Monday, November 27

Sometimes you have to accept that you are the problem.

One thing this year has taught me is that peace cannot be traded. I was with someone who never saw the good in me but constantly said bad words to me, especially after leaving Ukraine, and was so sad, losing a lot to the war. I was down, and my mental health was affected. I am not perfect, but this person saw themselves as perfect and always asked for change, never wanting to change or improve anything about themselves.

I consistently told this person they needed to change the way they looked at things. I adjusted, but they remained in the same place, desiring more changes and setting conditions. Despite having high self-esteem, I kept trying to figure out the problem. Eventually, I understood that in life, you have to accept that you are the problem and leave to escape a toxic space and save yourself.

When I accepted that I was the problem, I broke off and decided to stop communication with this person, the same person reached out and said we needed to find a way to fix things. I replied, "You said you needed peace, and I was a problem and never accepted that you could make a mistake. I want you to be at peace, especially with the fact that you made it clear to me that asking questions took away your peace. I won't stop asking questions, and I want your peace to be with you, so no thank you.

Every day we encounter different situations and behaviors; not every meeting needs closure. This includes friendships, relationships, and marriages. Sometimes the fact that you are not seen, valued, or heard is enough for you to leave and find closure when attempts to make things work prove unsuccessful. 

Sometimes you have to accept that you are the problem!



  1. Very well said and worth thinking about.

  2. I'm hoping you find your peace in all this too, Melody! You deserve it!

    Le Stylo Rouge

  3. Es mejor estar sola y en paz que estar con alguien que te quita la tranquilidad. Te mando un beso.

  4. Making the world a better place also means taking care of yourself.
    Be well! :)

  5. I think that was the only good solution.

  6. Com certeza a paz não pode ser negociada, você disse uma verdade Melody bjs.

  7. Many times, we need to get away from negative people, who only make us feel bad and prevent us from moving forward. Due to the pressure of society, in which we are told that "friendship is forever" or that "we must stay with our family no matter how", even though they hurt us and have no intention of changing , we have to resist offenses, when all they do is take advantage of us, affecting our lives.
    It is better to free ourselves from people who only make us unhappy, since life is too short and we must try to be at peace, live happily and make the most of it. Hugs!

  8. If someone is not bringing out the best in us or we in them....what is the point in keeping in touch? Sometimes it is best to go separate ways.

  9. I admire your courage and wisdom to leave a toxic relationship and find peace within yourself. You are not the problem, you are the solution. You deserve to be seen, valued and heard, and to ask questions without fear. You have learned a valuable lesson from this experience, and I hope you will find someone who respects and loves you for who you are. You are not alone, and you are not perfect, but you are enough. 😊


  10. You are absolutely right!

  11. You deserve peace and deserve to be treated well by the people in your life. I'm so sorry this situation happened, but I am happy that you are strong enough to remove yourself from something that caused you pain <3
    the creation of beauty is art.

  12. That's true but very hard to see when you're in the situation...
    Wise words!

  13. Anonymous11/27/2023

    So true. Sending love your way.

  14. Well said. Glad you found the courage to get up and walk out.

  15. I have to say, wise advice!!



  16. You are so spot on but hard for some to see

  17. This is true and finding peace is more important than trying to change someone who doesn't want to change.

  18. I am sorry you went through so much leaving Ukraine and the war. The last thing you need is a toxic person in your life. I am glad you had the sense and courage to change this situation. Good for you!

    Allie of

  19. Trzeba odcinać się od ludzi którzy nas krzywdzą.

  20. You are not the problem, the problem is the toxic people who keep the best people away from a place to which they could add a lot of value.
    Hope I have clearly conveyed my idea, English is not my strong point jaja!

  21. That is true but it is very difficult for me to accept that I am the problem. The same situation happens to me often with my partner. He only can see what I do wrong and it is very sad. xoxo

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