Yeah, it brings back all the memories as it marks two years since my sister left us to rest. It has been a mix of emotions. Some days are lighter than others, and some days are heavier. I know everyone hurts sometimes, but this one seems like it’s lingering—it’s not going away. She was what love stands for; she was my second mother. She was always so happy with me, but now she’s nowhere. I love her, I know, but why she stopped fighting, I didn’t know. Still, I am sure her reasons are good enough for me to accept, but her absence is not okay. No, I am not okay, as the 10th of January marked two years since she left us. I have been short of words, but tonight I got my words together.
Some days I cry, some days I smile, but how do I let go of her absence and the memories? I don’t even know how to feel sometimes—it’s all a mix of everything. If only she could speak and say, “Oh, I’m fine,” maybe I’d feel better about her absence. I miss her. We don’t talk anymore like we used to. When I call her name, I get no reply. Her voice is nowhere to be found. I don’t know how to fix this; I don’t know what to do. The tears just don’t stop.
Can someone knock on heaven's doors and tell them, Please, I miss her.
Can someone tell her that my heart is broken and I now know what a broken heart feels like? Tell her it's empty, filled with so much pain. I can't control my feelings, and I hate how I feel. When I heard her last goodbye, I died inside. I had no tears. All I want is for her to tap me on the shoulder and say, "Hey, it's fine." But will I ever get that?
Heaven, please, I have a question. All I need is an explanation. I just want to know if she’s missing me. I can’t reconcile that she’s gone in my head. When I lost energy, she was like fuel—she gave herself completely. I know I’m not asking for much, Lord—just a whisper. If her voice is gone, then a touch. But if not, then tell her that I asked for her, that I love her, and that I’m always thinking about her.
Heaven, please, I feel so all alone. She wanted life more than ever before. Heaven, please, please. Heaven, please, if I could only just have one minute to tell her how I feel. Heaven, please, I just need a moment from this lifetime to have her by my side. Heaven, please.
I was walking on the street, and it was like I saw her. But when I looked closely, it was another person. How do I shake this off? I can’t. I feel empty. How do I tell her story when she is no more? When we don’t talk anymore? She is gone forever. I will forever miss her.
Heaven, please, I have a question. All I need is an explanation. I just want to know if she’s missing me. I can’t reconcile that she’s gone in my head. When I lost energy, she was like fuel—she gave herself completely. I know I’m not asking for much, Lord—just a whisper. If her voice is gone, then a touch. But if not, then tell her that I asked for her, that I love her, and that I’m always thinking about her.
Heaven, please, I feel so all alone. She wanted life more than ever before. Heaven, please, please. Heaven, please, if I could only just have one minute to tell her how I feel. Heaven, please, I just need a moment from this lifetime to have her by my side. Heaven, please.
I was walking on the street, and it was like I saw her. But when I looked closely, it was another person. How do I shake this off? I can’t. I feel empty. How do I tell her story when she is no more? When we don’t talk anymore? She is gone forever. I will forever miss her.
Photo by Brett Sayles
Uy lo siento mucho. Es muy duro perder a alguien que amas a veces sientes que lo vas a ver y solo es un deseo. Yo invento recordar a mi seres amados y llevarlos en mi recuerdo y corazón. Te mando un beso y todo mi cariño.
ReplyDeleteYou have to believe she knows how you feel. Losing someone you love so much is very very difficult. Sending some strength your way.
ReplyDelete"Alguns dias eu choro, alguns dias eu sorrio, mas como eu deixo ir sua ausência e as memórias?"
ReplyDeleteBoa noite de sábado, querida amiga Melody!
Sei bem tudo o que sente... já o senti.
A saudade é eterna.
Tenha uma nova semana abençoada!
Beijinhos fraternos
Dear Melody, I am so sorry. Please accept my deepest condolences. Losing a sister is terrible. Where are your parents? Are you really all alone? Your family should support you and help you cope with your grief.
ReplyDeleteI see that you lived in Ukraine. You should have gone to Russia, not the UK.
I am so sorry about your brother. Please accept my condolences. May Allah (swt) have mercy on him. Place it be heaven.. 🙏
ReplyDeleteQuelle infinite mancanze, che segnano in modo significativo le nostre giornate, e ci fanno tornare nostalgicamente indietro nel tempo
ReplyDeleteBuona domenica
Dear Melody, I know how you feel. I also lost a loved one almost 12 years ago. Despite the pain and emptiness I feel, I know that he watches over me like a Guardian Angel. It's impossible to describe what happens to me in life, but I have a sacred belief that someone is watching out to make sure nothing happens to me. All that remains is hope and faith that one day we will be together in heaven. This will happen to everyone at the end and know that your sister knows exactly how you feel. She knows what you struggle with every day and watches over you. I hug you to my heart, my love. Please hold your head up and don't be sad anymore. I am with you with all my heart 💗💗💗
ReplyDeleteEssas perdas doem muiro e deixam grandes e eternas saudades!
ReplyDeleteO tempo passa e elas nunca passam!
beijos, fica bem ,chica
Never think that she's gone! She's by your side every day...watching, listening to you. Talk to her...she'll always be there!
ReplyDeleteBig hug
Donna
Oh, dear Melody, it will take a long time. A very long time. And I'm so sorry you have to experience such a deep loss at such a young age. As one who lost a parent while only in her 20s, I can tell you the pain cuts deep, but you already know that. I was told "the first year is the hardest" and in some ways, that's true -- the first of every experience you shared, you now share alone. But that implies the next years are easier and I don't think that's always so. The finality sets in. Until one day, we begin to reframe that relationship to the now. Don't let go of the memories, share them with her -- with others you feel safe with. Write it out. Talk to her. Carry a token of her presence to remind yourself that she's with you, in your heart and always. Share her memory with others to keep her alive. Allow yourself to cry. Grief bursts happen at the most inauspicious times -- while hearing a special song on the muzak in the market or watching a film or show that touches you deeply. (Some 46 years later, I still get them and certain videos start me.) Your feelings are precious and they are yours. Don't let anyone tell you to "get over it" or "isn't it time?" because YOU set the clock. And you never get "over" it, you get "through" it. If you need to find a professional to listen, do. Another outstanding resource is Alan Wohfelt's Center for Loss and Transition (google it) which has OUTSTANDING online resources in the "Grief" tab at the top of the home page.
ReplyDeleteI am so deeply sorry for your loss and send love and wishes for peace, healing, and strength.
My heart aches for you. I hope God gives you the touch, the whisper you seek. Praying for you sweet friend.
ReplyDeletewww.rsrue.blogspot.com
3 years ago my father went to heaven, most say "with time you'll don't feel nothing-2. This is wrong you'll feel always the absence but you understant how to live with it!!!
ReplyDeleteQue descanse na Paz de Deus.
ReplyDelete.
Uma semana feliz.
.
“” Sentimento de Amor ““
.
Melody, darling!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you have to experience the loss of your beloved sister. It is difficult to understand and accept a situation in which someone leaves forever and it cannot be changed.
I want to hug you to comfort you and give you strength.
I'm sending you warm hugs 😘
I am praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I'm so sorry, Melody. I, really am sorry for this painfull absence. I cannot easily control it, my dear friend. Be strong. Your sister will remain alive as you remember her for ever.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you. 🙏🏻
ReplyDeleteDear Melody, I sympathize with you very much... I'm very sorry... It is very sad, terrible...
ReplyDeleteMelody, I know that I won't comfort you, but 3 months ago my mother's illness surprised us, my mother has cancer...
We have to believe that life doesn't end here on Earth... You believe that your sister is with you and she takes care of you...
Melody, I know it's hard, but you believe...
Dear, I don't know what to say. I'm sending you my love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteUtrata kogoś, kogo kochamy to zawsze wielka trauma. Wspieram cię duchowo.
ReplyDeleteOh Melody! My heart aches for you. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister and soulmate and I understand that even after two years you're still hurting. She will always be your sister and part of your life, even if she is no longer there in person. I wish I could tell you it will get better and that time will heal all wounds, but that's such a cliché, isn't it, and I'm not even sure you can heal from such a traumatic loss anyway. I can only wish you strength to deal with your grief, however long it takes. There is no right or wrong way to grief, and there definitely isn't a time limit. xxx
ReplyDeleteUm texto muito emotivo
ReplyDeleteNão deixe de pedir por ela a Deus, não a esqueça nunca, fale com ela ela vai te ouvir.
Beijinhos e boa semana! Muita força!
I lost my partner three years ago, so I know exactly what you are writing about.
ReplyDeleteYo aunque hace unos cuantos años perdí a mis padres con un año de diferencia tras unas duras enfermedades aunque sientas esa perdida igual no es lo mismo que perder un hermano que como te ocurre. Mas siendo como nos dices tu mejor confidente y consejera.
ReplyDeleteCreo que en el funeral que peor me encontré fue en el de un amigo que murió en accidente de tráfico. Me recuerdo de él cada vez que entro en un bar y voy al lavabo ya no estaba muy claro cual era el de hombres y cual el mujeres, el abrió la puerta del de mujeres y le mandaron al otro. También lo recuerdo en días como hoy ya que su hermano menor a su primer hijo nacido poco después le puso su nombre, este sobrino de pequeño se hizo una herida que le quedo una cicatriz en la misma ceja que la tenía su tío.
Saludos.
Hi Mel,
ReplyDeleteI've deeply missed reading your blog posts. I can only imagine how difficult the past few years must have been for you. Loosing someone incredible close to me six years ago taught me that grief is a unique and ongoing process. Even now, memories can feel like they happened yesterday, triggering tears and somber moods.
People often say ''it's been a while; you should be over it by now.'' But I firmly believe that everyone grieves differently and there's no set timeline for healing. While it's impossible to eradicate the pain of loss, I find solace in the idea that our loved ones are in a better place, free from suffering.
This thought provides me with a sense of peace, and I hope it can offer you some comfort as well.
Take care, and I look forward to reading your next post.
Bernie,
Benita James
Sorry to hear this Melody. Sending you big hugs. My dad died in 2002 and I still feel the pain. We never forget them and they will always be with us.
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry. ❤️
ReplyDeleteShe will always be with you. My condolences. Sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. It’s clear how much she meant to you, and the pain of her absence is real. I hope you find comfort in the love you shared and the memories you have. Sending you strength through this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteIt is always hard to say goodbye to a loved one. We are never really separated from them because we are spiritually always with them and they with us.
ReplyDeleteHugs and bnlessings
Sou capaz de entender o que sente. Tive o mesmo problema em Maio do ano passado. Dói só de pensar. Sinto a seu perda.
ReplyDeleteUma boa semana.
Um beijo.
May her memory be a blessing.
ReplyDeleteMelody dói perder alguém que amamos, parece que a dor nunca vai parar, mas só o tempo vai aliviar essa dor que você está sentindo, peça a Deus pra aliviar essa dor que Ele vai te ajudar bjs.
ReplyDeleteIt was 66 years ago that my brother was taken away from me so suddenly. In all those years I still miss him so, he sits on my bookcase and watches over me but he never gets older while I do. I feel for you as I know only too well what you are going through. Take care Diane
ReplyDeleteÉ difícil quando se perde um ente querido. Mas a vida é mesmo assim...
ReplyDeleteTemos que ter força, coragem e determinação para seguir em frente...
Beijinhos grandes, amiga Melody, e boa semana com tudo de bom.
Mário Margaride
http://poesiaaquiesta.blogspot.com
https://soltaastuaspalavras.blogspot.com
Dear Melody, I am so sorry, I hope that in time the wound opened by this great loss can heal, but never forget. It's always hard and difficult to say goodbye.
ReplyDeleteI send you a big, warm hug.
I'm so sad with you... Be strong ...
ReplyDeleteOs meus sentimentos! O tempo passa, mas os sentimentos ficam!
ReplyDeleteBjxxx
Teresa Isabel Silva
Instagram | Pinterest | Linkedint
I am sending you so much love today, and always, as you do your best to navigate this loss and pain. Your words truly touched my heart. It is clear how deeply you love her and how much she has impacted your life. I've often heard that grief is unexpressed love...and it is obvious that your love for her will always remain. Even though there is hurt, there is also so much love.
ReplyDeleteI can not even imagine how it feels, but she's not gone forever, she will live in your heart and your memories. Sending you lots of love, S
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry for the loss of your loved one. It is difficult to go through this experience. I hope that your heart finds comfort.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. It is a great loss to lose your sister. This will never get over. It takes a lot of time and then you will remember your sister only with love.
ReplyDeleteGreetings.
sorry for losing someone who you love very much.....
ReplyDeletevery sad and difficult....
take care....
I'm so very sorry, Melody. I've never lost a sibling, but my husband has, and I've seen what it can do to those left behind. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteBoa tarde, Melody
ReplyDeletePerder alguém da família é horrível, a dor é imensa, mas a Palavra de Deus nos consola, Jesus foi preparar lugar. Em Apocalipe 21:4 diz: "E lhes enxugará dos olhos toda lágrima. E já não existirá mais morte, já não haverá luto, nem pranto, nem dor, porque as primeiras coisas passaram. Haverá vida eterna para todo aquele que receber Jesus como Salvador. Que o Senhor te fortaleça sempre. Um forte abraço.
It never gets easy.. your love for her is evident and I am sure she loved you just as much.
ReplyDeleteOlá minha amiga querida. Difícil a perda. Amanhã farão dois anos que meu pai se foi.
ReplyDeleteOlá, Melody, sinto tanto te ler e perceber uma dor tão grande. Eu sempre pensei que alguns tipos de amores são eternos, mas me parece que tu sentes que perdeste este amor. Apesar da ausência, ela está em ti, faz parte da tua vida, isto jamais será destruído, porque amores muito intensos são eternos, nada nem ninguém tem o poder de acabar, interromper. Sinto muito, tenta ficar bem. Beijos https://jeannegeyeraquarelas.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteSending you a big virtual hug. I can't imagine the pain of losing a sibling, especially one who you were so close with. I am hoping that finding your words and writing this post helped lift some of the pain from your heart. You will always love her and always miss her, but I pray you'll also find comfort in life she lived and the memories you made while you had her.
ReplyDeleteOLá Melodi!
ReplyDeleteQue sua semana seja repleta de luz
abraços Loiva
This is so sad. I can't imagine the pain you're feeling. I'm so sorry for this. I hope writing to us has made you feel better. We're with you. Sending you hugs and kisses. Take care of yourself, live and smile, because those who loved us would want you to!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness you made me cry with your powerful mourning words dear Melody!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy world changed forever when my parents left within one year one after another!
The mourning has gone as its been 12 years since they left.but pain and emptiness will stay inside forever.I gave up to get rid of them since long!
Part of me dwell with that feeling always!
I believe after leaving her body in this world your sister has emerged into boundless existence and she is around you always sensing your pain ,wanting you to stop suffering and start healing with realisation that no matter what shape life moves into she will be with you forever and ever and ever ❤️❤️❤️
Hugs
Deep and heartfelt words.
ReplyDeleteThose we love remain forever in our hearts, even after they're gone.
A big and friendly hug
Since sharing this post, I’ve been deeply moved by the outpouring of support. Your kind words have been a source of strength for me, reminding me that it’s okay to feel the pain, and that many of us are walking similar paths. Knowing I’m not alone has been both comforting and humbling.
ReplyDeleteI miss my sister so much, and for everyone who has also experienced loss but still took the time to leave a comment, to encourage me, and to lift my spirit with your positivity—please know how much it means to me. I truly don’t take any of it for granted.
I’ve chosen not to reply to each comment individually because words simply fail to express how grateful I am. The overwhelming love and kindness in your messages have shown me just how much this space is more than just a blog—it’s a real community, one built on compassion, connection, and shared experiences.
From the bottom of my heart, I thank each and every one of you. My sister is resting, and I am thankful to God for giving me the strength to carry on—and for giving me all of you. God bless you all.
Perder una hermana es triste, hay mucho dolor y su presencia siempre se siente, lo digo porque en el término de dos años perdí a mi madre y hermano mayor, duele, pero sabemos y creemos que siempre nos visitan, nos cuidan. Además, la fe de volverlos a encontrar esta firme en mí, que también me dejo mi padre, allí en el cielo están los tres algún día los volveré a ver. Gracias por pasar a visitarme amiga Melody
ReplyDeleteAbrazo
Bom dia, Melody Jacob.
ReplyDeleteA sua crônica é belíssima, cuja leitura emociona
o privilegiado leitor.
Compreendo a sua dor e deixo aqui a minha
solidariedade.
Que as lembranças queridas com sua saudosa
irmã possam trazer-lhe o conforto necessário
para seguir com serenidade ante as adversidades
das quais não podemos evitar.
Abençoados sejam os seus dias.
Terno abraço.
A veces es difícil expresar en síntesis todo el desborde profundo que siente y se comparte por una pérdida de un amor...los amores que se tienen en la raíz del corazón nunca se mueren ,nos acompañan siempre en cada paso que damos cada día, eso se lo se porque a muy temprana edad supe de perder , supe del llorar y ese duelo que parecía nunca acabar, pero a los años , lo da la experiencia , aprende uno a sublimar todo ese dolor, aprende a honrar su partida, haciendo lo mejor en la vida de lo que hemos venido a hacer , para ser reflejo también de esos pasos que ella o él no terminaron de dar .
ReplyDeleteEl mejor bálsamo se encuentra en el amor de nuestro Señor que dió su vida para que nosotros después de esta vida seamos eternos y es la esperanza que nos queda, en este viaje que seguimos adelante y creo en ello para volverles a abrazar.
Que el amor de Dios te cobije bajo sus alas.
Abrazo.
Rest assured she is resting in peace. Grief doesn’t follow any timeline, and the weight of her absence still lingers. The emptiness you feel, the longing to hear her voice again, is so real. It’s okay to still cry, to still miss her. Sending you love and strength as you continue to navigate this journey.
ReplyDelete