Friday, August 7

Name change after marriage: Tradition, Trash or Choice?

In the world, bearing your father's name as your last name is now a tradition that has eaten deeply into the minds of people. Have you ever wondered why 80 per cent of persons on earth bear their father's name as their last name? To be frank I know you haven't because it has done on you as a tradition that you must bear your father's name as your last name.

The question is does your mother and you as a woman, not have equal rights of choice as your father/husband?

Years ago, women education was seen as an irrelevant subject to discuss on, women were married out early to men they knew little or nothing about, they had to obey and do as it pleases their husbands because they had no contributions to the family. Women gave birth and the men named the children and the children bear their father's name as their last name. Women had little or no life than bearing children and taking care of their homes. This led to early marriage, woman slavery etc. But there's one most important thing that this act gave birth to. It gave birth to a tradition that has consumed the minds of women till date even as they are now educated, business-minded and productive.

When a person is not educated he/she has less knowledge of things going on around them. This was the problem that captured women into accepting such a tradition of answering their husband's name after marriage. In recent times, the world has tried to correct itself and we have moved and grown to understand the importance of education for everyone as it can help the world to become a better place. Women and men go to school and sit in the same classroom, work the same jobs and basically do the same functions. Why do women marry and still change their last name to their husband's name?

This was born out of a tradition that never favoured women, women were seen as less and had no power to anything in the old-time since all they contributed was nothing, hence decisions were made by their husbands. This tradition is the one that sees the man superior to the woman in all things. Most especially the last name of a child. God created man and woman, a woman was never an afterthought she has always been part of the man. So both the man and woman have equal rights to the child but the mother plays a vital role in the birth and upbringing of the child so she has more rights to the child than the man. So why should the child answer the father's name?

Women go through childbirth. Some die in the process, no one remembers their names, nothing to continue their names. But a man's linage continues by his name. This is sad. Women do almost all the training of a child, some while working and some a full time stay home mum. Yet women are seen as less and no name acknowledgement is given to us. If a woman dies her name never continues, the man remarries and both the children of his new wife and late wife bears his name. If a man dies the children still bears his name.

If you say this act of taking after a man's name is tradition and you really want to keep to the traditions of your land and what your forefathers taught you then you need to keep to all the traditions. There are lots of traditions we do not follow, the truth is we pick what favours us by choice.

Children should have the right to choose which names they want to answer:
In essence, why should a child bear just their father's name as his/her last name? Why not the mother's name? A woman carries her child for nine months most times more or less. she endured the pain and gives birth, starts taking care of the child right from her body and yet she gets no acknowledgement. The man names the child, the child takes his name, the woman being his wife answers his name.

PS: If you say names are used as a means of identification, please do not forget that people answer the same names and so this is not even an excuse to continue this.

This is a total look down on women, our name and where we come from means a lot and should be strongly acknowledged. Children should be allowed to bear their mother's name, women should have the choice of answering their husband's name or not. Women have been looked down on for a long time and it is time for the things that matter to men to also matter to women. 

The choice is yours, please stand firm to stop this tradition that started a long time ago which was born out of the look-down on women.

I am very open to hearing your views, please let me know what your take on this tradition is.



  1. I like the idea of a husband and wife having the same last name but it doesn't have to be a man's last name. Taking the woman's last name could also be an option. For me it makes sense to keep one's last name if one doesn't plan to have kids but if there are kids, it is nice if there is an agreement so that everyone has the same last name as a family. Women taking the husband name is a tradition and it doesn't have to make women feel bad, I think it depends on the individual.

  2. This is such an interesting topic. Personally, I think that whatever name someone chooses to take (whether it be the mothers or fathers or something else entirely) is wonderful. It all depends what feels right to that person. My mom kept her own last name when my parents got married and it created a lot of confusion in my childhood. People thought she wasn't my mom because we didn't share the same last name, and so on. That was the reason that I took my husbands name when we got married. It wasn't that I wasn't proud of my name or that I didn't want to keep my own name. It was moreso that I didn't want to deal with all of the confusion I'd experienced as a child!
    the creation of beauty is art.

  3. I've never understood how a woman, just for the fact of getting married, has to loose her surname. For me would be like loosing part of my identity...

    In Spain women don't take the husband's surname: we all keep ours. It's true that when spaniards have children, they take the father's surname as their first one, and the mother's surname as their second one. For the last years there have been some people who have changed that order, but that's not very frequent.

    What was quite frequent in Catalonia since the 15th - 16th century is that, if a man married a woman of an "important" family, she was the eldest of the siblings and didn't have any brother or cousin who could carry the surname, the children would take the mother's surname first. It actually happened in my family around the 15th century ;)

    Have a lovely day!

    Eli - Curly Style

  4. It's such a personal thing, isn't it? I'm glad times have changed so at least there are options now.

  5. I know it is kind of crazy and it is like you are owned in a way. My mom kept her maiden name. Or maybe we could do both names with a hyphen. And love your makeup BTW!

    Allie of

  6. This is an interesting discussion because it happens in almost all countries when a woman after marriage will bear the name of her husband. Maybe after this matter is discussed, later a man can also bear the surname of the woman.

    Greetings from Indonesia.

  7. For me that is choice. I will keep my surname and add my future husband. Because I think if I change it, I will feel like a new person.

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  8. wow this is such an interesting topic. I feel like taking a man's last name is a tradition and the woman should have the freedom to change her last name or not.

    style frontier

  9. In my country, you cannot choose, you automatically use your husband's last name.
    For me, I want to use my husband's name and because I love him.
    But having a right to choose is great also!


  10. This is a very sensitive topic. need to discuss such necessarily! this will give us the development of society. Thank you for writing about this!

  11. I share the same opinion as you! I think it's important to maintain your name but I think everybody has their own reasons to do either path.

  12. In my case, I chose do not to use the husband's last name, because it would be too much trouble to change all documents. He didn't care.

    Beeijos da Tami <3
    Eu Milhazes

  13. Thanks for interested post

  14. It seems like there's some history missing here. Biblically, a man is to leave his parents and cling to his wife, so not really like a possession. Also, doesn't Jewish heritage depend on the mother? Anyway, interesting to think about.

  15. great:)

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  16. Hi I have to say I changed my name when I got married as I thought it was easy to have everyone with the same name in passports and it was however I get divorces and the first thing I wanted was my name back I am still changing all documents back to my maiden name and it is taking me a lot of time I will never change my name again unless extremely necessary Great post Cris


  17. I think it's okay to make your own choice. I always thought I'd take my husband's surname when I am married but I think a hyphenated-surname suits me best since I have done things socially and more publically with my name. <3

  18. I am with you on this. Women should be allowed to choose whatever they want.


  19. This is a very interesting topic, I think women have a choice to choose if they'll keep their surname or use their husband's but it depends on the culture or country they're in



  20. I think it's dependent on each individual person, but it's nice for those that do decide to have matching surnames xo

    Gemma | Makeup Muddle

  21. Great post, Melody! I am not much of a traditionalist at all and I did not take my husband's last name. I kept mine because I like mine. It goes with my first name. And all of my degrees and diplomas have my name on them. No point in changing that. But like you said, we must all make the decisions that are best for us. And lots of people still like the whole family to have the same last name...which usually ends up being the husband's name. But things are slowly changing and change is always good in the long run!


  22. I don’t believe in it, myself. And several billion other people in the world don’t believe in it and have never done it. So you’re really talking about a very small portion of the world (like the USA and parts of western Europe) that try to mark women as property through their names. I won’t second-guess another person’s choices, but it should always be the choice of the individual.

  23. Absolutely. Further, it isn’t just men and women who marry together. Same sex couples get married too, as do non-binary people. Everyone should have the freedom to decide what their name is.

  24. Of course it should be a choice..BUT getting married in itself is a signing of a contract..That's what it is .So,,maybe you should take it I'd you make the decision to get married in the first place.A lot of women don't take their husbands names..Maybe husband's should take their wife's name

  25. I’ll be the bad guy here. In my culture, American, it is customary. It was never an issue when my wife and I got married. However, I would have never married a women who was not all in, which included taking my last name.

  26. Continuing to use the surname known in the social life of the woman is to claim the identity that she is recognized and, more importantly, she defines herself. Protecting the married woman's surname will also contribute to the family institution to have an egalitarian structure. By allowing the use of the surname of the woman that she had before marriage, there will be equality between the parties in marriage. It is not known whether the equality to be achieved will cause "men" to stop considering themselves superior, but it is certain that women will feel more whole.


Thank you for sharing your opinion.

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