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August 8, 2020

Name change after marriage: Tradition, Trash or Choice?

In the world, bearing your father's name as your last name is now a tradition that has eaten deeply into the minds of people. Have you ever wondered why 80 per cent of persons on earth bear their father's name as their last name? To be frank I know you haven't because it has done on you as a tradition that you must bear your father's name as your last name.

The question is does your mother and you as a woman, not have equal rights of choice as your father/husband?

Years ago, women education was seen as an irrelevant subject to discuss on, women were married out early to men they knew little or nothing about, they had to obey and do as it pleases their husbands because they had no contributions to the family. Women gave birth and the men named the children and the children bear their father's name as their last name. Women had little or no life than bearing children and taking care of their homes. This led to early marriage, woman slavery etc. But there's one most important thing that this act gave birth to. It gave birth to a tradition that has consumed the minds of women till date even as they are now educated, business-minded and productive.

When a person is not educated he/she has less knowledge of things going on around them. This was the problem that captured women into accepting such a tradition of answering their husband's name after marriage. In recent times, the world has tried to correct itself and we have moved and grown to understand the importance of education for everyone as it can help the world to become a better place. Women and men go to school and sit in the same classroom, work the same jobs and basically do the same functions. Why do women marry and still change their last name to their husband's name?

This was born out of a tradition that never favoured women, women were seen as less and had no power to anything in the old-time since all they contributed was nothing, hence decisions were made by their husbands. This tradition is the one that sees the man superior to the woman in all things. Most especially the last name of a child. God created man and woman, a woman was never an afterthought she has always been part of the man. So both the man and woman have equal rights to the child but the mother plays a vital role in the birth and upbringing of the child so she has more rights to the child than the man. So why should the child answer the father's name?

Women go through childbirth. Some die in the process, no one remembers their names, nothing to continue their names. But a man's linage continues by his name. This is sad. Women do almost all the training of a child, some while working and some a full time stay home mum. Yet women are seen as less and no name acknowledgement is given to us. If a woman dies her name never continues, the man remarries and both the children of his new wife and late wife bears his name. If a man dies the children still bears his name.

If you say this act of taking after a man's name is tradition and you really want to keep to the traditions of your land and what your forefathers taught you then you need to keep to all the traditions. There are lots of traditions we do not follow, the truth is we pick what favours us by choice.

Children should have the right to choose which names they want to answer:
In essence, why should a child bear just their father's name as his/her last name? Why not the mother's name? A woman carries her child for nine months most times more or less. she endured the pain and gives birth, starts taking care of the child right from her body and yet she gets no acknowledgement. The man names the child, the child takes his name, the woman being his wife answers his name.


PS: If you say names are used as a means of identification, please do not forget that people answer the same names and so this is not even an excuse to continue this.

This is a total look down on women, our name and where we come from means a lot and should be strongly acknowledged. Children should be allowed to bear their mother's name, women should have the choice of answering their husband's name or not. Women have been looked down on for a long time and it is time for the things that matter to men to also matter to women. 

The choice is yours, please stand firm to stop this tradition that started a long time ago which was born out of the look-down on women.

I am very open to hearing your views, please let me know what your take on this tradition is.


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