If you read my previous article, "The Silent Helper," you might remember how so many of you poured your hearts out in the comments because you related to it. For a long time, I told myself, "I'm just being helpful. I'm not a people pleaser." But when I stopped being the Silent Helper, I had to face a sad, uncomfortable truth: I was absolutely people-pleasing. Part of growing up is having those brutally honest conversations with yourself and then sharing what you’ve learned to help someone else.
I also used to be a massive overthinker. Before sending a simple "Hi, how are you?" message, I would obsess: Is it too informal? Is it respectful? What if they don’t reply—did I offend them? It’s a mental cage. You aren't actually living; you're just surviving in a state of self-inflicted torture.
And then there is the trap of waiting for permission. Back in my university days, I never really drank alcohol. I’d tell my friends I hated the taste, and we’d laugh about it. But one night at a restaurant for a birthday, a girl walked up, put her hands on my shoulders, and yelled, "Let's go, let's go, time for shots!" Even though I’d been debating all night whether I wanted to drink, I just went with it. I still have a crystal-clear mental picture of that moment. I didn't want to do it, but the pressure chose for me.
The one pattern I don’t struggle with is the fear of starting. I’m completely fine with starting and ending things; I just want to keep moving in the right direction. But if you recognize yourself in any of these other patterns—the overthinking, the people-pleasing, the silent helping—then we need to talk about Poppy Delbridge's book.

Poppy Delbridge is a powerhouse. She used to be a high-flying senior Warner Bros. creative executive, named "one of the most powerful women in TV" by Glamour. But behind the scenes, she hit a brutal wall of burnout, chronic fatigue, and health crises. It forced her to realize a fundamental truth: you cannot outperform a depleted nervous system. She completely pivoted her life to master energy psychology, somatic healing, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Today, she’s a Global Ambassador for the mental health charity Mind, the founder of House of Possibility, and the pioneer of Rapid Tapping®—a science-backed technique that helps rewrite emotional patterns in real time. Her work is trusted by Fortune 100 executives and major brands because it bridges the gap between modern neuroscience and rapid mindset shifts.
Her book, Unlock Your Power: A Seven-Step System to Transform Your Mindset and Create Change That Lasts, is a masterclass in behavioral psychology. It isn't a collection of vague, feel-good quotes. Poppy lays out a highly structured, seven-step system designed to target the exact subconscious loops that dictate our daily behavior. The book explains how our brains develop safety mechanisms during childhood to keep us accepted and loved. Over time, these mechanisms harden into "limits"—invisible ceilings that quietly block us from speaking up, setting boundaries, or taking big leaps. Poppy uses a blend of neuroscience and physical somatic tools, like her signature tapping, to help you physically discharge stress and rewire how your brain responds to pressure. It is designed to take you out of defensive autopilot and put you back in active control of your life.
To give you a real taste of how this book actually operates in real life, I've broken my experience down into four distinct phases:
Why you should pick up this book. If you are tired of the exhausting tug-of-war between my ambition and your habit of saying "yes" to protect other people's feelings, you will realize that your silence wasn't actually "helping" anyone; it was just keeping you trapped in a loop of overthinking and resentment. You need a concrete, science-backed framework to help you understand why you kept volunteering for things that drained you and how to stop doing it without feeling consumed by guilt.
Three lessons that will genuinely make you stop and think. First, Poppy explains that playing small isn't a personal failure; it is your subconscious mind running an outdated safety program. That blew my mind because it took away the shame of my people-pleasing. Second, she introduces the concept of the "limit," which refers to the maximum amount of success, visibility, or peace that your nervous system currently feels safe holding. If you try to push past it without regulating your body first, you will subconsciously self-sabotage to get back to "safe" territory. Third, she emphasizes that boundaries are not selfish acts of exclusion; they are honest declarations of what you need to stay healthy and functional.
One habit I'm changing, you should too. The biggest habit I am actively changing is my response time to requests. Instead of giving an immediate, knee-jerk "Yes, of course!" to prove my worth or keep the peace, I now practice a mandatory pause. I tell people, "Let me check my schedule and get back to you." This small physical delay gives my nervous system time to settle, allowing me to make a conscious decision based on my actual capacity, rather than reacting from a place of people-pleasing panic.
Would I recommend it? Here's who I think should read it. I recommend this book. But let's be clear: the book isn't for people who just want passive, feel-good validation. It is for the over-committed, the overthinkers, and the silent helpers who are tired of their own excuses. If you are someone who knows you are capable of a bigger, more impactful life but keep finding yourself paralyzed by what other people might think, this book is your practical toolkit to finally break those invisible loops.
Now, I want to open this up to you in the comments. Where are you currently keeping yourself small? Do you find yourself trapped in that silent helper loop, saying yes when everything inside you is screaming no? Or are you struggling with the kind of overthinking that makes you double-guess every text you send? Let's have an honest conversation about the patterns we are ready to break below.


I stopped reading this kind of chicken soup books long time ago :-)) Love that last picture of you..radiant, beautiful and so close to the nature.
ReplyDeleteReading with great interest. Yes, I know it's necessary ‘To slow down a gear’ from time to time... does this idiom even exist in the English-speaking world!? Well, the idea is to take things slowly.
ReplyDeleteGreetings by Heidrun ❤️
This book is not for me. I am not overthinker. :) Surely
ReplyDeleteMelody, you wrote an interesting post about an interesting book. Greetings!
ReplyDeleteI don't read self help but I can feel the power from your post! I know you've got it. :)
ReplyDeleteI still fight with overthinking. And with saying "Yes" to everything....
ReplyDeleteSounds interesting. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteParece muy interesante. Aunque no es mi tipo de libro. Tomó nota. Te mando un beso.
ReplyDeleteEven if someone who isn't ready for this information reads the book, it may dawn on them later. Thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing. great book and useful content indeed. i hope i can read some self-help/motivation book too
ReplyDeleteMelody- Thank you for this really good review. It sounds like a book that I could really benefit from especially since you say she gives you step by step ways to change. I like the idea of saying, let me check my schedule instead of an immediate yes.
ReplyDeleteHow interesting. I do believe I'm too old/aged to be concerned about what is written in this book. However, the book sound ok, Melody.
ReplyDelete謝謝推介.
ReplyDeleteHow many times have we said yes to invitations we weren’t interested in just to avoid being left out, only to come home feeling even more unsatisfied than before? I myself have said yes to things I didn’t care about, but now if something doesn’t really interest me, I say no without any problem, and I don’t even get offended when others say no (if it’s always me who mediates and finds a compromise, then there’s an underlying problem). Because honestly, saying no is liberating for us! And the book in question definitely seems really interesting!!!
ReplyDeleteMe parece una buena reseña y estoy de acuerdo que en ocasiones hay que decir basta y parar.
ReplyDeleteSaludos.
ReplyDeleteThere are many reasons why one might not be ready to hold off on saying "yes" right away. That is why I find the book interesting. Perhaps it contains an "aha" moment that can spark something within us, helping us find a better path.
Lot's to think about here, Melody! Thank you! I need to post this on my bathroom mirror: ""Let me check my schedule and get back to you." After a lifetime of overcommitment, I want to be carefree. 😂. I hope that you are having a great week! Take care!
ReplyDeletePues sí, es frecuente que nos compliquemos la vida sin necesidad... A veces, es de sabios decir no. A veces es de sabios tener mala memoria y ol vidar muchas cosas...
ReplyDeleteUn saludo, amiga
...your attitude determines your altitude
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. I don’t think that I say “Yes” too often at this time in my life. I probably did when I was in a close relationship. I just got tired of arguments whenever I said no. Some people think that just because you are good natured, they can push you around.
ReplyDelete¡Hola, Melody! Pues es una reflexión interesante, ya que a veces no nos paramos a pensar el motivo por el que solemos ceder con otras personas. En mi caso, no soy de decir que "sí" siempre, pero sí que mido muchos mis palabras porque no quiero que nadie se tome a mal lo que digo. Además, vivimos en una sociedad en la que parece que cualquiera se puede ofender por cualquier nimiedad, y eso a algunos nos hace contenernos a la hora de opinar.
ReplyDeleteNo conocía el libro que mencionas, pero me alegra que le hayas visto aspectos positivos.
¡Saludos y buena entrada! ;-)
I haven't read the book but it seems very useful, especially to younger women. Along the way I learned to say 'no' and at first it wasn't comfortable. With practice it becomes easier and the delay method you mention really does work. It's good to let people know you have certain boundaries or limits and it isn't unreasonable to say you'd like to check your schedule. Even if you don't have something specifically planned for the same time frame, I've learned it's quite okay and very necessary to build in your own buffers for rest and other things between commitments. So glad you found the book and that it's helping you.
ReplyDeletemerci pour ton gentil com bonne journee gros bisous
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a very useful book with loads of practical applications. I really needed it about ten or fifteen years ago. I'm pretty good at "no" now!
ReplyDelete🌈🌞 ✨🙌🍀✨️🌟Thank you for this heartfelt reflection, Melody. I think we've all, at some point, said "yes" when we really wanted to say "no." It's not easy to change those habits, but becoming aware of them is already the beginning of transforming them. Thank you for sharing a book that invites us to know ourselves better. I wish you a wonderful weekend!🌸🌈 🌞 Big hugs
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a really interesting read. Based on your review, it is powerful, meaningful, and potentially life changing. I definitely need to add it to my wish list!
ReplyDeleteLeitura bem interessante e reflexiva! Grata.
ReplyDelete