Monday, March 4

Analyzing an Alarming Question I was asked about rape

Analyzing an Alarming Question I was asked about rape

Earlier this year, around early February, someone I used to casually meet up with and stroll around the city or visit the library with brought up a conversation that caught my attention.

They asked me, "How do you prove rape between a male and female who are friends?" At first, I didn't fully grasp the question and responded that rape can be proven in various ways, but they insisted that wasn't what they were asking.

They repeated the question, clarifying that they meant how rape could be proven between friends if a woman was raped by her male friend. They confidently stated it couldn't be proven.

This made me uneasy, wondering why such a question suddenly arose. I felt uncomfortable, sensing there was more to this conversation than met the eye.

I felt like this conversation was testing my wisdom and how I'd react to such a situation. Despite my discomfort, I composed myself and explained that rape is a serious matter and can be proven through various means. However, they countered by saying it would essentially be her word against his.

Something about their demeanor and the way they discussed the topic didn't sit right with me. It felt like the question came from a place of ulterior motives rather than genuine curiosity.

When I got home, the conversation lingered in my mind. I confided in a friend, who advised me to be cautious around this person. I decided it was best to distance myself from them. While I would acknowledge them if I saw them, I chose to keep my interactions brief.

I felt that this person was asking me this question to gauge how I would react to such a situation and whether I would agree with their assertion that rape couldn't be proven. It seemed like they were testing my response, hoping I would also affirm that it couldn't be proven. However, my conscience couldn't align with such a dismissive attitude towards such a serious issue.

Sometimes, when people ask strange or unsettling questions out of nowhere, it's important to listen to your instincts. Our intuition often tells us when something isn't right, whether it's mere curiosity or something more sinister.

In my life, I've encountered people who asked peculiar questions, only to later learn they were involved in situations related to those questions. People can be unsettling, especially towards women. It's crucial to guide yourself because that's the only thing you truly own on this earth.

I wanted to share this experience and ask for opinions: Did I make the right choice in cutting off ties with this person? What do you think?


  1. Hai fatto benissimo a dare retta al tuo istinto ed allontanare persone come queste.
    In effetti la domanda era alquanto insolita e ha messo dei dubbi anche a me il loro comportamento.

  2. Lindíssima!
    Uma boa semana.
    Um beijo.

  3. I believe you did. You feel that's something is not right. Trust your gut on this one Melody.


  4. What an uncomfortable situation you have had to live in, I think you did very well in putting your distance, nowadays people have very strange behaviors and anything that is not aligned with your values is better to stay away from. Kisses

  5. It seems very strange to me, it is better to follow the advice they have given you.

  6. Your soul felt something was bad and decided to put distance from negativity, I've done the same and this is best deal for us always!!!

  7. You did well putting distance from you and that person that made you feel uneasy!
    Really that whole situation was pretty strange: always follow your instinct!

  8. My country is shaken by the rape that happened in the centre of our capital. A 25-year-old girl is dead. Some people walked past and didn't do anything to help (they were seen on CCTV later on by the police). Fortunately the bastard has already been arrested and I hope he will rott in jail. :(

  9. Si te hace sentir una persona incomoda. Es mejor alejarse. Te mando un beso.

  10. Boa noite, Melody
    É melhor se afastar, estamos vivendo tempos trabalhosos, um forte abraço.

  11. Hello,
    Aproxima-se o Dia Internacional da Mulher, mas temos ainda muito caminho a percorrer.
    Fez muito bem em se afastar dessas pessoas, que, por vezes, têm segundas intenções.

  12. I would have the same attitude as you. Rape is not a joke or trivial matter, it must be treated with the seriousness it demands. Furthermore, we never know people's intentions and it is better to keep distance indeed.

  13. You made the right choice, the fact that you were made uncomfortable makes it the right decision.

  14. Yes if you felt uncomfortable cutting ties with them is the thing to do you need to trust you gut

  15. yo haría lo mismo que tu, poner distancia con esa persona. la violación es una cosa muy seria. Un saludo.

  16. Creo que hiciste lo correcto, yo hubiese hecho lo mismo que vos, me dejo guiar por mi intuición, creo que nunca se equivoca. Coincido con tu pensamiento, saludos.

  17. Hiciste bien, te debe respeto no abuso.

  18. Was this friend a guy or a girl? I think that would depend whether I continued my friendship or not. If it was a close friend, then I'd probably be nosy and ask more. But a casual friend who might have been baiting me, I'd probably try to stear clear of.

  19. Si lo mejor fue que te alejaras, no valen la pena ese tipo de personas, saludos:D

  20. You are a wise and beautiful young woman. Trust yourself, your choices are the best for you.

  21. thanks for sharing, have a beautiful day :)

  22. It is an unsettling topic. And sometimes, we do wonder why these questions come up. Now days it is can even involve same sex. Actually, it always has. And like you said there are always choices, but some are too naive to make them. Yet some of us are like bartenders to our friends. I think back at some questions I've had and accidentally found out their secrets. Keep writing! All the best to a Happy March!

  23. Yes, you did good (especially if this weird question came from a male), I believe so. You know what they say: better be safe than sorry. Don't be sorry, always be safe when it comes to your wellbeing. What a cruel world we live in - a woman simply can't feel safe anymore. In my native Poland a young Belarusian woman was brutally attacked, raped and killed in the morning hours. She was on her way home. Apparently, she didn't want a lift as her home was just around the corner and she felt safe.
    Not too long ago, a young Irish teacher was horrifically killed in Ireland by a random & disgusting individual (a Slovakian immigrant) who followed her when she was jogging. It happened in broad daylight.... I could go on and go on...
    Take care, Melody.


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