Why Do Some People Take and Take and Never Appreciate?

I can't stop thinking about this. I've tried to look at it from every angle to understand why some people behave the way they do. The human brain is incredibly complex, I know, but I just can't seem to grasp why things happen like this. This attitude, in particular, is something that really bothers me. It's an issue that affects us all in some way: some of us have to tolerate it, some of us are the ones giving this attitude, and some of us are the ones who finally decide to stop.

Why are there people who, no matter what you do for them, never seem to appreciate it? The more you do, whether they've asked you to or you're just being helpful, they make you feel foolish. They respond with a kind of silent attitude that reeks of entitlement.

I've had my share of these experiences, and I've decided to stop tolerating it. This kind of behavior can be found in any relationship, with friends, family, or spouses. But from my experience and the stories I've heard, it most often comes from family members, close friends, and loved ones. This is what truly bothers me: why do some people feel more entitled the more you help them? Why, for Christ's sake?

They never appreciate what you do for them. But the moment you stop, maybe because you no longer have the time or resources to give, they become angry. They stop reaching out. Suddenly, you're the bad guy. For them, it's all about what they can get. They don't care about the effort or sacrifice you put in; it's just take, take, take. They never give back. It's infuriating and a truly poor way to behave.

I remember a story a woman shared online about helping her family. She was single at the time and would assist her sister by dropping her kids off at school. She was working herself, but she used all her spare time to be an involved aunt. She even helped with family finances and bought her mom a car. But she noticed that the more she helped, the more her family seemed to resent her. There was no appreciation, and the worst part was the subtle, backhanded "thank yous" that made her feel so stupid. This woman did so much that it actually caused her family, and especially her sister, whose kids she helped nanny, to hate her. I could feel how hurt this woman is in that video. She said something that struck my attention. She said some people wish they were you. They wish you didn't have what you have. Instead of appreciating it, they envy it in their hearts and can't hide it for long no matter how kind you are to them.

Reflecting on my own experiences with these events yesterday stirred up so much anger in me. I keep asking myself, "Why did I even bother?" There was a person in my life who was constantly asking me for things, and I didn't mind. I've always believed that if you have the means, you should help people in any little way you can, as long as you don't run yourself ragged doing it. I helped this person for years, but the day I wasn't able to give them what they wanted, they called me several times. I was at work and couldn't answer. When I called them back later, the first thing they said was, "I know you were dodging my call." I was stunned into silence, and then they said, "You're so stingy. I asked for this, but you only gave me this."

I was shocked. I didn't owe this person anything. I had been helping them for over four years, and the one time I couldn't meet their expectations, I was called stingy. I was just doing it out of the goodness of my heart. And just last week, I got the same entitled attitude from another person I was helping. It's not even about the "thank yous" for me; I honestly don't care about those. It's the subtle attitude of entitlement that really gets to me.

The Hard Truth About Entitlement

This behavior, where people feel entitled to your help and get angry when you stop giving, often stems from a lack of emotional maturity and empathy. People who behave in this manner are selfish, and if the tables were turned, they would not help anyone. They see your generosity not as a gift, but as an obligation. Over time, your kindness becomes an expected part of their lives, and they lose sight of the fact that it's a choice you're making, not a duty you owe them.

I have experienced this several times with different people, and I will not allow it to happen again. I have decided to cut off from every one of them, which is why I decided to share this. Apologies if I sound angry in this post, but I really am.

I learned that you should stop giving to those who don't appreciate you and downplay your help. You know the truth: it's incredibly hard to just tell yourself, "I'll overlook this behavior no matter what."

I've decided to stop assisting these kinds of people because they make me feel like I am their servant or maid. You call to confirm a detail, and they won't call you back to confirm they received what you sent. They'll just send one reply and go off. It's like you're not just giving them something; you're also struggling to get their attention, even to confirm they've received what they asked for.

On another occasion, someone requested my help, and although I wasn't in the right position at that moment, I still made it a priority to assist them. A week later, they wrote to me again, requesting more assistance. I was shocked.

Another example was when someone I knew fell into debt from a fraudulent investment. I decided to help cover the debt because they were becoming depressed. Less than two weeks after I covered that debt, this person called me again, requesting further assistance in a text. When I saw that message, I knew that some people are ready to lie their way to get anything or just take until they drain the life out of you. This person completely disregarded the previous help I provided and viewed me merely as someone they could call to ask for things, rather than recognizing that I am a growing individual.

I also noticed that for some, when I say I don't have anything to give, they stop contacting me or saying hi. Even when I say hi, they don't reply. The relationship comes to life again only when I give something, and when I don't, it dies again. I am so angry for tolerating this for a long time in my life.

This behavior isn't just rude; it's a profound lack of respect for you and your time. Your generosity shouldn't come with the added effort of chasing them down. By continuing to give, you're only reinforcing their belief that they're entitled to your help and that they don't have to show you the basic courtesy and appreciation you deserve.

How to Handle Entitled People

Ultimately, dealing with this kind of entitlement is about learning to value yourself and your well-being. By setting boundaries, recognizing unhealthy patterns, and shifting your mindset, you can stop tolerating this draining behavior and build relationships that are based on mutual respect and appreciation, not just on what you can give. It doesn't matter what your relationship is with them; here is what you should do:

• Set Clear Boundaries: The most important thing you can do is learn to say no. You can still be a kind and generous person, but you must define what you are willing and able to give. It's about protecting your own time, energy, and resources. You are not a bottomless well, and it's not selfish to prioritize your own well-being.
• Recognize the Signs: Pay attention to the subtle cues. If a person rarely says "thank you," only reaches out when they need something, or gets angry when you can't help, it's a red flag. These are signs of a one-sided relationship that will likely drain you emotionally.
• Shift Your Mindset: It's crucial to understand that their reaction is not a reflection of your worth. You are not "stingy" or "a bad person" for setting boundaries. Their entitlement is their issue, not yours. By refusing to let their attitude define you, you take back your power and protect your peace of mind.

Your energy is valuable. Your time is valuable. You don’t owe anyone your help, and it’s okay to stop giving to those who take it for granted. My mom always says to me, takers never get tired of taking; it's the givers that might drown.