Your calm can be another's trauma

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

On the 17th of April, I went walking with my partner. He had the flu, so I suggested we go walking to clear his nostrils and stretch out, which turned out to be a refreshing morning walk. But while on our way back, I noticed a gym, so I decided that we should enter and see what they had to offer. While we were at the entrance, someone approached us and asked if we were keen to know more. We said yes, so he asked us to take a seat, and he would call one of the owners to come and have a talk about their classes, basically what they do. While he came to speak to us, his dog followed him. I had already seen the dog sitting on a mat when we first stood at the entrance, and that was when I decided this was not the gym for me.

But here is the thing: the man who spoke to us at the door saw that I kept looking at the dog, so he asked if I was afraid of dogs, and I said yes. My partner also said she doesn't like dogs in her space. He then replied, saying they have a girl who comes to the gym who also doesn't like dogs, so they take the dog inside when she trains.

I felt exhausted from hearing that because one thing I have noticed with some people who keep pets, especially dogs, is that they always expect everyone to like their pet just the way they love their pet. But you know what? That perspective is wrong, self-centered, and even a bit out of touch. What makes you happy won't necessarily make me happy. It is common sense.

How can I comfortably rest my back on a mat that a dog has just sat on at a gym frequented by numerous individuals from diverse backgrounds, which is already a risky environment? We all know that gyms are one of the easiest places to get skin diseases. Generally, I recommend bringing your mat. He did not consider how to accommodate people with allergies to fur; instead, it was all about him and his dog disregarding others' health (me, me, my dog, my dog, other people can go to hell!). For God's sake, it's a gym.

I don't think I should live with animals in the house. In my opinion, they should have their space outside the main house. In my cultural background, it is customary to refrain from sharing utensils with animals, but even without any cultural beliefs, I would never eat from the same plate as an animal, nor kiss, lick, or feed an animal with the same spoon. I feel very uncomfortable when I see others engaging in such behavior ; at the same time, we need to respect their way of life. 

The other day my friend's child kept licking her hamster with her tongue. I am still recovering from the sight of it. This is one of the reasons I don't eat in people's houses or go for dinner when invited, especially those with pets. The boundaries are very thin.

Dog owners need to understand that just because they have a mindset about their dog doesn't mean I should feel safe around it. It's not my dog; it is your dog. Oh, come close; he is not going to hurt you. I don't care! respectfully.

I don't think dogs are friendly; they're wild, and even though it takes a certain environment for that wildness to come out, they also act out because it is their nature to do so. They are not supposed to be around children unsupervised. This is my opinion; yours can be different.

I know many dog owners who don't take their dog to the veterinarian, and yet when people say it is not safe to be around them, they claim they do. Don't get me wrong, some people do take their dogs to the vet.

When I am walking in the park and a dog comes close to me, I get frightened because I have seen dogs that are said to be calm and peaceful attack people, especially children, out of the blue, and also chase people who ended up sustaining injuries. The truth is, dogs, especially those of certain breeds, have never been calm animals, and it's frustrating that some humans feel the need to inconvenience others with their dogs.

Walking around Glasgow can be very hectic for people who like a really clean environment and dislike seeing dog waste on the street, which is common in Glasgow. I saw a girl in front of our building walking her dog, and because she was close to the entrance, I started walking slowly so they could pass before I got there, but to my surprise, the dog went closer to the main entrance; she waited for the dog to poop right at the front entrance and then walked away. I have seen it a lot, and I wonder why they do that. These actions have a deep impact on our environment, yet the same individuals often say that dogs are better than humans. Dogs are not better than me or any human I know. Dogs don't fix your car, treat you at the hospital, or respond to break-ins; they're not firefighters. You might love your dog but stop devaluing humans with this kind of statement. This statement merely indicates a significantly low IQ, which is sad.

Remember when I had a terrifying encounter with a drunken dog owner? My hands are actually trembling as I recall that horrific journey on Glasgow's underground train. You might remember me sharing about it—a truly terrifying experience that laid bare the shocking lack of control over animals and the appalling behavior of some individuals. The event wasn't just unsettling; it was deeply frightening.

A clearly drunk man boarded the same train with a large Bull Terrier. So drunk that he could hardly stand. He flicked his hand at me, a disgusting gesture saying, "Fxxk you." The leash was practically slipping from his grasp. He could hardly control the dog; the dog was almost free. Every muscle in my body tensed. I was utterly alone with them in that confined space, paralyzed by the sheer terror that any movement from me would trigger an attack. The dog itself... it was straining at the leash towards me. The owner kept scaring me. These fears don't just disappear. They cling to you; each time I see a dog, it reminds me of that incident. Dogs chased me several times when I was a child, causing me to fall and sustain injuries. The owners should have exercised control over their dogs, but instead, they showed indifference. Instead of apologizing and promising to improve, they responded with, "Oh, it's just a puppy; just pet it." It loves you, but you don't know it. It is cute. Oh, just give it a rub. NO!

I, for one, have been chased by dogs a lot and traumatized by them on different occasions, so I don't recommend keeping them around kids who can't defend themselves unattended. If you own a dog for any reason, don't expect everyone to like your animal. When your animal approaches people, avoid encouraging them to pet it by saying, "Oh, it just likes petting; it is so calm, only a baby." We don't care; we don't share your views. Just keep your dog away from people like us. Every time I see a dog too close on the street, it is a struggle to keep it together. Please be considerate because there are many people like me.

I saw a recent video of a dog attacking a child who was walking with her dad peacefully, just trying to use the street they pay taxes for. Do you think the situation is okay? The dad had to wrestle the dog away; despite his efforts, the dog continued to jump and try to bite the child. Imagine the dad wasn't there.

I understand that people keep animals, especially dogs, for various reasons, including emotional support, and I respect that. However, it's important to keep others in mind when in public spaces. If your dog gives you emotional support, that's great, but remember that the same dog providing you comfort might have caused trauma to someone else. So let's learn to respect each other's spaces and lastly, stop that talk of dogs being better than humans. I have seen posts about dogs on Instagram where people comment and say such things. Some even wish they were dogs. If you think so, then dogs are better than you, not us. We are superior beings, and nothing can ever come close to our status as humans, which is a privilege. I appreciate being a human being, and you should too. Thank God for it.

You can have as many dogs as you like; not everyone wants them close. Put them on a leash in public when needed; don't let them go close to strangers when walking your dog.

Let me add further details about my former apartment: When you say each to their own, I understand, but I hear this:

However, I'd add that this 'each to their own' really only applies when the dog isn't inconveniencing others.

At my former address, many owners didn't bother to pick up after their dogs, which was a constant nuisance. Even worse, one owner never seemed to bathe their dog, and the smell was absolutely overpowering – you could barely breathe if they'd just come in from a walk. The odor coming from their apartment was extremely strong and unpleasant. We both pay rent but one person is inconveniencing the other.

P.S. Believe me when I say I get bored hearing those stories about your dog when I'm trying to have a good time with you. I just want to chill out and refresh. Taxes are high, so please understand that chilling time is exactly that – chilling time, not a moment to show me all your dog photos and videos. It honestly exhausts me.

Always remember your calm can be another's trauma. Before you comment, keep in mind that our experiences shape our opinions. Thank you for reading.