I cried today, and even now the feeling hasn’t quite left me. It wasn’t something I expected, but in a way it felt necessary—like a reminder that it’s alright to be human and to feel things fully.
I spoke with a friend I’ve had for over 15 years. Over time, our communication has slowly faded, and although I understood the reasons—life, responsibilities, changing routines—I finally found the courage to speak about it again. This was the second time I brought it up, but this time felt different. Heavier.
I tried to approach it gently. I told her I understood that life gets busy, that people meet others, priorities shift, and that’s all part of growing. But I also shared something simple—that even a small reply when she can would mean a lot, just to know she’s okay.
What stayed with me most was her birthday. My partner and I were genuinely excited to call her, to celebrate her, but the call went unanswered. I waited, hoping she would call back. When she didn’t, I sent a message. Still no reply. Days passed, and I tried calling again. Nothing. I started to worry.
When we finally spoke this month, she explained she had been travelling at the time, which is why she couldn’t answer. I understood that. But I also told her that I had sent messages that were delivered, and I had hoped for even a short reply—something to let me know she was alright. Especially since this pattern has been happening for over a year now.
She acknowledged that her communication hasn’t been the best, and I believe she meant it. But as I was speaking, something shifted inside me. A wave of emotion I hadn’t anticipated. It felt deeper than the words I was saying.
I had to pause. I asked her if I could take a minute and call her back. She agreed. The moment I hung up, I broke down. I cried for a couple of minutes, not fully understanding where it all came from, only that it had been there for a while.
I gathered myself and called her back, and we continued the conversation as though nothing had happened. She didn’t notice, and part of me was glad—because I wasn’t even sure how to explain it myself.
What I do know is that I care about her, and I believe we’ll be alright. But that moment showed me that beneath my understanding and patience, there was also a quiet sadness I hadn’t fully faced until now.
I would wonder if your feeling was that you valued your friendship with her far more than she did, and that her lack of response was that of letting go. Because she didn't care enough anymore to stay in contact. It is a sad thing to lose a friend. You lost her a long time ago not during that sequence of events where she didn't respond to your inquiries. OR...is she developing signs of aging and not remembering what you were once for each other.?i
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