
This has been sitting on my mind for a while, and as uncomfortable as it is for me to write about it, I feel like I need to get it out. I have been going over the same thoughts again and again, trying to understand why I feel the way I do. The truth is, I haven’t come to any conclusion. I’m not accusing anyone of anything, and I’m not trying to create a problem where there isn’t one. I genuinely want to look at this with an open mind, which is why I’m bringing it here. Sometimes you can ask a question directly, but sometimes even asking the question can make it seem as though you have already made up your mind or are taking offence. So instead, I want to tell you exactly what happened and let you tell me whether I’m seeing something that isn’t there or whether you understand why I feel a little uncomfortable about the whole situation.
It started with a property I was trying to fence back home. When you are not physically present for a project, you have no choice but to trust people. You have to give people the benefit of the doubt and hope that everything is being handled properly. Unfortunately, I started noticing changes in behaviour from the person handling the fencing. Whenever I tried to communicate or ask questions, I sometimes felt that they were becoming defensive, even when I wasn’t accusing them of anything. Eventually, I became frustrated and decided to pause the project. It was almost finished, but I needed to step back and figure out what to do next.
During that period, I thought about who might be able to help me find someone. One person immediately came to mind: a childhood friend whom I love very much.
We have known each other since we were children. We met in children’s church back home, around the time my family had just moved into the first house my dad built. We were both still in primary school, and somehow that friendship stayed with us as we grew older. Even though we have different ideas about certain things in life, we have always respected each other. We talk about relationships, family, life, beauty, work and all sorts of things.
We have supported each other over the years, even from a distance. When I go back home, we make sure we see each other. She sleeps over at my house, we have gone out together, and we have stayed in touch despite living far apart. Our conversations are so healthy and happy. We talk about beautiful things, family, memories, church, life and whatever else is happening. She is genuinely someone I consider a close friend and sister.
And there is something else I realised while thinking about this situation: I have never asked her to do anything for me. Not because I don't trust her or because there is anything wrong with our friendship. I simply never had a reason to ask. If there was no need for her to do something for me, why would I ask her? It just happened that way.
Then the fencing situation came up.
I knew I needed someone back home who could supervise the work because I wasn’t there. It wasn’t a case of asking her to do the actual fencing. I needed someone who could go to the property, supervise what was happening, make sure things were progressing properly and generally keep an eye on things. Their transport would be paid, and they would also receive a salary for the period, which would probably be a month. If the job was completed before the month was up, they would still receive the full one-month's pay.
I asked my friend if she could help me find someone suitable.
She said she would.
At first, I thought nothing of it. I waited. A week passed, then another. We continued talking, but there was no conversation about the person I needed. Eventually, I brought it up myself and asked if she had managed to find anyone.
She told me she hadn't.
I said that was fine and told her to take her time, because she also works and life can get so stressful.
Later, she told me she had spoken to someone, but the person hadn't given her a definite answer. Again, I said that was fine. Then she mentioned another person who might be able to do it, although she wasn't sure whether that person would be willing to take on the supervising role.
She told me different people said they were interested but she would message me last minute and say they backed off. I told her to take her time and if she needed anything, she should let me know. I always expressed how grateful I was for the help.
Eventually, she told me she had spoken to four more persons. It was already getting to 3 months.
I remember thinking, “Okay, which one do you think is most suitable?”
She told me about one person who seemed willing to take the job and said they had agreed to everything. I told her to send the person all the necessary information.
The next step was simply to take this person to the property so they could see the location before starting.
Then the day came.