to perfect them even when they are already perfect. There are different stages of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and people who are struggling with OCD are dealing with trauma that emanates from different levels and aspects of their lives.

I am suffering from this disorder, and it has been a struggle with a lot of things. I believe that as I begin to share and seek help, I will be on my way to recovery. I know this doesn't happen overnight, but if you know anyone with OCD, just know that these are their struggles.

The mind of an OCD sufferer

Growing up, I always desired my own room. I wanted my space to be neat, tidy, and just the way I envisioned it in my mind. What I can vividly remember when I started using hand sanitizers was when my mom's friend brought a mini pocket hand sanitizer to my house and told my mom about this pocket sanitizer, which was advertised at her workplace by a seller, and how important it is to always carry around a hand sanitizer. She also told my mom that she could eat without washing her hands if there wasn't any resource available at that point to wash her hands; that she could use the sanitizer in place of water in that case; and that it was safe. I was standing at the gate with my mom, and to me, that was a very good product. I was still growing, but I do not remember how old I was when this happened.

I had mild OCD growing up, and during my secondary education at a boarding school facility, I couldn't stand a lot of things. I got easily irritated and always arranged my cupboard over and over again.

Getting to Ukraine I lived alone for the most part, but my OCD gradually worsened with time. When the coronavirus outbreak was announced, it progressed even further. I was terrified and got all the products recommended to kill germs and bacteria. I didn't go out during the quarantine. I obeyed every COVID-19 rule, but the bad side of this was that my OCD became worse, and I think even along the line, a lot of people developed OCD.

As a person suffering from OCD, my brain keeps running 24/7. I get stressed out easily, and I just can't help myself but make sure everything is just the way I want it to be.

For me, OCD happens this way.

It's not just about what the people around me see. It's a struggle to resist the urge to wash, clean, and rearrange a place over and over again. My brain is never at rest when I am awake. I keep imagining the worst scenarios for how I could be infected with bacteria. People around me sometimes don't understand. It affects my mood, and I just want you all to know that people with severe OCD are struggling and need to be treated nicely. 

I cry when it seems like people around me do not understand me. I can't stand to see sharp objects around me for fear of them cutting me and thinking they will infect me. I am afraid of broken tiles and rough walls. It is crazy over here, I tell you.

If you know anyone suffering from this condition, please be nice to them, and encourage them, and one strong tip to help them is to stop scattering what they have arranged or put in place. Be neat and tidy around them, and avoid things that cause triggers, because this will help them stay a long time without having to arrange or do something with regards to repetitive actions. When the brain is less exposed to the activities that cause you to do things with prolonged absences, you tend to gradually forget these activities. I call it the "gradual step-down" method of OCD recovery.

There are things I do not do as a person suffering from OCD. In the past years, I have only had four visitors in my house, and these were three friends and the house owner. Their visit wasn't regular because I felt having people in my house increased my exposure to germs. I am not comfortable with giving handshakes; I give side hugs; I don't touch handles and rails. I don't use public toilets, etc. I get scared easily, and when I touch something that isn't clean, I get terrified and very uncomfortable. I am no longer able to concentrate until I wash my hands. I often have vaginal disbalance due to excessive washing, which results in changes in the pH and the natural microflora present in the vagina.

Oftentimes, I am afraid of using the restroom in my house, even as clean as it is. I have a lot of restrictions that I know I can be free from, but the more I try, the less it works because my imagination keeps screaming at me and it is hard for me to express myself sometimes. It makes me anxious and unhappy sometimes, and occasionally I keep pacing around as a result of this.

This also contributed to my clay (nzu) addiction because I wanted to have a feeling of dryness around me, which translated as neatness and a germ-free environment, so I always burned paper to produce a dry fire smell, and this triggered my urge to eat clay. I also developed an eating disorder, which is now back to normal: generalized anxiety, which gets triggered when I come in contact with something irritating; and sometimes I hoard things. I like to stay in an empty room.

Life can sometimes be selfish and all about me, which I know is wrong, but how can I help myself?

Please take note that this can affect men, women, and children. You should be careful not to unintentionally propagate this disorder in children and help them as soon as you notice it.

Obsessive disorder can be linked to a family history of the disorder, caused by differences in the brain, life events like being bullied, abused, or ignored, and personality traits like being neat, methodical, and having high standards.

The major signs of OCD are:

Obsessions: A persistent, unwanted, and frequently upsetting idea, image, or urge invades your head. emotions: The obsession results in a strong sense of anxiety or distress.

Compulsive: Repetitive actions or thoughts that a person with OCD feels driven to do because of the anxiety and pain caused by the obsession.

Even though I need to take a practical step toward seeing a therapist, I did some research on how OCD can be treated, and here is what I have to share.

There are two main treatments recommended by the NHS, which are:

Psychological therapy. This is a type of therapy that helps you face your fears and unwanted thoughts without having to engage in compulsions to "fix" them. You need to see a GP or therapist.

Antidepressant medication can be prescribed to assist in adjusting the chemical balance in your brain.

These drugs have side effects.

You can also join OCD support groups in your area run by national charities like OCD Action, OCD-UK, and TOP UK.

Today I urge you to see through the eyes, racing brains, and fighting minds of people with obsessive-compulsive disorder and help someone by sharing this article and being nice. This condition can cause people to become suicidal. Be kind and don't judge them because they are constantly fighting a battle you sometimes don't see.

I shared this article on 10/14/2022 by 8:30 pm but decided to reshare it again because I want to share my progress with you all.  

Thank you for taking the time to read. Have a nice day.

Are you depressed? Here are a few ways to cheer yourself up and clear your mind:.

Everyone experiences times when they are depressed, tired, or anxious. These phases eventually pass, but occasionally you can become emotionally and mentally mired in a rut. Here are some ways to help you get out of that situation when it occurs.

Get going.
Exercise increases the release of endorphins, which are feel-good chemicals released by the brain.

The British Journal of Sports Medicine recently published an online review of over 1,000 trials. The review revealed that individuals who regularly engaged in physical activity, such as walking, resistance training, Pilates, and yoga, experienced lower levels of anxiety and improved symptoms related to mild depression when compared to sedentary individuals.

According to additional research, aerobic exercise can have a significant impact on mood. Dr. Darshan Mehta, medical director of the Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital's Benson-Henry Institute for Mind-Body Medicine, says that any kind of exercise is beneficial. "Your exercise could be as simple as tending your garden or working on house projects," according to him. "The point is to get moving, and move often."

Spend time in nature.
Researchers have found that spending time in a natural setting can reduce neural activity in the prefrontal cortex, a part of the brain linked to negative emotions. Additionally, studies have shown that spending time in nature can reduce the stress hormone cortisol and blood pressure. As long as you find the environment relaxing, it doesn't matter what kind it is. Dr. Mehta says, "So, you sit in an urban green space or walk a nature trail." If you are unable to go outside, you can still experience a similar feeling by gazing at images of beautiful natural environments and playing natural sounds on your computer or smartphone.

It's 105°F in your yoga class, and that's intentional. This is the environment for "hot," or Bikram, yoga, which consists of a series of breathing exercises and poses performed in a warm, humid room. Additionally, according to a randomized controlled trial that was published online by the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry on October 23, 2023, it may help lessen moderate-to-severe depression. Researchers from Harvard Medical School divided 65 depressed adults (some on antidepressants, ages 18 to 60) into two groups at random. For eight weeks, participants in the first group were required to attend at least two 90-minute hot yoga classes at nearby hot yoga studios. The other group members were put on an eight-week waiting list. Even though they only took one yoga class a week on average, those in the yoga group had significantly fewer symptoms of depression by the end of the study compared to those on the waiting list. For instance, compared to 6% of those on the waiting list, approximately 60% of yoga practitioners reported that their symptoms had subsided by 50% or more. The effectiveness of hot yoga in treating depression in comparison to other forms of yoga was not examined in this study. Yet, it implies that hot yoga can be used to treat depression either by itself or in combination with prescription drugs. Before attempting hot yoga, consult your doctor because there may be risks involved if you have certain medical conditions, such as heart issues.

While coping with a mental health issue can be challenging, writing may be beneficial. Writing in a journal can assist you in coping with stress, anxiety, sadness, and bipolar disorder. Additionally, your diary may be used to assist you in improving your habits and behaviors. To begin journaling, choose a comfortable time to write each day and push yourself to write for 20 minutes on anything that comes to mind. Utilize your diary to process your emotions or to focus on personal development objectives.

1. Select between maintaining a physical journal and maintaining a digital journal. Typically, writing by hand allows you to better organize and analyze your thoughts. It is preferable, however, to choose the format that is most suitable for you at the time. You can keep a paper journal if you love writing by hand, or you can use a word processor if you prefer to type your thoughts. 

The use of a paper notebook will allow you to be more creative with your writings, which is especially beneficial if you plan on adding art into your daily entries.
If you are using Google Docs, you may be able to make additions to your digital diary from any device. Google Docs is available for free download from the app store. Then, you may create and edit documents on any device that is compatible with Google Documents.

2. Write in your diary on a daily basis to get the most advantages. If you want to utilize your diary to enhance your mental health, it's critical to establish a regular practice. Choose a time when it is most convenient for you to write, and then push yourself to write every day within that time period. Create a schedule for journaling time in your day, just like you would any other essential appointment. 

Write in your journal, for example, every morning when you wake up, during your lunch hour, or right before bedtime, for example. If you have to travel by bus or train, take advantage of the opportunity to write in your diary.

3. Set a timer for 20 minutes and make an effort to write until the alarm goes off, if possible. To avoid feeling overwhelmed when you first begin journaling, set aside a little amount of time each day to devote to the practice. Start with 20 minutes, but feel free to alter the length of time to better suit your own requirements. While the timer is running, jot down or enter any words that come to mind during the process.

Don't be concerned with writing about your thoughts or worries right now, even though that is the ultimate aim. You can write something like "I don't know what to say," "This seems foolish," or "I can't think of anything right now" if you want to be honest. If you stick with it, you'll begin to uncover your innermost feelings and thoughts.

4. Don't be concerned about spelling or punctuation. It doesn't matter if you use appropriate sentences or if you spell words correctly in your diary since it is for you. Allowing your thoughts to flow freely without any self-editing is recommended.

If your grammar errors are causing you significant distress, it is OK to go back and rectify them at a later time. But it isn't necessary in this case.

5. If you don't enjoy writing in sentences, you may be more creative with your formatting. Even if you despise writing or are unable to come up with anything to say, you may still get the advantages of journaling. Don't be concerned about writing out sentences or paragraphs. Experiment with different ways of structuring entries until you discover one that works well for you. Here are some examples of how you might express yourself:

Make a list of everything.

Write a poem or a song about it.

Incorporate visuals to convey your emotions to communicate what's on your mind.

You can write a letter to someone

You should create a table in which you are the main character.

Make use of sentences that stems from your therapist or from the internet. "I'm most upset when...", "I'm at my best when...", or "I'm most concerned about..." are examples of such statements.

Create a bullet journal to keep track of your thoughts.
This is a new report from the World Health Organization. 

It points directly while also discussing how to break the cycle of intergenerational adversity using a public health approach from Cambridge Public Health’s recent showcase.

Connecting Generations: Planning and Implementing Interventions for Intergenerational Contact builds on the evidence of 2021’s Global Report on Ageism in its conviction to show ageism the door.



Ageism has long involved thinking, feeling, and acting based on stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination toward people based on their age. The report points out that ageism is widespread, subtle, often unnoticed, unchecked, and sometimes loud. It also uncovered the significant effect it has on people's health throughout their lives.

These effects also extend to the younger generation as well, because ageism is more common in healthcare, housing associations, and employment and has been frequently linked to mental health decline.

since ageism is more common in the fields of employment, health, and housing and is frequently linked to worse physical and mental health, increased social isolation, and loneliness in older adults. The effect of ageism is even worse when it coexists with racism, sexism, or ableism.

The report is a good resource for public health researchers because it outlines a systematic approach for planning, preparing, and evaluating intergenerational projects. It provides a step-by-step guide but also shows the potential for additional benefits through fostering meaningful relationships across different age groups.

This aligns well with the efforts of CPH's Life-Course and Aging team and their ongoing social return on investment project within age-friendly communities.

The interventions that are suggested create intergenerational programs that lead to long-lasting, community-driven intergenerational contact, and they are affordable and simple to put into practice. Its branch, which offers instructions on organizing and facilitating 40 intergenerational activities that have been proven effective by seasoned practitioners, is especially helpful.

The report did not hide from reporting the limitations of current research either. Most of it has only been done on a small scale by a small group of people rather than a broader population. This has limited the conclusion from a broader perspective.

The report has also recommended, in different social and physical environments and with participants in other demographic groups and socioeconomic characteristics, including the influence of different intergenerational interactions.

The study showed an intelligent response to age stereotypes, alongside policy, law, educational intervention, and effective strategy.
If you are staying with one of two of your family members, then there are chances that they must have offended you, or you must have offended them. When you are stressed or angry, it is very unlikely that you will say words that are unkind and lash out at someone you care about. We all make thoughtless mistakes.

The art of a heartfelt apology


Not sure if you should apologize?

It is important that you apologize to someone you have offended or injured, even if you don't think your actions or words were particularly offensive or if you think the other person was at fault. "You have to let go of concerns about right and wrong and try instead to understand the other person's experience in order to preserve or re-establish connections with other people," says Dr. Ronald Siegel, an assistant professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. This skill is fundamental to emotional intelligence, which is the foundation of all positive, fruitful relationships.

How do you genuinely apologize?

For an apology to be effective, it has to be genuine. Making an accepted and successful apology acknowledges responsibility by accepting that your actions caused the other person pain that was not good. You want to express to yourself that you truly feel sorry and care about the person who was hurt. Make amends immediately or later, but do not make promises you cannot keep.

According to the late psychiatrist Dr. Aaron Lazare, who is an apology expert and former chancellor and dean of the University of Massachusetts Medical School, a good apology has to contain these four elements:

Acknowledge the offense you have committed. Take responsibility for the offense, no matter whether it was physical or psychological harm, and assert that your behavior was not acceptable. Avoid making an apology in a way that downplays the pain or raises doubts about whether the victim was truly harmed, as well as using evasive or ambiguous language.
 
Explain what happened. Explain what happened without excusing it. In fact, sometimes the best strategy is to say that there is no excuse for what you have done.
 
Express remorse and be real about it. If you feel sorry or ashamed about your actions and errors, this is all part of expressing how remorseful you are.
 
Offer to make amends if you can. A good example is if you destroy someone's property, repair it, or replace it.



Example of a heartfelt apology

I am sorry for my outburst last night. Even if I've been working under a lot of stress, my actions are not justified or acceptable. I love you, and I promise not to vent my frustrations on you again.
Seeking fitspiration on social media


It is 2024, and if you are thinking of starting a new fitness challenge, eat healthier to improve your health. It is a great decision and step to take. Just so you know, there is nothing wrong with doing better or setting good goals.

There are few medical treatments that have shown the health benefits of exercising regularly. You need to decide what type of exercise is best for you, but how do you decide? You can get advice from your doctor or your personal trainer. It is also good to educate yourself about fitness by reading books or following trusted exercise classes.

Many people always scroll through social media, seeing lots of engaging fitspirational posts, which might not always be the best strategy. A new study suggests that you should rethink this strategy.

What is fitspiration?

Fitspiration is a social media post that is made with the intention of inspiring physical fitness and promoting good health. You can find fitspirational posts on different popular social media sites like TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and YouTube. They usually include beautiful images and videos of people giving advice on food and exercise, as well as inspirational sayings and quotes.

If you search for #fitspiration (or related hashtags like #fitspo) on Instagram alone, you will see close to 100 million posts at the moment. The majority of them show pictures of fit, attractive, and slender ladies working out while discussing fitness and maximizing health.

Why is fitspiration a problem?

The pro-fitness message that millions of individuals see might have positive benefits. But the message needs to be credible and from a valid source. Importantly, posts shouldn't provide false, damaging, or ineffective information. Which is the problem with fitpiration.

Social media fitness has effects, and according to research, when you are focused on realistic exercise goals rather than appearance, These posts have their sides and downsides for those watching, which include:

Being dissatisfied with their body

Poor mood and negative false feelings

Thinking they are not attractive

Accepting that being thin is ideal and the only beauty standard accepted.

More focused on their appearance than function and capability.



A study of #fitspiration: Do these social media updates genuinely motivate exercise?

The fitspiration hashtags that are used by Instagram influencers to rate the quality of their posts. A recent study carried out showed some disappointing results, but these weren't surprising.

100 Fitspiration influencers on Instagram were listed by the writers. The last 15 posts made by each of these accounts were checked, and these posts were untrustworthy.
 
  • They showed nudity or revealing clothing by wearing bikinis at the gym.
  • sexualized the person exercising, such as by focusing on a woman's breasts or buttocks.
  • Included are pictures of people with extreme body types, like those who are excessively muscular or terribly underweight.
  • They did not focus on health; their messages promoted thinness or other negative messages.
  • contained fitness information in three or fewer posts out of 15.

Navigating life's challenging moments can be incredibly tough, and in the United States, there's a concerning rise in "deaths from despair" – instances of suicide, drug overdose, or alcohol poisoning. When people face these extreme difficulties and are at risk, the usual approaches involve antidepressants and psychotherapy. However, a recent study from Harvard suggests that there's another avenue worth exploring: attending religious services.

Published online on May 6, 2020, by JAMA Psychiatry, the study delved into the self-reported religious service attendance of 110,000 white, middle-aged men and women over about 30 years. Surprisingly, the findings showed that those who attended religious services at least once a week had significantly lower risks of death from despair – a staggering 68% lower for women and 37% lower for men, compared to those who never attended.

Researchers propose that religious participation, irrespective of affiliation, might act as a powerful countermeasure to despair, offering a sustained sense of hope, meaning, peace, and a positive outlook. Beyond that, faith-based communities promote social engagement and connectedness, advocating against self-injury and substance use.

It's important to note that this study is observational and doesn't conclusively prove that regular religious service attendance directly prevents death from despair. Yet, other Harvard research suggests that relying on religion as a coping mechanism correlates with improved outcomes for individuals dealing with severe psychiatric illness.

Considering the challenges posed by the ongoing pandemic, attending your usual place of worship might be difficult. However, you could explore attending services via teleconference. If you opt for in-person services, remember to wear a mask and maintain a safe distance of six feet from others.

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Feeling adrift due to job burnout, an empty nest, retirement, or the loss of a partner is a shared experience, especially as we age. Matthew Lee, a sociologist at Harvard University's Human Flourishing Program, emphasizes that confronting this loss of identity is crucial. The response to this existential question, whether proactive or passive, can significantly impact one's health.

The Power of Purpose:

A sense of purpose is linked to various health benefits, including enhanced cognitive skills, mood regulation, decreased risks of chronic diseases, and longevity. Studies suggest that individuals with a sense of purpose navigate stress more effectively, potentially mitigating the physiological effects of chronic stress. Moreover, purpose-driven individuals tend to adopt healthier behaviors and engage in proactive health screenings.

Embarking on the Journey to Purpose:

While finding purpose is a unique journey for each individual, cultivating it is within reach. The following 10 suggestions, derived from the Harvard Special Health Report Self-Care, can serve as a compass on this transformative quest:

1. Zero in on your strengths: Seek input from friends and family to identify your unique qualities, considering how these attributes can bring meaning to your life and the lives of others.

2. Reflect on overcoming obstacles: Use your life experiences to assist others facing similar challenges, turning personal struggles into a purposeful endeavor.

3. Create a purpose timeline: Trace the evolution of your purpose at different life stages, extracting lessons learned to inform your current situation.

4. Seek inspiration from role models: Identify individuals whose work you admire, exploring ways to incorporate similar elements into your own pursuits.

5. Become a mentor: Share your knowledge and skills with others, fostering reciprocal relationships that contribute to both personal and collective growth.

6. Consider the world's needs: Identify a cause meaningful to you, recognizing that your skills can address unmet needs in your community or the broader world.

7. Read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning": Gain inspiration from Frankl's observations in Nazi death camps, emphasizing the vitality derived from meaningful connections and acts of generosity.

8. Write your story: Chronicle significant stories from your life, detailing childhood memories and answering questions about yourself, creating a legacy for future generations.

9. Compose your obituary: Reflect on what you want to be remembered for, drawing inspiration for your present purpose.

10. Imagine winning the lottery: Envision a life without financial constraints, identifying ways to integrate elements of these desires into your current circumstances.

Initiating the Journey:

Approach this process without pressure, as exploration opens up possibilities. As Lee suggests, "Explore the possibilities; it gets you moving again, and momentum can take you further in ways that you may find rich, rewarding, and even surprising." This journey is not about reaching a destination but discovering the richness and rewards inherent in living a purpose-driven life.

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One thing this year has taught me is that peace cannot be traded. I was with someone who never saw the good in me but constantly said bad words to me, especially after leaving Ukraine, and was so sad, losing a lot to the war. I was down, and my mental health was affected. I am not perfect, but this person saw themselves as perfect and always asked for change, never wanting to change or improve anything about themselves.

I consistently told this person they needed to change the way they looked at things. I adjusted, but they remained in the same place, desiring more changes and setting conditions. Despite having high self-esteem, I kept trying to figure out the problem. Eventually, I understood that in life, you have to accept that you are the problem and leave to escape a toxic space and save yourself.

When I accepted that I was the problem, I broke off and decided to stop communication with this person, the same person reached out and said we needed to find a way to fix things. I replied, "You said you needed peace, and I was a problem and never accepted that you could make a mistake. I want you to be at peace, especially with the fact that you made it clear to me that asking questions took away your peace. I won't stop asking questions, and I want your peace to be with you, so no thank you.

Every day we encounter different situations and behaviors; not every meeting needs closure. This includes friendships, relationships, and marriages. Sometimes the fact that you are not seen, valued, or heard is enough for you to leave and find closure when attempts to make things work prove unsuccessful. 

Sometimes you have to accept that you are the problem!



Dealing with mental health is something we all face, and it's essential to talk openly about it. Even though the pandemic brought more awareness, there are still myths and stereotypes around mental health that we need to challenge.

Did you know that over 58 million American adults, which is more than one in five, live with mental illnesses like anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder? Surprisingly, more women than men seek treatment for these challenges.

However, there's a lingering stigma around mental health, making it difficult for those dealing with these issues. Dr. Arthur Barsky from Brigham and Women's Hospital explains that this stigma can affect people's morale and recovery. Feeling labeled and isolated can worsen depression or anxiety, leading to problems like substance abuse or social withdrawal.

The good news is that science is helping break down these old beliefs. Advances like brain imaging show that certain mental disorders cause structural changes in the brain, reducing the stigma around mental health.

For those dealing with mental health challenges, here are some strategies to overcome stigma:

1. Embrace Treatment: Don't let labels stop you from seeking the help you need, whether it's therapy, medication, or both. There are effective treatments available.

2. Separate Yourself from Your Illness: Remember that your condition doesn't define you. Instead of saying "I'm bipolar," say "I have bipolar disorder."

3. Don't Take Comments Personally: People might say the wrong things, but it often says more about them than you. Consider their perspective rather than internalizing their words.

4. Share Your Story: If comfortable, share your experiences to correct misinformation and help others understand better. It might be challenging, but it can be incredibly beneficial.

Additionally, if you're considering therapy, here are some tips to get the most out of it:

1. Choose Your Therapist Wisely: Look for someone who specializes in your specific problem and with whom you feel comfortable.

2. Treat Therapy as Teamwork: It's a collaboration where you lead initially, but over time, your therapist provides guidance.

3. Be Vulnerable: Open up about your experiences and feelings, even if it's uncomfortable.

4. Take Prescribed Medications: If your therapist recommends medication, take it as prescribed. Ask about side effects and work with your clinician to make the best choice.

5. Define Success: Set goals with your therapist to create a framework for progress, understanding that therapy is a process, not a quick fix.

6. Be Patient: Effective therapy takes time, and it's okay if progress is gradual. Be patient with yourself throughout the journey.

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We've all heard that loneliness and isolation can impact our health, but which one is worse? A recent Harvard study delved into this question, looking at nearly 14,000 people aged 50 or older over four years. The findings showed that both loneliness and isolation are linked to health problems, but each has its own impact.

Social isolation, which means living alone or not spending time with family and friends, was found to be a stronger predictor of physical decline and early death. On the other hand, loneliness was more connected to mental health issues like depression or feeling that life lacks meaning.

The study highlighted that both loneliness and isolation are significant and can feed into each other. The key takeaway is that staying connected to others is crucial in combating these feelings. If you ever feel lonely, whether or not it's because you're physically isolated, talking to your doctor might be a good idea. Remember, reaching out to others can make a big difference in how we feel.
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Seasonal affective disorder can be treated and managed with the use of light therapy and medicines.

The winter season brings chilly days and cozy vibes, but for some, it also ushers in a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a form of depression that kicks in during late fall and winter, easing off with the arrival of spring. While the exact cause remains a mystery, researchers believe a lack of sunlight plays a pivotal role.

Dr. Richard Schwartz, an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital, emphasizes the significance of recognizing SAD as a serious condition. He notes, "People should not ignore the signs of SAD and should seek treatment if they appear, as left alone, SAD can escalate to serious health issues."

Sunlight and Your Mood

Sunlight exposure has a profound impact on our brains. It stimulates the hypothalamus, a brain region housing our internal sleep-wake clock. Insufficient light disrupts this clock, leading to an overproduction of the sleep hormone melatonin and a decrease in serotonin, the feel-good brain chemical. This chemical imbalance can result in feelings of low energy, lethargy, and depression.

SAD comes with other telltale signs, including diminished sexual desire, an inclination to overeat (especially comfort foods), and sleep disturbances. It also correlates with cognitive challenges like difficulties in concentration and memory. Dr. Schwartz adds, "As you become more lethargic from SAD, you are also less likely to exercise or socialize."

Several factors heighten the risk of SAD, such as a family history of SAD or depression and geographic location. People residing in northern states, where daylight diminishes significantly in fall and winter, are more prone to SAD than those in the south.

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