Saturday, November 25

Holiday fights starting? How to calm them down

How to keep people from getting too angry at gatherings.

The holidays, envisioned as a time of joy, love, and festive lights, sometimes take an unexpected turn into disagreements when family and friends gather. However, with a little planning and awareness of potential triggers, you can avoid getting caught up in arguments.

Understanding Holiday Stress

The holiday season can be stressful due to financial worries, colder weather, and the juggling act of work and time off. Emotional vulnerability is heightened during this time, making it challenging to manage feelings and communicate effectively. Factors like painful memories or a lack of family support can add to the emotional strain.

Alcohol consumption during holiday gatherings can escalate tensions, as it lowers inhibitions and makes it harder to stay calm. In a survey, 57% of respondents noted family members becoming argumentative after consuming too much alcohol.

Planning for Harmony

To defuse emotions and potential arguments, consider these practical tips:

1. Set a time limit: Communicate when the festivities will end to create a clear plan.

2.  Ask for help: Have a trusted person signal you if a conversation becomes risky, prompting you to step back.

3. Schedule breaks: Plan moments to check in with your emotions during the gathering, ensuring a pause to prevent conflicts.

4. Prepare words of deflection: Anticipate and practice responses to redirect conversations away from potential conflicts.

De-escalating Arguments

If a heated debate arises, employ these strategies:

1. Don't take the bait: Avoid answering nosy questions and redirect the focus to others.

2. Adjust your mindset: Accept differing perspectives and choose not to engage in unhealthy conversations.

3. Respond with kindness: Maintain a compassionate response even in the face of anger, recognizing that it stems from caring.

4. Remember the purpose: The goal of holiday gatherings is celebration, not resolving contentious issues. Keep it festive and enjoyable.

By incorporating these tips, you can navigate holiday gatherings smoothly, focusing on creating pleasant memories together.



  1. I agree with all Points, it is important to prevent violence during stress situations. Good tips, thank you for sharing.

  2. This made me think of my dad who use to say it's not Christmas till someone cries

  3. Spokojne planowanie jest podstawÄ… w tego typu wyjazdach.

  4. Very interesting observations!
    Many people experience the blues during the holidays.

  5. We just had a family gathering for our Thanksgiving holiday. Minor fights and arguments are not uncommon in my family, so yes, it was overwhelming and stressful at times. We stepped back and focus on why we were there to begin with. In the end, we all walked away with good memories of time spent together.

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