I have always heard people discuss mom guilt, but I never truly understood the full picture until I heard women cry, saying they wished they had been much happier in those early days after giving birth. They spoke of the constant feeling of not doing enough, of not being a “good mom." I mean, imagine a newborn who can’t even speak, and the mother already feeling guilty—then imagine a society full of people whose words cut like razors. What humanity and its impossible standards have forced mothers to endure.
While reading this book, I asked myself, how many times have I felt guilty for something I shouldn't have? How many times have I said no, knowing it was best for me, yet still carried guilt? How many times have I decided to look the other way because I couldn’t fix a situation? When I choose to put myself first in situations that demand it with adults, the feeling of guilt still creeps in—but I refuse to pay it attention.
Now, imagine the moms with babies who can’t even speak. That guilt is amplified, constant, and relentless.
Why Do Some Women Hide Their Success?
Why do some people—especially women—buy a property, a car, or even take care of things at home, only to tell everyone, “It’s my husband’s”?
Why is this considered normal? I want to write from three angles: traditional expectations, modern life, and the spiritual perspective.
Traditionally, society has expected women to be “less than” men. Even if a woman wants to succeed, she’s often told to slow down so her husband doesn’t feel insecure. Growing up in Nigeria, I’ve seen countless women sacrifice their dreams, give up parts of their lives, and even when they make money, insist it belongs to their husbands—to make him feel like the head of the family.
A clear example: at a church women’s conference, a speaker advised women that if their husband has a fertility issue, they should take the blame and “cover him,” even telling people they are the one with the problem. What a ridiculous thing to say—like women exist to carry all the burdens. Seriously. Do you know what women who struggle to have children go through at the hands of family members, in-laws, and judgmental relatives? And when the problem is actually with the man, she is expected to lie and claim it’s hers. Who even gets to speak for her private life? It’s insane. That video went viral, and many were shocked at advice from a church leader. But here’s the pattern: this kind of advice mostly comes from some women of the older generation. Why? Because many adopt what’s called “pick me” behavior—they shrink themselves, endure suffering, and allow themselves to be trapped in a submissive, controlling dynamic.
Some women pay the family rent, buy properties, or make major purchases, yet society expects them to put it all under their husband’s name—so he can “feel like a man.”
I’ve heard men boast about controlling every penny their wives earn, deciding how the money is spent, and flaunting their authority over it. Women who shrink themselves to make a partner feel seen are essentially catering to someone with ego problems. If it’s your choice, fine. But if society, family, or religion pressures you into it, that is abuse disguised as “respect” or “submission.”
As a Christian, I’ve seen submission exploited in churches—women are asked to accept unacceptable behavior and shrink themselves so men can “feel seen.” That is dangerous and dehumanizing. If someone can only feel seen by forcing you to lower yourself, that person does not respect you—they see you as less than human; they see you as a maggot.
When I saw this photo by Said Mhamad for Becoming Something the World Hasn’t Learned to Name for Iris van Herpen, I was blown away. The image is otherworldly, the photography showcases a brilliant mind, and the model exudes pure beauty. Some photographs stay with you, making you pause and simply admire them. This is one of those. This photographer has been shooting for years and continues to create work that truly stands out. It’s absolutely extraordinary.
This is the Loïe Gown Would you wear this dress?
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| Photo by Joshua Abner |
The first thing you notice is the light.
It softens everything. The sky loosens its bright grip on the day and begins to glow in amber and rose. The tide moves in steady rhythm. The air feels cooler, gentler against your skin. With each step into the sand, your body slows. Your breathing deepens. Your shoulders drop without being told.
Why does it feel this way?
Because sunset at the beach is not just beautiful—it is biologically regulating.
Your nervous system responds to the shift in light. The sound of waves introduces patterned, predictable noise that calms the brain. The uneven sand engages muscles you rarely use. The scent of saltwater alters brain chemistry. The horizon line widens your field of vision, signaling safety to the body.
Walking on the beach at sunset is not simply a pleasant habit. It is a full-spectrum health practice—physical, psychological, emotional, and even social.
Let us explore every dimension of why this simple act is so powerful.
1. The Neurological Effect: Why It Calms You Instantly
When you walk along the shoreline at sunset, several systems activate at once:
Circadian Rhythm Regulation
The warm, dimming light at sunset signals your brain to begin producing melatonin. This helps regulate sleep patterns. Exposure to natural evening light improves sleep quality, especially for those who spend their day under artificial lighting.
Better sleep improves:
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Hormonal balance
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Memory consolidation
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Immune function
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Mood stability
Auditory Reset Through Ocean Waves
The sound of waves creates rhythmic, low-frequency noise. Research in environmental psychology shows that predictable natural sounds reduce amygdala activity—the part of the brain responsible for fear and stress.
This is why you feel relief almost immediately.
Visual Expansion and Stress Reduction
Looking at a wide horizon relaxes the visual system. Indoors, our eyes focus narrowly on screens and walls. At the beach, your gaze broadens. This reduces cognitive load and lowers cortisol levels.
Your body interprets open space as safety.
How did we end up here? It started simply enough: the sun looked like it was going to hang around for one more hour, so we decided to go get some sunshine. The drive was calm and easy to navigate using the map. It wasn’t too cold; I was sweating in my big jacket inside the car and had to wind down the window for some fresh air. I started feeling sleepy, but the drive was short, so I closed my eyes and napped until we arrived.
Parking was straightforward near the entrance, and we set off on our morning walk. As we wandered, we talked about different parts of our lives and joked about how we always feel like we aren’t doing much exercise. But in truth, walking burns a lot, and my partner has even lost some weight thanks to our regular strolls. I haven’t noticed many changes myself, but the walk keeps us healthy and allows us to enjoy nature, exactly what we came for.
We didn’t spend too long at first. We met a man with two dogs who told us there wasn’t much to see, just woods, much like the photos, and whichever path we chose, it would all look the same. But that was fine; we only wanted to walk and soak up the sun. The thirty minutes we spent wandering through the quiet paths were completely worth it.
Partway through, my partner mentioned seeing a body of water on our way and suggested we explore in that direction. We drove toward it, but parking was a bit far, so he proposed visiting Drumpellier Park instead. If you’ve read my previous posts, you’ll know we’d previously been to Drumplier Park. This time, we explored even further, taking in the woods, gardens, and loch, a reminder of the Seven Lochs of Glasgow initiative. Visiting all seven is on our list, and when we finish, I’ll share a full post on them, because each one is a short drive from the city but filled with nature.
How did we end up here? It started simply enough: the sun looked like it was going to hang around for one more hour, so we decided to go get some sunshine. The drive was calm and easy to navigate using the map. It wasn’t too cold, but I was sweating in my big jacket inside the car and had to wind down the window for some fresh air. I started feeling sleepy, but the drive was short, so I closed my eyes and napped until we arrived.
Parking was straightforward near the entrance, and we set off on our morning walk. As we wandered, we talked about different parts of our lives and joked about how we always feel like we aren’t doing much exercise. But in truth, walking burns a lot, and my partner has even lost some weight thanks to our regular strolls. I haven’t noticed any changes myself, but the walk keeps us healthy and allows us to enjoy nature, exactly what we came for.
We didn’t spend too long at first. We met a man with two dogs who told us there wasn’t much to see, just woods, much like the photos, and whichever path we chose, it would all look the same. But that was fine; we only wanted to walk and soak up the sun. The thirty minutes we spent wandering through the quiet paths were completely worth it.
Some designs keep it minimal with whole strawberries and a light glaze for shine. Others slice them thin and fan them out like petals. You’ll also see naked cakes with strawberries tucked between layers, or chocolate-drip cakes finished with berries on top. However it’s styled, a strawberry cake always feels fresh and inviting.
These cakes are perfect for spring and summer birthdays, garden parties, bridal showers, baby showers, anniversaries, and even small weddings. They also work beautifully for Mother’s Day or a quiet family gathering where you want something pretty but not overdone.
A strawberry-decorated cake feels thoughtful and warm. It’s the kind of dessert that makes people pause before cutting it, just to admire it for a moment. And once it’s sliced, it tastes as lovely as it looks.
