What are the early signs that a relationship is starting to become toxic?

One of the difficult aspects of leaving a toxic relationship is for the individuals involved to come to the realization that they are in a toxic relationship. This can be excused for many other behaviors and also seen as love. As humans, we have a bit of toxicity in us. We do things that might not be acceptable at some point in life but when it is a constant habit the alarm should start ringing so loudly. When you can identify early signs of a toxic relationship you can be able to figure out ways to break out of it.

I asked a question on Quora which I am also asking everyone reading this article. 
How do you identify toxicity at the early stage of a relationship? 
More on mental health.

Photo by logan hansen from Pexels


  1. Some signs that a relationship is toxic:

    You argue often, about small things.

    You argue about the same things, over and over again.

    You argue about basic things, like whether it’s okay or not for an ex to have a sleepover with them.

    The person has no regard for your feelings.

    They insult you.

    They make discouraging comments about your likes and interests.

    They make you feel hard to love.

  2. If the only time the “relationship” seems fine is when you are kissing and cuddling and the rest of the time you are arguing or ignoring each other, that is the sign of a toxic relationship. Life is too short for toxic relationships.

  3. Jealousy without a doubt is what you want to look out for. Toxic people want you all to themselves. They try to separate you from friends and family.

  4. When you consider persevering with the relationship because you think in time, it might get better.

  5. If the control sets in early. My abuser in the beginning didn’t want discuss certain topics as we could before as friends. Like politics, religion, ghosts, e.t.c. I was taken aback but had just assumed the relationship was new and we both didn’t want to shake things up so early. After months, it was still an issue to discuss because he felt it would lead to an argument. I didn’t want to rock the boat or pressure an uncomfortable conversation we were not ready for. But more signs came that I didn’t recognize immediately. When the rules change when the line is drawn between friendship and a relationship, then red flag!

  6. Controlling and insulting are usually early tell signs I think.

  7. actually it starts with not complimenting and kind words. and not doing things together. a slippery slop or an avalanche may soon follow. is easy to play it off, give them an excuse/ make excuses for. When we for get that we are special, and let or except negative words or actions. and one is left wondering how did we get here in this toxic place. the answer is at some point we forgot we are Gods children an deserve to be loved ❤, and to love our selfs.

  8. Hun that's the new fashion …I guess…once the pass your boundries…be disrespectful…disrespectful ignores your calls or text…put you at the end of the list when both of you had arranged to be togheter …name calling…physical …others..

  9. Melody, listen to I Dream of You Starry Knight Project.

    If he doesn”t feel that way towards you it is time to part

  10. If you argue and fight over 10 times a month, if you can’t resolve anything by talking, it’s time to terminate the relationship.

  11. There are several indicators that you can observe to know when to leave a relationstionship. Firstly when you realise that your spouse does not want to pay attention to you. In orther words, when you she him/her ingnoring you, then you should know that it is the right time to leave a relationship. Unfaithfulness is the factor number one that should make an individual to leave a relationship. If you realise that your spouse is cheating on you, then you should stop that relationship with immediate effect. This is because there are various negative effects of unfaithfulness even in the life the people in a relationship.

  12. I’m not sure, because I took these signs to be the start. But to me, when my partner started to ‘push’ me around physically. And his shoves became harder and more intense despite my telling him not to be so rough, I decided that I should leave, because he had no respect for me.

  13. The narcissist I dealt with tried to begin the physical abuse! after two times I contacted the police and he was scared of the authorities….then he began talking to his mom and family about me SMEAR CAMPAIGNING! Stay on the phone for hours talking About everyone and their faults except his own…..then planning things that I had suggested taking the credibility! I don’t know about all NARCS it this one had no original thoughts of his own!

    He wasn’t very intelligent but street smart which made up for some of his naive and non classy tactics. PRETTY MUCH…..why does GOOD GIRLS LIKE BAD BOYS antic.

    Then it began with isolating you from everyone to include family! Being in lust not love that I found out 29 years later was not working for me! I stayed doing all of his talking for him any business paperwork etc!

    so these are some things not all to make u want to RUN FAST AND NOW!

  14. You are tense mutch of the time, you're not sleeping well, you are not eating properly.

    You have mixed feelings towards the person, you crave them but you fear them too.

    You feel confused much of the time, like everything you have ever known might actually be wrong.

    The better you treat them, the worse they treat you.

    They are constantly telling you that you are too sensitive and that you should not be offended by the things they say and do.

    They are critical of your character and repeatedly tell you that they used to be like you, until they saw the light…

    They clearly have relationship problems with other people, like their family, friends or coworkers.

    You think you should be happy, but you just are not happy overall.

  15. Let’s face it; relationships are hard work. They take a lot of time, emotional involvement, and effort. Even the most successful long-term relationships have their difficulties over the years. But when are you going to step on the brakes and say you’ve had enough!

    Here are 9 signs of a toxic relationship :

    1.Physical violence

    Under no conditions, your partner should put his hand on you; if your relationship has declined to such an extent that you are physically abused, it is time to leave. The need to leave is even more urgent if there are children in the picture. Violence is unhealthy in any situation, and legal action must be taken.

    2.Sexual Harassment

    Fewer people may think of sexual abuse in a relationship, but more than half of women victims of sexual violence report being raped by an intimate partner. Any sexual activity or contact you did not consent to is considered sexual abuse, even if the perpetrator is your significant other. If you have been a victim, you should consult with a sexual harassment attorney.

    3.Lie or cheat

    Honesty is the foundation of any stable relationship. Without it, everything falls apart. There’s not much point in trying to save the relationship if you can’t trust the other person, especially if there are documented instances of infidelity. Until you are caught in a web of deceit and betrayal, lies will only lead to more lies, which is not ideal for a long-term commitment. Save yourself the pain and walk away.

    4.Addiction Issues

    As anyone who has been involved with an addict knows, you can’t have a real relationship with someone who is experiencing a mental health crisis until they choose to seek help. It usually doesn’t happen until they hit the bottom. Don’t become codependent. Believing that you can magically “heal” your partner with the power of your love will only make your grief worse.

    5.Communication failure

    Open and honest communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If that breaks, everything else fails, too. If your partner can’t listen to you or doesn’t participate in meaningful discussions, it may be time to rethink what you want. Even if you’re not comfortable communicating honestly with your significant other, think about why you feel that way.

    i hope my answer helps you .

  16. Great discussion prompt, Melody! I think if at first something feels off, it is worth investigating. Don't compromise yourself or your values for another person. Some toxic people, unfortunately, are very manipulative and can fool even the most aware people, so it may hard to tell if someone is toxic early on in a relationship. But I really think as soon as something feels "not quite right", there is never any harm in looking into it further. I am a firm believer that everyone has their limits as well and will leave toxic relationships as soon as they can't take it anymore. And that limit is super personal and cannot be dictated by another. Thanks for linking up.



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