Will I ever be half as good as my Dad? Deep midnight thoughts

There are moments when we feel like we are not doing enough, this feeling comes in different ways, sometimes you feel you are not getting enough results from what you are doing, you deserve better or the stage of life where you are, at the moment you should have gone past this stage.

This brings me to reason why I share real feelings on my website, because we can all relate to it. Sometimes blogging makes people forget that I have a life and face normal life struggles. I don't blame them, when all they see are fancy dresses, shoes, bags and great collaborations. I am one person who is very ambitious and from time to time, I get so emotional about my struggles, thinking I deserve more and I break down. Tears never solves the issues, I just feel some kind of relief after crying. I reflect on a lot of things, how far I have come and I grateful and thankful to God even in the midst of my sadness.

Nevertheless, I break down sometimes, really down. I feel tired, sometimes I can't find that fighter, I have to encourage myself, I have to keep pushing, I think of the bigger picture which I already painted, and I speak to myself.
I just want to encourage anyone having the same feelings, thinking life is like a Merry-go-round at the moment. Look deep and you will see the growth. It might not always be as fast as you want or wish for but as time goes on you will look back and see how far you have come and be thankful.

Believe me success can be felt, greatness can be made and one thing I am sure of is that, this year has taught me a lot, I have cried, I have felt deep pains in my heart, I have grown a lot, and I never forget to always keep pushing. Whenever I fall in my business or in any area of my life, no one is looking but I quietly raise up and keep pushing even stronger.

On Wednesday midnight breaking Thursday last week, I was about posting an article (5 tips to collaborate successful with brands), I started feeling some kind of way. I knew my body is being overworked, and I needed some rest which I could not get due to the shoots I needed to do for the brand I travelled over to work for. That feeling of fear came again, I never want to be a failure, will I ever be as good as my Dad?.  

I have very big dreams which doesn't sound unreal sometimes. My heart was very heavy when I wrote this post but I am a fighter and I will keep pushing. My parents did so much for me and I don't want them to ever leave this world without getting much more from me. I want to make them proud, they might not need my money or gifts because they still see me as that little girl but the fulfillment that comes with being grown and making them happy just keeps coming to my heart every moment.

I have taken this burden and fear to God and he has taken care of it. Just in case you are feeling this way in any area of your life remember God is everything.Take it to him and he will give you inner peace and take control of everything. I sometimes think I am being ungrateful, because so far this year has been one of my most successful years of blogging financially. From one magazine to the other, interviews, appearing on fashion television stations, to having a very high sell of my photos and posters from all over the world. I am just being a human being when I get sober and wish for much more.

Do you get emotional over your struggles? how do you handle it?