IT'S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH! 🥂 CELEBRATING ALL JUNE LONG! ♡ MY BIRTHDAY POST WENT LIVE ON JUNE 10TH! 🌟 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! ✨
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH! 🥂 CELEBRATING ALL JUNE LONG! ♡ MY BIRTHDAY POST WENT LIVE ON JUNE 10TH! 🌟 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! ✨
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH! 🥂 CELEBRATING ALL JUNE LONG! ♡ MY BIRTHDAY POST WENT LIVE ON JUNE 10TH! 🌟 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! ✨

Friday, June 12, 2026

The Price of Pretty by Alex Light: Beauty Standards and Social Media Pressure

The Price of Pretty by Alex Light: Beauty Standards, Social Media Pressure, Cosmetic Surgery Culture and Modern Feminine Identity

When I saw the title of this book, I was not so sure what to expect, but when I got to know more about it, I was in total, absolute wow. She spoke my mind totally.

I am one person who thinks I am beautiful enough. I am okay, and whatever beauty standard you bring to me, I take it at facial value. But let’s be real: not everyone has the ability to do so. This book focuses heavily on women, and I want to start by saying that societal beauty standards have not only caused pain, deaths, envy, and low self-esteem—they have also caused deep, bitter clashes between women. The expectations are endless. And now, if you notice, men are already getting dragged into the social facial standards of makeup, skincare, and Botox, too.

As you read on, you will get to know more about this book and exactly why your niece, your nephew, or the people around you desperately need to read it. I urge you to add this book to your Christmas gift list or wishlist right now. Please, gift someone this book. It doesn't matter whether they are a male or a female—just buy it and gift it. It will go a very long way.

The Reality We Are Living In

Over the years, people have constantly complained about being judged solely by how beautiful they look. I previously wrote a post about how wigs are actively affecting the self-esteem of Black women, and if you haven’t read that post yet, please do. It is coming from a place of pure reality.

I am a lady who loves her hair. I love my natural hair and everything about it because it is mine, and God gave it to me. I love it, and I am completely content. I love the texture—I mean, I love me. But I have had people who have been totally deceived by the beauty standards of society try to project those exact warped standards onto me.

I remember going to events with my natural hair, and another woman literally asked me if I wasn't going to "dress up." When I asked her what she meant, she straight-up said, "You haven't worn your wig." I told her flatly that I wouldn’t be wearing any wig. She then had the nerve to say, "Your look would have been more beautiful with a wig." I promise you, I wouldn’t have looked nearly as genuine or good, but that’s the power of perspective.

I also had a friend who started doing Botox. Honestly, I think it’s completely unnecessary, but hey, that’s her choice. She is already beautiful, and I personally feel the urge is just coming from immense social pressure to look a certain, rigid way. Everywhere you turn these days, you see women looking so completely unlike themselves. Their lips are swollen with filler injections, and their faces are frozen as hard as bone from Botox. They look strange, but society has successfully brainwashed them into believing it's a "beauty trend."

Remember when Jeff Bezos got engaged to Lauren Sánchez, and she was all over the news? I remember people analyzing her face all over social media, talking about how the "new rich" statement is to show you did Botox, but just the right amount of Botox. I watched a video of a lady on Instagram breaking it down. Listen, I am not one to say Botox is inherently wrong—it is ultimately all about personal choice. But the side effects? They are absolutely not worth it. Plus, let's be honest: people look downright strange with it. Those over-swollen lips look like they are under so much pressure they could pop at any second. People end up looking like they are sick or just got out of an accident with puffy, swollen faces. Very few—and I mean very few—ever manage to appear natural.

I have friends who own mountains of beauty products. They have intense 10-step routines, and half the stuff they buy, they never even get around to using. They just keep buying and buying, and it is honestly so sad.

Now, as a Black woman, let me tell you about something I have personally experienced. In our community, the Black beauty standards have put wigs right at the very top of the list. A Black woman with straight, silky hair is suddenly viewed in her workplace as "sophisticated" and "posh." You all are so carnal and funny! Like, do you not know there are different, beautiful hair textures? Meanwhile, a woman who proudly loves her natural curls is judged completely differently. If you aren't a Black woman, you might not fully get this, but I hope you understand the weight of that statement. I see some Black women waking up incredibly early just to struggle with their wigs to appear a certain way for society. Hell no. Never. Not me. I absolutely cannot. I am entirely too enough for that nonsense. If you don't like what you see when you look at me, move forward. Keep going, sir or ma'am—we do not entertain that insecurity here.

The beauty industry has completely weaponized beauty and sold it back to women. People are undergoing completely unneeded plastic surgeries, spending fortunes, and racking up massive loans just to look a certain way. Then, you see them suffering horrible, painful complications that they deeply regret—all because they couldn't just be content with who they were.

Just the other day, I was at work, and like always, I looked good. A woman commented, "You look like a model." Right then, I could see another girl in the room was visibly not okay with it. The look on her face changed instantly. I could tell she desperately wanted that exact compliment because it was written all over her. The sheer, frantic effort she put into her appearance the next time we were in a meeting totally changed. These standards have stripped away people's contentment. Women are constantly, exhaustingly looking for the next product to fix skin that is already perfectly clear.

Man, writing this particular post is exhausting because, hell no, why is anyone telling us how to look? Why? Who are you to decide? No way. When you actually sit down to read this book, you will find out that the beauty industry has not only weaponized standards to force women into spending and spending, but they have also designed the system so that women see each other as the ultimate enemy.

Weaponized Envy: How the Industry Makes Women Enemies

Let’s expose the sickest tactic the beauty industry uses: they profit off women hating each other.

The multibillion-dollar beauty machine doesn't just want your money; it thrives on your envy. By constantly promoting an impossible, narrow, and ever-shifting ideal of "perfection," the industry creates an artificial scarcity of worth. They make women feel like there is only a limited amount of validation to go around. If another woman gets a compliment—like the girl at my workplace—it triggers an immediate panic in others, making them feel like they are failing.

We have been conditioned to view every other woman not as a sister, but as a direct competitor in a ruthless pageant we never asked to join. When you see another woman, the industry has trained your brain to instantly scan her, critique her, and compare her skin, her hair, her body, and her age to your own. This isn't accidental. If women are busy competing with each other, tearing each other down, and rushing to buy the next 10-step skincare line or booking the next filler appointment out of pure insecurity, we aren't looking at the real predator: the industry itself. They have turned our natural desire for community into a weapon of isolation, forcing us to spend our hard-earned money just to stay armed in a war against our own selves.

This is exactly where Blac Chyna (Angela White) serves as a massive wake-up call for our generation. For years, she was the poster child for extreme, unnatural cosmetic modifications—massive fillers, extreme scaling, and heavy facial alterations. But when she made the conscious choice to stop the Botox and dissolve her fillers, the transformation was staggering. She suddenly looked soft, vibrant, beautiful, and infinitely better. Her journey exposed the lie we've been fed: the industry doesn't make you look better; it makes you look synthetic. It robs you of your softness and replaces it with a rigid, manufactured mask.

The reality of these cosmetic "trends" is a trail of broken bank accounts and severe medical complications. We hear about the glitz, but we don't talk enough about the botched filler migrations, the necrotic skin tissue from poorly injected needles, the permanent nerve damage, and the dangerous infections from sketchy, low-cost plastic surgeries. Women are literally going into deep financial debt, taking out high-interest loans, and over-buying products they don't need, all to chase a look that will be out of style by next season. It is a massive, exhausting waste of human potential.

Have you ever heard people say, "Invest in your looks"?

Well, let me break down what that means for a lot of people today.

In today's beauty culture, "investing in your looks" often means getting cosmetic procedures, especially a BBL, which stands for Brazilian Butt Lift. This procedure has become one of the most talked-about beauty trends in the world. The crazy thing is that it is also considered one of the riskiest cosmetic surgeries available. People have literally lost their lives from complications related to BBL procedures, yet the demand continues to grow every single year.

The big butt trend is everywhere.

You see it on Instagram. You see it on TikTok. You see it in music videos. You see it in celebrity culture. Everywhere you turn, the message seems to be the same: bigger butt, smaller waist, bigger breasts, more attention.

Many young women are being sold a dream.

The dream says that if you get the "perfect body," life will become easier. Men will notice you. Opportunities will come your way. You'll get gifts. You'll get attention. You'll get followers. You'll get access to places and people that might have ignored you before.

Instead of being encouraged to invest thousands into a business, a skill, education, property, or a long-term plan, some women are being told that the quickest investment is their body.

And should I tell you the truth?

For some women, it actually works.

Yes, it does.

Some women get a BBL and suddenly their social media explodes. Men spend money on them. Expensive gifts start showing up. Their following increases. They gain influence. Some find wealthy partners. Some build careers around their appearance. Some have men wrapped around their fingers simply because they fit the beauty standard that society is currently obsessed with.

Let's be honest about that.

There are women who have benefited financially from having what many call a "hot body."

That is one reason why the trend continues.

People see the success stories.

They see the luxury bags.

They see the vacations.

They see the designer clothes.

They see the attention.

What they often don't see is the cost behind it.

And this is where the conversation gets uncomfortable.

There have been reported stories and allegations about women taking loans to pay for cosmetic surgery, including BBL procedures. Not all of these stories are verified, and they certainly do not represent every woman who gets cosmetic surgery. However, reports and discussions online have described situations where some women allegedly borrowed money from individuals rather than traditional lenders.

According to these reported stories, some of those arrangements later became exploitative.

The women were allegedly expected to repay the money through relationships, transactional sex, or other activities arranged by the people who funded the surgery. Some reports describe individuals acting as pimps or traffickers who profit from the women's appearance after the surgery has been completed.

Again, these are reported stories and allegations that have circulated in various communities and discussions, not something that happens to everyone who gets a BBL.

But if even a fraction of these stories are true, it shows how dangerous the obsession with beauty can become.

Imagine borrowing money to change your body.

Then imagine owing someone who expects much more than money in return.

Some women have reportedly found themselves trapped in situations they never expected. Some have allegedly gone from one man to another in an effort to repay debts. Others have reportedly experienced physical health issues, emotional trauma, sexually transmitted infections, or long-term complications from both the surgery and the lifestyle they felt pressured into.

Meanwhile, social media rarely shows any of that.

It shows the body.

It shows the photos.

It shows the luxury.

It rarely shows the recovery room.

It rarely shows the infections.

It rarely shows the depression.

It rarely shows the debt.

It rarely shows regret.

Now let's talk about celebrities because we cannot ignore the role they have played in shaping modern beauty standards.

For years, celebrities, influencers, reality television stars, and public figures have helped create and popularize the image of the ideal body. Whether they openly discuss their procedures or not, many have contributed to normalizing surgically enhanced appearances.

Millions of people watch them.

Millions copy them.

Millions compare themselves to them.

Young girls grow up looking at these images and start believing that success, beauty, love, attention, and money are attached to a certain body shape.

And before you know it, someone is willing to borrow £30,000, £40,000, or even more just to achieve that look.

Think about that for a second.

Imagine having access to £40,000.

Years ago, many people would have used that money to start a business, buy equipment, invest in property, pursue higher education, or create something that could generate income for years.

Today, some people are putting that same money into changing their appearance.

Why?

Because society has convinced them that their body is the investment with the highest return.

That is a powerful form of conditioning.

When millions of people repeatedly see the same beauty standard being rewarded with attention, money, followers, gifts, and status, they start believing that following that path is the smartest move available.

But beauty trends change.

They always have.

The body type being celebrated today may not be the body type being celebrated ten years from now.

What happens then?

The business you build can still earn money.

The skills you learn can still create opportunities.

The education you gain can still open doors.

The investments you make can still grow.

But trends come and go.

The saddest part is that many young women are growing up believing their body is their greatest asset when their intelligence, creativity, ambition, skills, discipline, and ideas may be worth far more in the long run.

This isn't about judging women who choose cosmetic surgery.

People have the right to make decisions about their own bodies.

This is about asking bigger questions.

Why are so many people willing to risk their health for a trend?

Why are some willing to go into massive debt for a look?

Why are we celebrating appearance more than achievement?

Why are some young people being taught to invest in their bodies before investing in their futures?

Things are happening.

And sometimes it feels like we are watching an entire generation being convinced that the fastest route to success is changing what they look like, rather than building what they know.

That conversation is worth having.

And this is why I always laugh when people act like today's beauty trend is permanent.

Do you remember the brunch era?

I do.

There was a time when brunch was practically an epidemic. If you weren't going to brunch with a friend or a circle of influencers, social media made it seem like your life wasn't exciting enough, classy enough, or successful enough.

Everywhere you looked it was "Get Ready With Me for Brunch." hahahahahahahaha

Brunch this.

Brunch that.

Bottomless brunch.

Luxury brunch.

Girls' brunch.

Sunday brunch.

And I used to sit there wondering, when exactly did eating a sandwich and drinking tea suddenly become a personality?

People were spending £30, £40, and sometimes even more just to sit in a restaurant, take photos, and convince strangers online that they were living their best lives.

Now don't get me wrong. Some people genuinely enjoy brunch, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But during that trend, many people weren't doing it because they loved brunch.

They were doing it because everyone else was doing it.

They were doing it because social media told them it was the thing to do.

They were doing it because they wanted the photos.

Because they wanted the aesthetic.

Because they wanted the appearance of a certain lifestyle.

And look what happened.

The trend faded.

People moved on.

Then there was the Aspen obsession.

Do you remember that one?

Suddenly it felt like everybody wanted to travel to Aspen.

Every influencer seemed to be standing in front of snow-covered mountains wearing expensive winter outfits, posing with hot chocolate, skiing gear, and luxury cabins in the background.

I remember looking at all those posts thinking, "These people really have time for this."

One minute everyone was obsessed with brunch.

The next minute everyone was obsessed with Aspen.

Then it was luxury wellness retreats.

Then it was soft life.

Then it was quiet luxury.

Then it was becoming an influencer.

Then it was becoming a content creator.

And now for many people, it's cosmetic surgery.

That's why I keep asking the same question.

What happens when the trend changes?

Because trends always change.

The same people who were spending money chasing brunch culture eventually stopped talking about brunch.

The same people chasing Aspen content moved on to something else.

And one day society will move on from today's beauty standards too.

But imagine borrowing £30,000 or £40,000 to chase a trend that may not even be popular ten years from now.

Imagine risking your health for a beauty standard that could change the same way every other trend changed.

That is why I believe people should think carefully before making major life decisions based on what is popular right now.

Social media has a way of making temporary trends feel permanent.

They are not.

The brunch trend wasn't permanent.

The Aspen trend wasn't permanent.

And today's beauty obsession won't be permanent either.

The question is whether people are building something that lasts while everyone else is busy chasing the next trend.

This brings us directly to the core of Alex Light’s groundbreaking book.


The Price of Pretty — By Alex Light

The Price of Pretty by Sunday Times bestselling author, influencer, and podcaster Alex Light is an incisive, deep-dive examination into this modern "beauty dystopia."

Following her highly successful debut book, You Are Not a Before Picture, Light takes a sharp turn away from standard individual "body positivity" and looks structurally at the toxic, multibillion-dollar beauty machine. She argues that women have been rewired to view changing, fixing, and shrinking their bodies as a full-time job.

What the Book is About (Core Details)

The book unpacks the massive toll—financial, physical, emotional, and mental—that modern beauty standards are exacting from women and young girls. Light argues that while the 2010s saw a brief wave of body positivity, we have collectively regressed into a hyper-fixation on physical perfection.

She exposes how women are caught in a relentless cycle where their worth is treated as conditional. According to Light, the "dystopia" is being fueled by a few core modern forces:

  • The Tweakment Epidemic: High-street, lunchtime cosmetic procedures (Botox, fillers, skin sculpting) are being actively marketed to younger and younger demographics under the false guise of "self-care."

  • The Rise of Weight-Loss Drugs: The explosion and normalization of GLP-1 medications (like Ozempic) and endless red-carpet endorsements have aggressively brought the "ultra-thin/heroin chic" standard back into dominant culture.

  • AI and Digital Filters: Inescapable AI-generated imagery and face-altering social media filters are literally altering human brain chemistry, causing women to erase their real features to reach an impossible, flawlessly sculpted standard.

  • Intergenerational Toxic Messaging: The book tracks how body dissatisfaction isn't random—it is heavily passed down through generations (e.g., watching our own mothers diet or criticize their appearances) as well as societal demands for women to instantly "bounce back" after pregnancy and childbirth.

Ultimately, Light’s main thesis is simple but profound: You were never the problem in the first place. The problem is a culture that profits directly from making you feel inadequate.

How Toxic Beauty Standards Bring Women Down

Light explains that the beauty industry has successfully rebranded invasive or restrictive beauty standards as forms of empowerment, which keeps women trapped in a loop:

  • Weaponized "Self-Care": What used to be defined as rest or genuine mental health maintenance has been commodified. Now, "self-care" is used to sell anti-aging routines, skincare lasers, and body manipulation, draining women's bank accounts and energy.

  • Performing Worth: Because society rewards Eurocentric, thin, and youthful ideals, women are forced to "perform" their value through their looks. If they don't, they are subtly penalized or treated as though they are "letting themselves go."

  • The Moving Goalpost: The body trends are purposefully unsustainable. If you manage to achieve the "curvy but thin" look, the trends shift back to "ultra-thin," ensuring you will always feel the need to buy the next product or treatment.

How She Says We Can Fight Back

Alex Light structures the book not just as a complaint, but as a clarion call to take back control and rewrite the rules of beauty on our own terms. Here is how she outlines the path to fighting back:

1. Separate "Self-Care" From "Body Modification"

Light urges readers to critically examine their beauty habits. Ask yourself: Am I doing this treatment because it brings me genuine joy and comfort, or am I doing it because I am terrified of aging or gaining weight? True self-care should restore you, not require you to painfully alter or "fix" your anatomy to feel safe in public.

2. De-influence Your Feed & Re-wire Your Brain

Because AI and social media filters are deeply manipulating our perception of what human skin and bodies look like, we have to fight back digitally. Light advises aggressively curating your digital space. Unfollow accounts that make you feel like a "before picture," stop using face-altering filters that warp your actual features, and deliberately seek out unfiltered, diverse, and authentic human bodies to normalize reality in your mind.

3. Reject Intergenerational Diet Culture

We break the cycle by changing how we speak about bodies to the next generation. Light stresses the importance of stopping casual, negative body commentary—both about ourselves and other people—in front of children and friends. By refusing to participate in "diet talk" or body-shaming gossip, we starve the toxic messaging of its oxygen.

4. Recognize Who Profits

One of the most empowering psychological shifts Light teaches is to follow the money. When you look in the mirror and feel a wave of insecurity about a wrinkle, a roll, or a pore, recognize that an industry designed that insecurity so they could sell you a solution. Turning your self-doubt into righteous anger at a manipulative capitalist system makes it much easier to opt-out.

5. Reclaim Autonomy and Reframe Worth

The ultimate rebellion is establishing that your worth is non-negotiable and independent of your appearance. Light encourages women to fiercely protect their mental space and invest their time, intellect, and energy into hobbies, relationships, and goals that have absolutely nothing to do with what they look like.

Be proud of who you are, buy this book for someone you love, and let's start tearing down these toxic expectations together!

What do you think about the beauty standards of today and how women are reacting to them?

Please share this post on any of your social platforms. Thank you.

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71 comments

  1. I totally agree with you Melody.
    Black women with straightish hair look ridiculous. If only they realized. Botox looks stupid in my book. Always be natural and age gracefully.
    Trends, well there have always been trends but it's worse these days and I believe it's social media, those so called influencers. Love your little hearts. Take care.

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    1. Hi, Margaret. Thank you for being the first to comment. I personally think Black women in straight hair look beautiful. People from all backgrounds can be versatile, and sometimes we all want to switch things up.

      The point of this blog post is not about forcing people to look a certain way, live a certain way, or wear certain things. Whether it is hair, makeup, or fashion, people should stop chasing unrealistic beauty standards. The reason I used Black women as an example is because I can relate deeply to some of them believing only wigs make them look more dressed up, which is not necessarily true. These beauty standards are often marketed to keep people buying products. Some people have invested in wigs as if they are actual investments. You even hear wig vendors say, "This is a wig to invest in." At the end of the day, it is a material made of hair, and that is all it can be.

      Botox is also changing many beautiful faces, making some people look very different from their natural appearance. I want to add that choosing to get Botox remains a personal choice. However, I think it is important to create awareness about what the beauty industry is doing by encouraging women to spend huge portions of their income on beauty products. To me, that can feel like a form of mental bondage.

      Influencers have promoted a lot of these trends, but realistically, as adults, we are responsible for many of our own choices, although I understand that does not apply in every situation.

      Delete
    2. Melody, I still don't care for straightish hair for Black Woman, even if they think it's beautiful, I don't. It's more natural to me or for me to see Black Women with curly hair, that is beautiful to me - just my opinion :) Of course when White is mixed with Black that is different as one can tell - well you can down here with our Indigenous people.

      Delete
  2. Ok, I just met you, but, please, give me a hug.
    Reading this made me tear because, as a black woman who grown hating her mouth because of mean comments at school, this is so important to read.

    We are beyond beautiful and should not let anyone tell us different than that.

    Sending much love,
    Lumusiando

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Oh dear, thank you so much. This is a virtual hug from me to you. I am glad you loved the post, and I hope you explore and enjoy more beneficial blog posts in this space. I wish more women, whether from a different culture or background, could feel this way. I love myself and I love all that I was created to be. I hope more people see that these motives for looking a certain way are just a way for the beauty industry to keep milking women. They love for us to crave a certain look that they put out there, maybe every 5 years. There is a massive industry benefiting from it; it's beyond what people know. I am glad you feel much better, and please keep in mind that you are beautiful. I said so, and I know you know it. Thank you for reading.

      Delete
  3. Melody, first off...you are gorgeous! And this post is so spot on! I've been telling my husband that I'm a bit frightened every time I'm on social media and see all the botox and facelifts because one day I won't know who's who! And the huge lips that all of a sudden appear and change the entire face of someone you know. It's all so disturbing. And here's what gets me about all of it...women want to be free, they don't want to be objects, don't want to be suppressed and on and on it goes. Yet they will absolutely change their face, hair, bodies, to fit into a society they desperately say they don't need to please. Do you see the nonsense in this? Women are their own worst enemies! And since this is a post about beauty and looks...I'll throw in the new "thong" bathing suit issue. Women have tried for years to be seen as smart, intelligent, worthy, not objects - yet they will go around with their butt hanging out, their boobs advertising for everything and then want to yell that men are pigs. Make this make sense. I raised two boys and I can't tell you how many times I wanted to yank the parents of a young girl up by their collars and tell them to wake up and buy that girl some decent clothes! And now I have granddaughters and I want them to know they are beautiful, but their bodies are not to be advertised. And that they are enough. So thank you for this post. It needs to be in all the magazines for the world to read.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Debbie, thank you so much for the compliment! Take that bikini style, for instance—the kind that covers absolutely nothing but the bare minimum. I see it all over social media, where people are practically naked but call it "embracing your body." Honestly, it’s just a trend of people wanting to be seen. Why can't people wear something more covered, like the classic swimsuit styles that have always been around? Instead, they choose these micro-bikinis because the beauty industry has convinced them that this is how they need to look.

      It honestly breaks my heart to see how this trend affects teenagers. They are already dressing half-naked, thinking they have to look a certain way just to feel valued and included. On top of that, people are literally altering everything about their bodies. Our bodies shouldn't be used as advertisements, but people mask it by calling it "being comfortable in their skin." Sometimes, I wonder what kind of validation they are desperately seeking from the media. The beauty industry is entirely behind this shift, pushing the idea that "sexy" means being completely exposed.

      I sadly remember when the "Get Ready With Me" trend first started, and people were literally stripping down on camera just to show how they get dressed. It is crazy how these constant trends and toxic standards affect women.

      Thank you so much for commenting and sharing; it means a lot. I really hope people keep sharing this post, because the author completely hit the nail on the head!

      Delete
  4. Grazie della splendida recenzione lo leggerò!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you find a spare moment to look it over, please give it a read; it’s an incredibly beneficial blog post. Once you're done, don't forget to bookmark the page and save it to your favorite reads so you can easily reference it again later.

      Delete
  5. That's a great book that will help women to fight against the so called "beauty culture". You wrote down a very interesting review.
    Take care.

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    1. Hi Giorgio. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy day to read this. I would really appreciate it if you could share it and recommend it to others who might find it useful.

      Delete
  6. Estoy de acuerdo con todo lo que nos dices en el articulo que debemos aceptad tal como somos y no ponernos nada de todo aquello que "ciertos cánones" nos dicen es lo que es belleza, ya que la belleza esta en el interior.
    Sobre vuestro pelo creo que nos has puesto fotos con todo tipo de peinados y no me pareces mas guapa o mas fea en función del peinado. Te diré que hay una chica que puede ser mas o menos de tu edad que es abogada medioambiental de aquí que tiene un pelo igual que el tuyo. En fotos la vi con el pelo suelto y en una ocasión en persona mas o menos como lo tienes en las fotos de hoy, creo que con el pelo suelto y largo bien sea en fotos como en persona en fotos por la espalda sin verse ni un centímetro de piel no se sabría quien es la blanca o la negra.

    Saludos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree that there is real value in learning to accept ourselves as we are and not being shaped too tightly by external standards. That sense of ease with oneself tends to come through more strongly than any specific hairstyle or look. At the same time, I prefer to be careful about drawing comparisons between people based on appearance alone. Even when certain features seem similar from a distance, each person carries something distinctly their own that goes beyond what is immediately visible. What matters most to me in this discussion is that confidence and self-acceptance are not dependent on changing ourselves to fit an ideal, but on feeling at peace with who we are in everyday life.

      Delete
  7. The topic of the book is really interesting. I thought of a friend of mine, but she doesn’t know English, so I’ll have to wait for the Italian version (or check if there’s already one). But many people turn to Botox & co to reach the so-called beauty standards? Who even decides what’s beautiful and what isn’t? I mean, if you think about it, not everyone likes the same things. If you meet me, you’ll usually find me without makeup, with my hair tied back, and completely natural (I’m embracing the gray hairs that are coming in). I looked at your photos, and honestly, a wig wouldn’t change much—you have a lovely face and you look great just the way you are. But if someone feels good about themselves, that’s always a great starting point!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I completely agree that beauty is such a subjective thing, and what one person finds attractive can be very different from what someone else sees. Yet so many of us grow up surrounded by messages telling us there is only one ideal to aspire to. I really admire your approach to aging naturally and embracing your gray hair. There’s something refreshing about feeling comfortable in your own skin rather than constantly chasing an ever-changing standard.

      Thank you for the compliment. The wig discussion actually made me think a lot about identity, confidence, and the expectations placed on women. In the end, I think what matters most is exactly what you said: feeling good about yourself. That’s a much healthier foundation than trying to meet someone else’s definition of beauty.

      Delete
  8. Best wishes on your Birthday and many happy returns filled with joy, good health and whatever you desire.
    God bless.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for the birthday wishes; well appreciated.

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  9. Bella, es indudable que hay que hacer la lucha por evitar lo que llamaría encubrimiento de la identidad maxfactorizándose, o aplicándose votox, o atapándose las canas. El cuerpo hay que amarlo, eso si dándole el toque más ajustado de exorno que no v aya en la idea de ocultar, sino de resaltar lo natural. UN abrazo.Carlos desde Colombia.

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    1. The concealment of identity through cosmetic procedures: such strong words that are very powerful. I totally agree with you, Carlos.

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  10. This is a powerful post, Melody! You are so right and

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  11. Whoops! I may have published my comment before I'd finished it! This is such a powerful post, Melody! Social media seems to have all the answers on how to transform our lives and our appearance and it's just so wrong. This looks like a good book. I need to check it out.

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    1. I noticed it, but honestly, no worries at all. People choose to go to those places seeking answers, and the funny thing is that they actually want to see what is trending on social media. Nowadays, it takes a lot to look past the unrealistic beauty standards that people constantly push.

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  12. Melody, I read your article with great interest. I read it slowly and twice. I agree 100% with your words about beauty, beauty, and beauty enhancement.
    I've never had plastic surgery, I don't have Botox or other fillers. I haven't had any augmentation either.
    Melody, in my opinion – exactly what you wrote: side effects, pain, every fad is fleeting, finances, but I'd add: fear.
    I don't have any tattoos either – I don't like tattoos!!!
    Melody, you wrote about hair – I have straight hair, but I really like naturally curly hair.

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    1. Hi Anna, Thank you so much for reading my article so closely and for taking the time to read it twice—that truly means the world to me! I love that you mentioned fear, because you are completely right. There is so much unspoken fear involved in these procedures, fear of it going wrong, fear of aging naturally, and the fear of not fitting in. It takes a lot of courage to just say "no" to all of it, so I really admire that you’ve chosen to embrace your natural self without the Botox, fillers, or surgeries. In a world constantly telling us to change, just being ourselves is so powerful!

      (And I'm right there with you on the hair, isn't it funny how we always want what we don't have? Straight hair is beautiful, but those natural curls definitely have their own magic!)

      Thank you again for such a thoughtful comment and for adding another important layer to the conversation. Sending you a big hug!

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  13. I love that you have a strong sense of self and feel confident in who you are both inside and out. That is a rare gift. The book sounds fantastic, especially since there is so much pressure to fit into very narrow standards of beauty. You are spot on that it is essentially a dream that people are being sold, that being beautiful and conforming to certain stereotypes will bring happiness and fulfillment. I love the fact that you have highlighted how trends come and go - and how dangerous it is to allow our faces and bodies to become a trend. This book is definitely being added to my list, especially in light of conversations I have had with friends more recently. Many of them want to get Botox and fillers. It breaks my heart, because I think they look beautiful as they are. I wish they could see themselves through my eyes! Those conversations have helped me make a decision about my own life. I don't want to get filler, Botox, or any cosmetic procedure, because I feel it is very important to learn to love who I am instead of chasing some ideal.

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    1. Beauty has always been shaped by the times, but it has never truly depended on them. What is fashionable today is often forgotten tomorrow, while character and presence remain.

      There is nothing new about pressure to alter oneself to fit an ideal. Each generation believes its standards are the final word, and each one is eventually replaced. That alone should give pause before treating trends as guidance for something as permanent as the body.

      Choosing not to pursue procedures is a settled and reasonable position if it comes from a place of clarity rather than reaction. The steadier path has always been to build comfort with oneself as time passes, rather than trying to outpace it.

      In the end, beauty is not something borrowed from outside. It is closer to how a person carries what they already have. Thank you so much for contributing. Have a nice weekend.

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  14. Boa noite minha querida irmã Melody. Seu texto é maravilhoso e muito necessário. Tem pessoas que usam Botox e ficam com seu rosto todo deformado. Sou autoestima é maravilhosa. Já sou calvo e nem ligo nem um pouco com isso. Uma excelente noite de sexta-feira e um grande abraço do seu irmão carioca.

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    1. Hi Luiz, happy weekend to you! Loving oneself is truly a wonderful gift and a great way to show appreciation for life. People often have different feelings about certain things regarding their bodies, but notwithstanding that, they can certainly make changes in a healthy way that prioritizes their protection. However, following unrealistic standards that seem to change every month is just so incredibly misleading.

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  15. I know there's a near-universal trend of trying to fix almost everything about ourselves. I also see the effects of these procedures and wonder why?
    I understand that we need to repair what's been disfigured by illness or accident, but why change a healthy body? Because others do, because it's fashionable? Fashions change, and common sense should prevail.
    I'm not a fan of such practices; I wouldn't allow myself to be injected with any chemicals. I am who I am, and I'm fine the way I am :)
    Best regards, and have a nice weekend!

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    1. The question remains: why change a healthy body? For many people, it seems to be about following a trend. Some individuals have gone under the knife more than ten times trying to fix their appearance; meanwhile, the actual issue lies inside. Some don't even bother to check if the products they use are original or fake; they just want the procedure done and don't care about anything else. The destruction the beauty industry is causing is alarming; the regulations for Botox injections simply aren't strong enough, and people are taking courses and starting to inject others like crazy. It is completely unacceptable.

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  16. I just watched a video about some women regretting having all the plastic surgeries..o man, I saw the before and after pictures, they were all natural beauties and unique before and after the operations, they looked almost the same..what a shame!

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    1. Some people will never listen; I mean, how can one be so healthy and voluntarily put themselves in danger just to change an already beautiful look? Angie, I wish more people could embrace their bodies, because beauty is truly about what comes from the inside, not just the outside alone.

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  17. thank you for this fantastycznie review! I was reading it and agreeing with evetything.

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    1. You are welcome; don't forget to share. More people need to see the article. Thank you.

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  18. Texto muito, muito interessante, minha amiga.

    Grande abraço

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  19. merci beaucoup pour ces remarques subtiles, cette analyse précise et tous les développements que vous apportez au sujet de ce livre. J'admire votre intelligence critique et la capacité qui est la votre à élargir le champ de la réflexion. J'envie votre aptitude à penser avec une telle justesse. merci pour vos commentaires qui me vont toujours droit au coeur.

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    1. Wow, I am incredibly touched by this. Thank you so much for such deeply generous and kind words! Honestly, the real magic happens in the comments section. Being able to write something and then have thinkers like you engage with it, break it down, and bring your own profound insights to the table is exactly why I do this. It’s a shared conversation, and your presence here elevates the whole discussion.

      Thank you for always reading so deeply and for bringing your heart to these posts. I appreciate you more than you know! Have a beautiful day.

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  20. A beautiful post and indeed many should read this and the book. And great to point out that plastic surgery is expensive and can be dangerous as well. Indeed beauty is not permanent I am getting old so you loose it all, but it is also freeing as than the other things you mentioned become more important.

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    1. You make a fair observation. Physical appearance always has a limited span, and time has a way of changing everyone in the same direction. That is why it is sensible to be cautious about any approach that tries to force permanence where nature does not offer it easily, including cosmetic procedures that carry both cost and risk.

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  21. Hi, Melody. This was a powerful, comprehensive, and important post. Kudos to you for being you as you are, which is beautiful by the way. I'm going to look for Alex Light's book. I decided a long time ago just to be me. I used a little mascara, a little lipstick, but little else. Now I skip the eye makeup, because I had a serious challenge with Graves Eye Disease, and only the surgical talent of an amazing neuro-ophthalmologist restored my vision. I do dye my hair though. 😂 So does my brother who's 75 to my 76. 😂 Thanks for your post and happy weekend!

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    1. Wow, what an incredible journey you've been through. To go through a serious battle with Graves' ophthalmology (the thyroid-related eye condition) and come out the other side with your vision restored is nothing short of a miracle. Kudos to that neuro-ophthalmologist, but kudos to you too for your resilience!

      Skipping the eye makeup sounds like a beautiful, practical way to love and protect your eyes after everything they’ve been through. Hey, there is absolutely no shame in the hair dye game! 😂 I love that you and your brother are rocking that together at 76 and 75—that is fantastic. I wanted to try dyeing my hair but am still thinking about it. There's a huge difference between dyeing your hair because it makes you feel vibrant and fun versus doing things because society pressured you into it. You’re doing it entirely on your own terms.

      Alex Light’s book (You Are Not a Rock) is so worth the read, just like the price of pretty. I think you’re going to love how much it validates exactly the kind of self-acceptance you’ve been practicing for years.

      Thank you so much for your sweet words and for sharing a piece of your story. I hope you and your brother have a wonderful, happy weekend!

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  22. Es duro la presión de s er perfecta. Gracias por la reseña. Te mando un beso.

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    1. It really is exhausting. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment, J.P.! Have a great weekend.

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  23. Boa noite Melody.
    Texto muito interessante e realista. Efetivamente, há muita pressão sobre a beleza feminina, particularmente. Seja nas redes sociais ou fora delas. Dá a sensação que para muita gente a beleza é apenas exterior. Esquecendo a beleza interior de cada um de nós. Em particular das mulheres.
    É de certeza um livro muito interessante.

    Excelente partilha.

    Votos de um feliz fim de semana, com tudo de bom.

    Beijinhos, com carinho e amizade.

    Mário Margaride

    http://poesiaaquiesta.blogspot.com
    https://soltaastuaspalavras.blogspot.com

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    1. Good evening, You raise an important point. There is a long history of external standards being placed on women, and modern platforms have simply amplified what already existed. When attention is placed almost entirely on appearance, it becomes easy to overlook the steadier qualities that shape a person’s character, judgment, and way of treating others. Thank you for reading. Have a lovely weekend.

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  24. Really thoughtful commentary on a subject that matters to every woman. Thanks for sharing.

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  25. Un libro particolare e una dettagliata recensione.
    Mi hai fatto venire voglia di leggerlo

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  26. Thanks for your advice, the written words mean a lot to me! Hug, Andreja!

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  27. Some people are more susceptible to influence than others, and some are intrinsically more vain.. Advertising is responsible for many people's dissatisfaction with their appearance.

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    1. You are exactly right. Advertising is built entirely on manufactured lack. It has to convince us that we are incomplete, outdated, or flawed just so it can sell us the "cure."

      When you mix that multi-billion-dollar psychological manipulation with natural human insecurities, it's a toxic recipe. Some people definitely have a harder time tuning out that noise, but the industry counts on that vulnerability to stay profitable. It’s predatory, plain and simple.

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  28. Un mundo demasiado centrado en las apariencias y la ostentación. Lamentablemente. Saludos corfiales

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    1. Short, sweet, and entirely accurate. When the world focuses on the surface, we lose sight of what actually matters.
      Best regards to you as well!

      Delete
  29. Thank you for this very insightful read Melody. I am at that age where apart from putting some cream on my face to make my skin feel more comfortable, I rarely wear any makeup except for a little lipstick when I go out, if I can remember! I do admire how you wear yours, you look absolutely gorgeous and even without make up I think. I'm not just saying that. Too often we are made to feel inferior if we don't follow the cookie cutter way of life of what others expect of us. This book sounds like a very good read. Thanks again for sharing the book and your thoughts today. I wish you a wonderful weekend.

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    1. Thank you so much for such a kind, warm comment! It completely made my day.
      There is something so incredibly freeing about reaching a point where skincare is just about comfort, and makeup is just a fun "if I remember" afterthought rather than a daily obligation. It sounds like you have found a beautiful, grounded balance, and honestly, that confidence shines brighter than any makeup ever could. The pressure to fit into that "cookie-cutter" mold is so real, but stepping away from it is the best thing we can do for our peace of mind. I'm so glad this post and the book resonated with you!

      I hope you have a truly wonderful, relaxing weekend yourself. Thank you for reading and for leaving such lovely words.

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  30. Hi Melody. Sorry I'm so late in commenting. This is a brilliant post. You are so right about how women and some men see themselves due to the "business" of beauty. I think all of us have a story of trying to "fit" in to what society deems beautiful. I sure do. Until the unrealistic photos of models become obsolete and the "mean" girls in schools become nice, (they won't) self esteem will still be lost to most. You are right about social media too. The mean girl syndrome has taken on a whole new role to the point of kids taking their own lives. Now, in the US, GLP1's are taking over. If you are just a few pounds over what the chart reads GLP1 is prescribed. Some people just can't seem to love themselves. P.S. the Black side of my family that are women all of them go natural with their hair. But not opposed wigs. Have a good day today.

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    1. It is never too late to jump in, especially with a comment as heavy-hitting and honest as this one.

      You hit the nail on the head. The beauty industry thrives on us making ourselves the enemy. Between the "mean girl" culture moving online and the relentless digital filters, the pressure starts so early now.

      You are so right about the GLP-1 weight-loss medications (like Ozempic or Wegovy). They have completely shifted the conversation. What started as a massive breakthrough for medical health has quickly been hijacked by a culture that demands everyone fit into a hyper-specific, narrow mold. The moment society dictates that a few pounds over an arbitrary chart requires medical intervention, we’ve drifted far from actual health and right back into body policing. It’s exhausting.

      Also, I love that point about the women in your family going natural with their hair but keeping wigs in the rotation. There is so much beauty in having the autonomy to rock your natural crown and use wigs as an expression of style, versatility, and fun, entirely on your own terms, not society's.

      Thank you for sharing your story and these insights. Have a wonderful day!

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  31. Hello Melody. My goodness, what an interesting post you have here. I learned things I did not know, but then, I'm a senior citizen and too practical to give in to these trends. (also, I'm okay with my God-given design and just do my best to keep it presentable)

    Some of the things people are doing these days, I was unaware. But I will say I have wondered why so many women on TV seem to have bigger lips than what seems normal. Now I know. Botox. Yes, that look, in particular, is often bordering on grotesque. It's scary.

    That, and the fake eye lashes!!! In my opinion, many of them are so long that they look completely unnatural.

    I won't go on. Thanks for this report. It was eye-opening, and certainly an interesting read.

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    1. Love your perspective, Barbara! There is so much power in being comfortable in your own skin and refusing to chase every passing trend.

      Just a quick side note since it trips many people up: those oversized lips you are seeing on TV are actually from dermal fillers (usually made of hyaluronic acid to add volume), not Botox! Botox just temporarily freezes muscles to smooth out wrinkles, whereas fillers physically plump things up. When people get too much filler, it can definitely look completely unnatural and distorted.

      Keep rocking your practical, natural look, it never goes out of style.

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  32. Such an important book and great post. Beauty standards keep on changing and it is insane the things women feel they have to to do to be beautiful. We have to start loving ourselves.

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    1. Hi, Hena. It’s a brutal cycle. We literally pay to torture ourselves for standards that are entirely made up and change every decade. The only way to win a rigged game is to stop playing. Loving yourself is the ultimate middle finger to the industry.

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