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A friend wants my apartment, I refused, he went to my house owner to ask for it, what should I do?


There are situations that occur in life that shapes you to a different kind of person. Honestly, at this point, if I decide not to trust people I am not in any way to be blamed. 

Here's the story:
A friend has asked me several times for my apartment in exchange for his, but I said no. Today, I got a message from my house owner saying: your friend wants your apartment but I told him you are not leaving yet. What should I do?






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51 comments

  1. Tell your house owner that you have already told your friend that you are not leaving and that he doesn't accept no as an answer. Tell the house owner that you feel that this friends consistent asking is becoming harassment and that if he does it again, or if the house owner is contacted again, you will report your friend for harassment. Making it clear to the house owner will put them in the picture and will help get support. Also tell your friend, once and for all, that you are not interested and that if they ask again, you will be letting the police know that you feel this is harassment. In the meantime, write down the days/dates/times that you have been asked, as evidence or harassment. Probably by telling them that you will contact police will be enough to get them to stop.

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  2. “A friend has asked me several times for my apartment in exchange for his, but I said no. Today, I got a message from my house owner saying: your friend wants your apartment but I told him you are not leaving yet. What should I do?”

    A2A:

    From what I read here, it appears that the correct answer is “nothing.” Your house owner is supporting your remaining in the house, and turned your “friend” away.

    All I would do in your stead, is to go into my mind and relabel this person as “ex friend.”

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  3. You should thank your landlord and apologize for your faux-friend bothering him. Explain that you’ve already told this person repeatedly that you’re not leaving but he seems not to understand. Assure the landlord that YOU will tell him if and when you intend to leave, which you do not intend to do anytime soon.

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  4. You should sever your ties with this ‘friend’.
    What kind of friend would push so hard for something you don’t want, for utterly selfish reasons? No kind, that’s what kind. And make sure the house owner knows without question, where you stand, and that all of this is going on aside form the fact that you’ve repeatedly said no.

    Your ‘friend’ is really fucked up, and doing something really fucked up. Kick him to the curb, and get a restraining order if necessary.

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  5. Tell him you will vacate but you don’t want his apartment, you’ll pick one on your own and he has to come up with the deposit, first months rent, moving costs and the two days pay you’re going to lose.

    Write up a simple contract specifying costs and conditions for default. Make a copy and both sign each contract. You keep the original.

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  6. This guy is trying to weasel you out of your apartment and you refer to him as a “friend”? I hate to see what you call an enemy. I know what I would tell him but I don’t consider it appropriate to use that kind of language on an open website like this.

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  7. So, your so-called “friend” went to your landlord, trying to get your apartment … when he couldn’t convince you, he went behind your back …

    and you still referred to him as “A friend…” - in fact, he acted more like a snake than a friend.

    Lose the loser, keep your apartment.

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  8. I agree with the other answers — this person isn’t your friend. I’d call him and say, “I’m not exchanging apartments with you. Stop asking. I understand that you contacted my landlord about this. That was inappropriate.” Depending on his response, I might tell him at this point to stop contacting you.

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  9. Make it clear to said friend who isnt respecting you that your not doing an exchange and youd appreciate if he moved on that you dont appreciate feeling harassed

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  10. That, my friend, is not a friend. Wow…

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    Replies
    1. It is now Ex-friend of there is any term like that.

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  11. It is good your house owner is understanding. Let you 'friend' know that you know about everything and see whether he apologizes.

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    Replies
    1. I do not care about my ex friend at this point I made it clear to my house owner. Humans amazing you know. Things just keeps unfolding.

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  12. What on earth! This "friend" is not a true friend at all. How dare they go behind your back and speak to your landlord after you specifically said no. I am so angry on your behalf and I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Definitely let your landlord know that you are not leaving your apartment and tell your "friend" to back off or your friendship is at risk.
    the creation of beauty is art.

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    Replies
    1. It has been lots of disappointing people who God is clearing away from my path. It might make me hurt or get really angry but I made it clear to my house owner and she already knows. I am pretty amazed at what people can turn into.

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  13. I'm glad that the house owner supported you. The person whom you called friend certainly didn't behave like one. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a short season. Wishing you peace and the joy of genuine loving frienships.

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    Replies
    1. You are right, when I got that text from my house owner, I said to myself 'we are not friends. Its a closed chapter.

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  14. Put your foot down, tell him sternly this is once and for all I'm not moving don't bring it up or call my landlord again. Let him know if he values your relationship he won't ask again.

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  15. Your home owner shouldn't of even messaged you. He easily could've told your friend the place is currently occupied and leave it at that.

    Jennifer
    Curated by Jennifer

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  16. It doesn't sound like a very good friend if they are no listening to you! i'd stand your ground and let them know you are not moving if you don't want to!

    Hope that you are having a lovely weekend :)

    Away From Blue

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  17. This is more like an enemy, rather than a friend... I am glad this is your ex friend now!

    Shoot for the stars | ☆ ☆ ☆ | Facebook page | ☆ ☆ ☆ | Instagram

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  18. Just say NO, and mean it.

    Obviously, you are not interested (else you won't be asking here). Why keep this nagging inquiry lingering?

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  19. Unless you tell the homeowner you are going to move out, the apartment is yours unless the homeowner throws you out. I think your “friend” has a lot of nerve going over your head.

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  20. That's very forward of them to ask the owner after you said no. Some friend. Do nothing. It was borderline rude to go behind your back and ask the homeowner when they are supposed to be your friend. You would think that is something they would ask you to see when or if you were moving out first and leave it that. Or even tell you they would like to rent it if you when you move and please let the homeowner know.

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  21. “Your friend wants your apartment but I told him you are not leaving yet”

    Is this person really your friend?

    If you have no intention of leaving, make that very clear to the owner of the apartment.

    Your “friend” has gone over your head, therefore, how can this person be considered a friend?

    For your friend, to try to secure the apartment to lease after you decide to leave is quite normal.

    That's not the case here though is it.

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  22. Nothing. Sounds like your “friend” tried to do a run-around and failed.

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  23. Tell the owner about the repeated inquiries. Thank the owner for answering they way they did, and let them know that you have no interest in changing that answer. Tell your “friend” that the answer will not change and that they need to stop asking. Let them know that the continued harassment is affecting your friendship. After that, address any future inquiries of the sort with the following statement:

    “Eff off (insert friend’s name here)” in a completely neutral tone. Any further discussion should be met with the same.

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  24. You don’t need to do anything. Your friend is sol and your landlord is uninvolved.

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  25. Send him a text in bold letters asking him what part of no does he not understand? Reiterate once again that you have no intention of moving or exchanging apartments with him and tell him to please stop asking you because he is being a pain in the ass. If that doesn't do it cut ties with him.

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  26. Your do called friend didn't respect your decision and even tried to get the owner involved. Whst kind of frurnd is that? Respect is important in a friendship. If it were me I would be unhappy it and tell them it was inappropriate not to respect your decision.

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  27. You're not dealing with friend anymore. If he's going behind your back to try to not take no for an answer. He also clearly doesn't care if you're homeless if he's willing to commit such a gross violation of ettiquite.

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  28. Talk to your friend and ask him why he wants your apartment so badly. Talk to your owner to and tell him you aren’t leaving so to not give your apartment out to anyone as long as you’re there. Both of them should understand !

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  29. Respond to your landlord and say you have no plan to leave your apartment and send a copy of your response to your “friend” (who you should then drop for being a jerk).

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  30. I would make it clear to the house owner about your interest to stay where you are and not to listen to those without your permission to give up your apartment.

    I would put it in writing and sign it and date it so there will not be any confusion - I would also certify that letter to make sure that the owner received it!

    It would not have further discussion with this so-called friend who is trying to screw you over. Believe me, “some people will not accept “no” for an answer.

    I have been in your shoes and it was “HELL!” Which a co-worker kept trying to push her will onto me by manipulating others and giving the impression I had told her it was okay to bother my boss, who by the way fired her from taking so much time from work and told him I would take her eyeglasses to her home which she claimed I would? I had an appointment that day to get a loan and this woman was interfering with my life?

    She was frustrated with me because as much as I helped her at the office she expected more and more favors and she wanted me to be her chauffeur to pick her up at home and take her back and forth to work? I told her I run errands in the morning and evenings and could not subject myself to being late to work.\

    She wouldn’t stop her demands on my time and this woman was married who did she think I was, “a fool of a person?” I had worse manipulators in my time and had enough of them! Please don’t allow people to manipulate and control you it will get worse if you do.

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  31. plain and simple you ask your landlord have you given him letter that you are moving ? Of course you will say no so it settled you are not movie.

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  32. What does “ not leaving yet mean “ ? �� Are you planning on moving out and is your friend is aware of this ?? �� Or not at all and your landlord just misspoke ?? �� . Why is your friend so interested in your apartment and does he know something that he's not telling you! ?? �� Why is he so persistent in this matter ?? �� If were you , I would find out what is truly going on here and get to the bottom of all this quickly as possible .

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  33. Make sure you have an up to date Lease and tell the Owner when or if you plan to move.

    Also I would tell this so called friend that they were told that you are not moving and to stop talking about it and that you know he or she went behind your back and you don't think that is beinf a friend and what the hay were they thinking.

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  34. Tell the landlord he not stable,and that you aren’t moving. Next time he call have him say he not letting you out of your lease

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  35. That person is not your friend. Went behind your back to your landlord. Good that you are a good tenant and your landlord told you. Now tell your friend to back off, go away, mind their own business and to leave you and your landlord alone. Harassment charges are easy to prove if they continue. I know you have better friends than that or your landlord wouldn't think so highly of you.

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  36. Tell your f”friend” that no means no and to not take it upon themself to contact your landlord. Tell your “friend”to not ask that question again.

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  37. Are you close to his or her family?

    Seek professional help

    Set up intervention with loved ones

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  38. Respond to your landlord and say you have no plan to leave your apartment and send a copy of your response to your “friend” (who you should then drop for being a jerk).

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  39. Tell your so called friend; NO, mean no. If you ask me again for my apartment then our friendship will end - your not showing me any respect at all as I have told you no several time then you call the owner telling him you want my apartment; what is wrong with you - are you Obsessive Compulsive. You need to see a Psychiatrist and get some help. For the last time I will not let you have my apartment and if you ask me again then our friendship will end. If he ever asked again, document it, the time and date or if it’s a text save it. Block his number and cut all contact, this so called friend has a mental problem. I used to have a friend till I realized he was obsessive compulsive, my ex GF and I got him kicked off city police department plus never seen any guy in a gym abuse steroids as bad as he did which made him worse. He would stalk women after one date and they would tell him to never contact me again, so bad she call police chief, he tried to rape a female friend of mine and when I broke up with this woman two days later she started dating him thinking it would bother me but it did not; I started to call her and warn her but did not want any contact with her. The ex GF called police on him for breaking in her house and the cops told him to go home so she took out a 50 B protective order against him. He broke in her house again and beat on her - that was the final straw as I has call the chief a couple of times.

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  40. You cannot complain what you tolerate. Talk to your friend and advise him that you will not be bullied like this. Set up a meeting with him and talk to him. Stand your ground.

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  41. Sad that some pople are like that!
    www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com

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  42. That's not a friend. Sounds like your landlord is a decent human being.

    What did you tell your “friend”? Sounds like you said something to the guy who wants your apartment. Did you tell him you were moving to get him out of your apartment. If he got mail there, you might be stuck. Some state laws say, once a person gets mail at a place, he/she can stay there. You might want to check.

    If you told the landlord he was staying with you for awhile, you might have a heck of a time getting him out of there. The landlord is likely going to follow the state or province laws.

    I'd tell the landlord that you want to change the locks.Then pay to change them. Give the landlord the new key key and ask him not to give the new key to your “friend".

    I know.

    No good deed goes unpunished. You were likely trying to be a nice guy and let him stay for a while. You didn't know he had a secret agenda. I had military neighbors that thought I should allow them to use one of my.cars. I didn't. They got really pissed and tried to report me to the sheriffs for stealing their mail. They harassed me until they were assigned to another part of the country. He actually came back to the area and chased me down.one day. Moron.

    I can't tell you what to do but what I suggested here. Are you afraid to lose his “friendship”? He's not afraid to lose yours.

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  43. That is a very strange request to me! I am glad that your landlord/home owner turned your friend away as well. I would leave it at that! And I would be upset that my friend went behind my back after I told them no. Totally weird! Thanks for linking up.

    Shelbee
    www.shelbeeontheedge.com

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  44. Stand your ground and don't be pressured into giving it up!

    Emma xxx
    www.style-splash.com

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