Participating in social activities has been tied to a variety of positive health effects. However, what if you do not feel at ease while you are in the company of other people?
You've probably heard it a million times: socializing is good for you. Experts are constantly telling us that an active social life is like a superfood for our brain and body, helping to lower the risk of everything from chronic diseases to dementia.
But what if you're an introvert? What if the idea of a big party makes you want to pull the covers over your head and hide? Trust me, I get it. The pressure to be "social" can feel overwhelming.
But here’s the good news: you don't have to be the life of the party to reap the benefits. It turns out, even small moments of connection can make a huge difference.
The Surprising Power of Social Connection
For us introverts, solitude is the happy place. But without even realizing it, we can suffer from the side effects of isolation. According to Dr. Richard Schwartz from Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital, humans are social by nature, and we thrive when we connect with others, even just for a few minutes.
Here’s the part that might surprise you: A recent study found that highly introverted people actually reported higher levels of happiness after socializing than their extroverted friends. Even if they thought they wouldn't enjoy it, the positive effects were real.
It’s important to remember that being an introvert is not the same as having social anxiety. If you feel fearful or panicked about leaving the house to be social, it's a good idea to talk to a mental health professional.
Finding Your Social Sweet Spot
Dr. Schwartz says we don't know exactly how much socializing is enough, but he recommends finding your own comfort zone and making it a regular part of your life. The key is to start small and build from there.
Here are a few ways to get started:
- Start with a familiar face. Has it been a while since you've talked to an old friend? Reach out! Chances are, they’d love to reconnect, and since you already know them, you can skip the awkward small talk of meeting someone new.
- Learn something new with others. Join a class at a community center or a local college. This allows you to focus on the activity itself rather than feeling pressured to talk. You can choose when and how much you want to socialize.
- Make it a routine. For many people, spontaneous plans can feel daunting. Try setting up a standing date—a weekly coffee chat with a friend or a monthly group dinner. When it becomes part of your routine, it can feel less overwhelming.
- Be the host. If going out is too much, invite people over. Having a small group for dinner or a game night puts you in control of the environment. You decide the vibe and the level of interaction, which can make things feel less overstimulating.
- Find your people. Join a group based on a hobby you love, like a walking club, a book group, or a volunteering organization. It’s so much easier to connect with people who already share your passions.
- Socialize solo. This might sound like a contradiction, but it works. Go to a baseball game, a movie, or the theater. You're around other people, which can make you feel connected, but you have the power to decide if you want to interact. Sometimes, just being in the company of others is enough.
So, the next time you feel that pressure to socialize, remember: you don't have to change who you are. Just a little bit of social connection can go a long way in keeping you healthy and happy.
When I was younger I was extremely social, especially in the art world, world wide. As I am older I don't need all of that social drama. I have a small group of friends that I do things with. But with the temperature of things in the US. I'd rather be home.
ReplyDeleteThat makes a lot of sense. It’s natural for our social needs to change over time. Having a smaller, trusted circle can be far more fulfilling than trying to maintain a wide network, especially when the outside world feels overwhelming.
DeleteI much prefer being alone but try very hard to get out and socialise with my friends. I could very easily become a recluse if I didn't make an effort to catch up with friends.
ReplyDeleteYou’re not alone in that, many introverts feel the same way. Making the effort to connect, even in small doses, can make a big difference for your mood and well-being. It’s great that you’re intentional about keeping in touch with friends; those moments, even if brief, help maintain balance and prevent isolation.
DeleteGracias por los consejos. A veces soy un poco introvertida. Te mando un beso.
ReplyDeleteYou’re very welcome. Even a little introversion is perfectly natural, and finding small ways to connect on your own terms can make socializing feel much easier and more enjoyable.
DeleteDear Melody, Thanks for the great post! The older I get, the more communicative I become.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It’s interesting how that happens, sometimes with age, we become more comfortable in our own skin and more willing to reach out. Even small interactions can feel richer and more rewarding as we grow older.
DeleteIntrovert me had coffee with two extrovert friends today. It was good. We shouldn’t do tis more often. 😜
ReplyDeleteThat’s wonderful to hear. Even a single coffee can be surprisingly energizing and uplifting. Sometimes a small, occasional connection is all it takes to feel that social boost without overwhelming yourself.
DeleteVery beautiful post thank you
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words.
DeleteMuito boa leitura. Socializar faz muito bem. Grata. Bjs.
ReplyDeleteI’m glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteAs I'm an introvert as well as a highly sensitive person to whom socializing doesn't come easy, your post was very welcome indeed! xxx
ReplyDeleteBeing both introverted and highly sensitive can make socializing feel overwhelming, but even small, intentional connections on your own terms can bring meaningful benefits without draining your energy.
DeleteTo be honest, I don't know if I belong to the introverted or extroverted category, probably a combination of both. I enjoy meeting friends and doing new things, but I don't always need company; over the years I have learned to be fine on my own. However, your suggestions are very helpful for both personalities!
ReplyDeleteThat’s a very healthy approach. Many people are a mix of both sometimes called ambiverts and recognizing when you need social interaction versus solitude is key.
DeleteInteresting. I am somewhat introverted, although I like to be around other people at times. I don’t like hosting anything. The few times that I have hosted a group outside of my family were extremely stressful and not particularly successful.
ReplyDeleteThat makes perfect sense. Hosting can be particularly draining for introverts, even when the group is small. The key is to focus on social activities that feel comfortable and manageable for you, like meeting friends outside the home or joining low-pressure group activities, so you can enjoy connection without the stress.
DeleteI am one of those introverts and throughout my career in public relations and broadcasting, I was thrust into a public role. A couple of things really helped me. First, my theatre training. I was able to mentally put myself into the role of being who I was "supposed" to be in that situation. Part of that included going up to people and starting the conversation instead of waiting for them to come to me, though that happened a lot, too. The other thing that helped was remembering the basic tenets of journalism -- asking questions out of the gate that were open ended. They didn't have to be aggressive or "snoopy" but just sharing interest. "What brings you here today?" "Have you tried the guacamole?" (OK, that's a yes-no, but it can launch a conversation.) Or start with a compliment. Or, "Where are you from?" and when they say, "I've never been there. What would be something I'd love to see or do?" (if you haven't.) Or, "I was there a few years ago and was so impressed with the ________." It's very easy to trigger a conversation when people think you are interested in them. And guess what? You might find that you really are!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing those insights. They’re excellent strategies. Using theatre training to step into a role and applying open-ended questions from journalism is such a practical way for introverts to navigate social situations without feeling overwhelmed. It’s a great reminder that even small, genuine expressions of interest can spark meaningful connections, and sometimes we discover we enjoy those interactions more than we expected.
DeleteUnos buenos consejos estos que nos dejas, pero en ocasiones lo que mas deseas es aislarte en especial de algunas personas.
ReplyDeleteSaludos.
Absolutely. That’s a very natural feeling. Even when socializing has benefits, it’s perfectly fine to set boundaries and take space from people or situations that feel draining. The key is balancing those moments of solitude with small, meaningful connections that leave you feeling refreshed rather than depleted.
DeleteGreat tips. I think going solo to a concert can be great for introverted people. They can be around people but still choose whether or not to interact.
ReplyDeleteI also noticed that many people mix up two terms- introvert and social anxiety/paranoia. They are not the same and it is good you have pointed it out.
A lot of people on the Internet describe themselves as introverts but when I listen to them or read their comments to me it sounds like either mild or severe social anxiety.
Additional problem is that the Western society is very materialistic and it often isolates its members (consumers) because people don't bond the way they used to or socialize as often. Everyone is in pursuit of buying things they don't need or trying to achieve the coveted 'success' i.e. material success.
Moreover, some people don't have developed social skills. Sometimes these people were raised by anti-social parents, so they need to learn how to be social all on their own. I imagine it must be hard. Most people gain basic social skills in their families, but when families aren't social, it is hard to know how to make friends and so on.
You’ve made several very insightful points. You’re right about the distinction between introversion and social anxiety; it’s important for people to recognize that being introverted is a personality trait, not a disorder. Mislabeling anxiety or paranoia as introversion can make it harder for someone to seek support when they need it. Your observations about modern society and materialism are also spot-on. When social bonds are replaced by consumer culture or the pursuit of “success,” people can feel isolated, and it’s easy to see why meaningful connection becomes rare and more valuable. Not everyone grows up in a social environment that fosters these skills, so some people do need to learn them intentionally as adults. Thank you so much for pointing this out.
DeleteAlso, I want to add that I learned from your comment and it's something I discussed with my partner. I am glad you commented since I get to share a post about it. Thank you again.
Deletecreo que actualmente debido a los avances tecnológicos la gente en general sean extrovertidos e introvertidos socializa a través de las redes sociales por internet; incluso a través de la inteligencia artificial a quien considera "su amigo (ga)" y hay además, el (la) que se quiere casar con él (ella).
ReplyDeletehay personas que están acompañadas y sin embargo están pegadas al aparato para leer al instante lo que una persona que está distante le envía prescindiendo de lo que están en su entorno.
los niños y adolescentes socializan en sus centros de estudio y cuando juegan lo hacen en línea. ya muchos no juegan en la calle como antes.
creo que el problema ya no pasa por ser antisociales, sino por estar tan hiperconectados con el mundo en general que llegamos a tener problemas de conducta con el que está al lado porque terminamos ignorando su presencia.
un abrazo.
You’ve captured such an important shift in how we connect today. Technology has given us incredible ways to stay in touch, but it can also create distance from the very people right beside us. Remembering to look up from the screen and truly engage with the people around us may be one of the most valuable forms of “socializing” in our time.
DeleteI know! I am an introvert, too. I much prefer one on one connection with other people. Big groups totally stress me out…ugh.
ReplyDeleteYou’re definitely not alone in that. One-on-one connections can be far more fulfilling and less overwhelming for introverts, allowing for deeper, more meaningful conversations without the stress of large groups. It’s all about finding the settings where you feel comfortable and can truly enjoy yourself.
DeleteЯ скорее интроверт. И я люблю в одиночестве посещать выставки, путешествовать, ходить на прогулку, в магазин, в театр. А для того, чтобы общаться, мне очень помогает блог. Он даёт возможность общаться тогда, когда на это есть энергия и желание, и в то же время ни к чему не обязывает.
ReplyDeleteКак-то читала, что интроверты и экстраверты отличаются не способностью и предпочтением к активному или пассивному общению, а именно способом восстановления, наполнения. Когда человек отдыхает и наполняется - в одиночестве или наоборот в шумной компании берёт энергию.
That’s a wonderful perspective, and you’ve expressed it beautifully. rest.
DeleteThat's really a great post about the importance of socializing. We've to stay in touch.
ReplyDeleteBut why forced yourself being sociable when you just want to be alone? One could be forced once, twice...but forever?
ReplyDeleteGood tips.
ReplyDelete