tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post5300063704081827060..comments2024-03-18T20:37:43.377+00:00Comments on Melody Jacob: At what point should you leave a toxic relationship?MELODY JACOBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05028937757407238470noreply@blogger.comBlogger81125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-65610052747759460182023-08-14T09:12:49.837+00:002023-08-14T09:12:49.837+00:00What a thought-provoking article! "If it'...What a thought-provoking article! "If it's toxic, leave it silently" – such a powerful mantra to live by. Toxicity can drain us emotionally and mentally, and it takes immense strength to recognize when something isn't serving our well-being. Your words resonate deeply – sometimes, walking away silently is the <a href="https://enroute.com.bd/managed-service/facility-management/" rel="nofollow"><strong>best choice for our own growth and peace</strong></a>. Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. It's a reminder that our mental and emotional health should always be a priority. 🌱💙Top Learning Center in BDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01408559338912412312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-10117107961782442512023-05-14T09:28:06.365+00:002023-05-14T09:28:06.365+00:00I don’t know all the circumstances, If you live wi...I don’t know all the circumstances, If you live with this person or not …<br /><br />BUT…. I think this could be a dangerous person, the most peaceful thing you can do is cut contact. No contact. Block them on everything. Take care of your mental health. I’m pretty sure there’s trauma to your nervous system when you’re in a relationship like this, allow yourself time to heal. There may not be any peaceful way other than just leaving and cutting contact, if this person is controlling and obsessive they will probably try to convince you to stay, and you’re obviously seeking to leave.Kaitlin Kal Leehttps://www.quora.com/profile/Kaitlin-Kal-Leenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-83462175554647342402023-05-14T09:27:09.537+00:002023-05-14T09:27:09.537+00:00My first ex girlfriend was controlling and abusive...My first ex girlfriend was controlling and abusive. So you break free by NOT tolerating their obsessive and controlling behavior. Controlling relationships are ABUSIVE and the way you break free is by ending the relationship with your partner. Any signs of control is dangerous, especially if they’re obsessive. Usually, people who are controlling are insecure and narcissistic people. If your partner doesn’t get the message after you end things, file a restraining order and or get law enforcement involved.Josiah Bhola Hillairehttps://www.quora.com/profile/Josiah-Bhola-Hillairenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-25959732634416965542023-05-14T09:24:42.928+00:002023-05-14T09:24:42.928+00:00If you've already told them “it's over”, y...If you've already told them “it's over”, you’ve blocked them from phone & social media & they still won't leave you alone I would suggest you make a report w/the police. I would then contact your nearest Women's Center &/or Shelter & ask for any resources dealing w/abuse as controlling/obsessive behavior Is abuse. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline I believe would have resources as well: 1.800.799.7233. Keep your good friends close & be sure they're aware of your situation. If you Need to leave your home for safety have that set up as well. Talking to a Good therapist whose specialty is abuse would be a good step too for guidance & support. Please take Good care & be kind to yourself m'dear.Kyo Deehttps://www.quora.com/profile/Kyo-Deenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-42772983447701004462023-05-14T09:22:44.096+00:002023-05-14T09:22:44.096+00:00Hi friend. Hope you are fine. When you are deeply ...Hi friend. Hope you are fine. When you are deeply in love with your partner it is difficult for you to come out of this situation. Even though you know that your partner is over controlling and obsessive you think that it might change when the next situation come as I thought. No one has the right to control you, your thoughts and views. If he hurts you soo much tell him openly. Because if it keeps on going like this you will be in pain always. I know how it feels. It was difficult for me to get out the same situation as yours. I kept holding him till 2 days back(11/5/2023 mine was a 4 year long distance relationship). He left me without any words or goodbyes. His marriage has been fixed too. I know the pain I am suffering. We should have respect for each other not controlled life. Disrespect should not be allowed at any cost. Try to make your partner understand still if your partner is not ready to accept slowly accept the reality and try to move on. I know it is difficult but you should. I know I am not the perfect person to give advices. If your partner is yours he/she will definitely come back for you. If not he/she is not yours. Have patience in life. Good things will come to you always and ever. With lots of love and hugTania Thomashttps://www.quora.com/profile/Tania-Thomas-112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-19778656052846606292023-05-14T09:19:58.670+00:002023-05-14T09:19:58.670+00:00You leave quietly without a trace. My brother said...You leave quietly without a trace. My brother said it best”don’t let a crazy MF know your next move”. Just to be on the alive side its best to move in silence. The obsessive and controlling behavior are 2 red flags to take seriously.Verna Simmshttps://www.quora.com/profile/Verna-Simmsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-23923119472749304432023-05-14T09:17:08.929+00:002023-05-14T09:17:08.929+00:00You need to provide more information. Are you marr...You need to provide more information. Are you married and/or do you have minor children?<br /><br />If so, you will need to see a family law attorney.<br /><br />If you are fearful for your safety, tell the attorney and they will put protections in place.<br /><br />This “may” include a temporary protective order and force him to leave the marital home.<br /><br />As far as what you tell him and how you tell him: Do this in a PUBLIC PLACE, ie: a park or coffee shop where you can leave.<br /><br />You say:<br /><br />“Joe, I am no longer interested in continuing this relationship. I don’t want to rehash old arguments. I want to move on. I wish you well”.<br /><br />Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT allow him to drag you into a conversation.<br /><br />When you get home, block him from your devices and all social media. Set your accounts to private. Do not ask others about him.<br />Debbie Dormanhttps://www.quora.com/profile/Debbie-Dorman-6noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-55421730733423941222023-05-14T09:15:39.784+00:002023-05-14T09:15:39.784+00:00You have to do it fast and without looking back. Y...You have to do it fast and without looking back. You must be firm aswell. You cannot him and haw over it you cant discuss it with them you just leave. Otherwise your over controlling partner will do everything they can to make you stay. They will convince you that they are only like that because of how much they love you . They are very good at making you see it their way and I promise you that if given that chance you will be back asking the same question next year. So run like your on fire.Charlee1025https://www.quora.com/profile/Charlee1025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-22980001191541258442023-05-14T09:12:27.424+00:002023-05-14T09:12:27.424+00:00
Afterwards, try to also get really good advice fr...<br />Afterwards, try to also get really good advice from your parents regarding your situation with your controlling and your obsessive partner. Your parents should be able to give you their thoughts on your relationship with your partner. I believe your parents will agree with me for you to start preparing to LEAVE your boyfriend.<br /><br />When you are at his place start packing up your clothes and anything that’s important to you, take these things with you on that day you leave your boyfriend to take that (one week) break away from him. Because you don’t want to have yo go back to his apartment or his house. He will be waiting for you and that will be a dangerous situation for you. Always stay safe. Don’t go back to your partner’s home or to his apartment anymore.<br /><br />You deserve a boyfriend who loves you for who you are and not someone whose controlling your every move.<br /><br />That’s not real love it’s is an emotional abusive relationship you are in now. There also a Domestic Violence Hotline you can call them for support and for professional counseling if you need this help. But I am also here for you too as your friend on this Quora website. I understand everything your going through now. I had to deal with this issue myself in the past.<br /><br />I hope everything works out for you and you will be fine by yourself without your controlling boyfriend in your life. You just need to heal now from this situation and it’s going to take a while to fully recover from everything that you had to go through with your life.<br /><br />Please don’t date any men during this transition period with you trying to recover and you need to heal yourself first before you will be able to date a new person in your life. I wish you the best of luck.Frances D.https://www.quora.com/profile/Frances-D-23noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-74847138999052993272023-05-14T09:11:00.767+00:002023-05-14T09:11:00.767+00:00I understand these things you are going through ri...I understand these things you are going through right now because I had a boyfriend in my past relationship that I had the exact same issues that your partner has now.<br /><br />These are the things that I did to finally end my verbally abusive relationship with my former boyfriend. It’s always a good idea for me to help other people on this Quora website so they can learn from my past dating experience. It’s only someone like myself who has been through this before that can give their first hand experience to you.<br /><br />The first thing you should do is to either take some of your free time and find a quiet place and talk to your boyfriend in person first is more effective than sending your boyfriend an text message or an email these things the text message and the email are second choices if you don’t feel comfortable talking to your partner face to face at your apartment.<br /><br />You need to tell your partner your true feelings about your situation with your relationship. Just say something like this but be very calm when you tell your partner this statement. Don’t tell your boyfriend yet that you’re going to break up with him and end your relationship with him now. Because if you tell him now he will get really upset with you and he will be yelling at you. That’s not safe for you.<br /><br />Just tell your boyfriend that you need to take a break from your relationship now and your going to take (one week) off from your relationship with your partner. Then say you need this time and space for yourself because you want to get your life together and you need want to rethink your relationship you have with your partner now. Be very honest and tell your boyfriend or your partner that your not happy with the way your partner has been mistreating you. I mean he doesn’t respect you or your feelings on issues you talk to him about .<br /><br />Say this you don’t feel comfortable in your relationship with him now. Tell him you need to take this (Emotional Break from your relationship) with him. That’s enough to tell him you need this time off for yourself and your peace of mind.<br /><br />You should just go slowly because you don’t want to upset your controlling boyfriend since by your question on this Quora website it sounds like your boyfriend is verbally abusive to you and has this problem. Please be careful and always stay safe first.<br /><br />if you are currently living with your partner now at his home now. Your partner has a lot of control over you because it’s his own place. You need to be very careful not to make him upset with you.<br /><br />After you have talked to your boyfriend then get ready to leave him the same day or the next day. Call up your good woman friend or even call your parents and ask them if you can stay with them for only (one week), because you’re taking a (one week break) from your boyfriend right now and say to your woman friend or to your mom that you need to get your life back on track now. Hopefully either one of these people will allow you to stay with them for one week.<br /><br />This one week time off will give you the opportunity to find out if you can stand on your own two feet without having your boyfriend in your life. You need to show your boyfriend that you can survive without having him in your life now. Your boyfriend is thinking in his mind right now that you need him for emotional support. No you don’t need your partner for emotional support you can and you will make it on your own without your partner controlling your own life.<br /><br />Please call your parents and your good woman friend so you have this emotional support from them . Don’t do this alone . You are not alone, I am here to also give you empathy and my support. I have gone through this exact thing myself. If you want someone to talk to, please you can talk to me on here. Just send me a message and I will respond back to you promptly.<br />Frances D.https://www.quora.com/profile/Frances-D-23noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-51887800032004162472023-05-14T09:02:31.119+00:002023-05-14T09:02:31.119+00:00I don’t know all the circumstances, If you live wi...I don’t know all the circumstances, If you live with this person or not …<br /><br />BUT…. I think this could be a dangerous person, the most peaceful thing you can do is cut contact. No contact. Block them on everything. Take care of your mental health. I’m pretty sure there’s trauma to your nervous system when you’re in a relationship like this, allow yourself time to heal. There may not be any peaceful way other than just leaving and cutting contact, if this person is controlling and obsessive they will probably try to convince you to stay, and you’re obviously seeking to leave.Kaitlin Kal Leehttps://www.quora.com/profile/Kaitlin-Kal-Leenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-81792117769908403572022-10-22T15:48:44.941+00:002022-10-22T15:48:44.941+00:00Very nice really amazing post thanks for this.Very nice really amazing post thanks for this.Cleaning Servicehttps://www.cleaningservices.com.bd/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-12576848425228725052020-12-12T07:14:04.776+00:002020-12-12T07:14:04.776+00:00Nice to look you again!Nice to look you again!Munhttp://cleaningservicesbd.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-41909539245458661672020-10-28T19:33:56.766+00:002020-10-28T19:33:56.766+00:00When both parties involved are not communicating a...When both parties involved are not communicating and not putting their best efforts to solve the problem. And it is always a one way train and you are not growing or you can say, you are not best of yourself when you are with this person.<br /><br />Best of luck!!Basit Wahid Khanhttps://www.quora.com/profile/Basit-Wahid-Khannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-67629847618216452222020-10-16T05:17:31.068+00:002020-10-16T05:17:31.068+00:00Hello ���� I unfortunately have had to ask myself ...Hello ���� I unfortunately have had to ask myself this question in the past many times. First of all I apologize that you guys are having issues right now. I’ve learned how to evaluate a relationships status from professional therapist btw. Please get a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write the positive aspects of the relationship on the other side write down the negative. If the negatives outweigh or contradict the positives, you may not be able to salvage the relationship. The final straw before break up with me, have been when the dealbreakers occurred. You can actually google Dr.Phils relationship dealbreakers and see for yourself what they are. There are certain behaviors you shouldn’t accept, ever. Now if the positives happen to outweigh the negatives and they make the negatives on your list look minuscule then you may actually be able to salvage and repair the relationship. Dealbreakers such a violence, cruelty or neglect should be taken seriously and signal it is time to go for your wellbeing. I hope this is helpful and best of luck to you guys ❤️Andrea Olingerhttps://www.quora.com/profile/Andrea-Olinger-3?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-57238330091330184302020-10-14T10:11:23.997+00:002020-10-14T10:11:23.997+00:00When you don’t feel that it is a relationship anym...When you don’t feel that it is a relationship anymore. When it feels one-sided, when it feels like it has lost what made you want to begin the relationship in the first place. When you feel like both you and your partner just don’t want to be together. When you both stop fighting for the relationship. And obviously, if it becomes abusive or manipulative, or there’s any infidelity of any kind on the part of any partner.Kellie L. Rashedahttps://www.quora.com/profile/Kellie-L-Rasheda?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-55464713592802173082020-10-14T10:02:54.939+00:002020-10-14T10:02:54.939+00:00It's tough to know when it's time to leave...It's tough to know when it's time to leave a relationship, especially one which you feel you have invested so much in and one where you still have strong feelings for that person. There are so many signs which we chose not to see when we are in love but which become clear after we find the strength to break free. I would say it's time to leave a relationship if any kind of abuse is involved whether this is physical or mental. Its time to leave a relationship when all you have left from this person is memories of how things used to be but you don't recognise or like the person they have become or when you don't like who you become around them. It's time to leave when it becomes clear through the person's actions that they do not care about you - I personally found it was time to leave when I found time and time again that he had no problem going to sleep knowing I was crying only to re- appear a few days later like nothing had happened. This cycle carried on and on and I put an end to things before things would put an end to me.Christina Ledererhttps://www.quora.com/profile/Christina-Lederer?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-23167338796797345992020-10-14T09:57:38.681+00:002020-10-14T09:57:38.681+00:00Lay down some basic rules around what you expect f...Lay down some basic rules around what you expect from the relationship and what you won’t tolerateJim Dawsneyhttps://www.quora.com/profile/Jim-Dawsney?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-61694564332889932222020-10-14T09:54:17.724+00:002020-10-14T09:54:17.724+00:00If you no longer feel the warmth, affection and cl...If you no longer feel the warmth, affection and closeness that used to be in your relationship, either from you to him or vice versa, then it's time to get out, because one or other of you have drifted apart.<br /><br />People in loving relationships should share the same goals, have the same desires, place you first and foremost in their lives and always give you their undying love and attention. Their time should be yours, and when you are not together you should be thinking of one another and aching inside because you are away from each other.<br /><br />If you don't feel this way about your partner, or you believe that he/she does not feel this way about you, then get out of the relationship and find someone better suited to you and invest your time and effort with that person.<br /><br />Life is only as difficult as you make it!Carl Davieshttps://www.quora.com/profile/Carl-Davies-49?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-66283927101971271122020-10-14T09:51:46.938+00:002020-10-14T09:51:46.938+00:00Not really sure about knowing when too leave a rel...Not really sure about knowing when too leave a relationship! I’ve gone a week with no contact with a man I care & love & it’s a sad lonely feeling. I didn’t block him we just keep avoiding each other. I reach out & he runs faster.Missy Wilburnhttps://www.quora.com/profile/Missy-Wilburn-1?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-68639436663662286152020-10-12T08:54:23.929+00:002020-10-12T08:54:23.929+00:00Basically it's time to leave a relationship wh...Basically it's time to leave a relationship when your partner is treating you bad or you no longer have love for them. If you no longer care for them the best time to tell them would be immediately do not lead them on as that will not be good for either one of youDenise Schubbehttps://www.quora.com/profile/Denise-Schubbe?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-66302849096661423352020-10-12T08:51:16.317+00:002020-10-12T08:51:16.317+00:00In the summer of 2018, I was deep in counseling tr...In the summer of 2018, I was deep in counseling trying to address my fear of dating and relationships when I started a dating profile on Coffee Meets Bagel.<br /><br />My therapist was super proud of me when I decided to go on a date with a match I’ll call Bill.<br /><br />Bill and I went on a spur of the moment date to a local restaurant. I should explain that I have cerebral palsy and often use a wheelchair on my bad days and Bill was a full time wheelchair user with a rare but stable medical condition.<br /><br />I laughed a ton during the date and we had great conversation but I wasn’t attracted to him.<br /><br />I’m a firm believer that chemistry and physical attraction can develop and as someone who has been written off by men due to my disability, I always like to give guys a fair chance.<br /><br />But<br /><br />I just couldn’t shake that this wasn’t right.<br /><br />At the end of our date, Bill asked for a second date for the very next day.<br /><br />I was flattered and because our conversation was so good, I said yes.<br /><br />I had a rough time sleeping that night. One of the reasons I was in counseling was because I had a long history of dating guys I wasn’t really that into and I was trying to get to the root cause. I always felt like it was deeper than just low self esteem.<br /><br />The next day, Bill texted me to cancel our date and reschedule for another day. I told him I didn’t think we should go out again.<br /><br />I honestly thought that was the end of the story and then about five months later we reconnected. I received a lot of pressure from my friends to give him another chance, basically because they said I was being shallow.<br /><br />So after being thoroughly guilted into giving Bill a second chance, I dated him casually for almost a year. He never asked for a commitment and neither did I.<br /><br />I really wanted to be in a committed relationship with a guy but I was just not attracted to Bill. There was no physical attraction and while we had good conversation, I really didn’t have an emotional attraction to him either.<br /><br />It wasn’t until I was having lunch with a girlfriend that I finally had some sense talked into me. She’s been married to a wonderful man for almost twenty years and I respect her opinion so when she told me to cut Bill loose, I paid attention.<br /><br />She asked me how I would feel if I were dating a guy who wasn’t attracted to me. I told her I’d feel pretty lousy. She nodded and said, “you deserve to be with someone you’re attracted to physically and emotionally. No one should be guilting you to settle.”<br /><br />It was during that conversation that I realized that I always dated guys that were into me when I wasn’t into them because I never wanted to be like the guys that blew me off because I have a disability. But leading guys on was just as terrible.<br /><br />I ended things with Bill shortly after that conversation and made a decision that the next guy I date will be someone I’m actually into. I’m not afraid to say no to a guy I don’t want to date out of fear that I will be seen as someone super shallow.<br /><br />So that’s progress.Marie Moehttps://www.quora.com/profile/Marie-Moe-8?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-19322604091899507202020-10-01T13:59:54.077+00:002020-10-01T13:59:54.077+00:00When u feel they gave up and not willing to fix or...When u feel they gave up and not willing to fix or talk anything out<br /><br />when you keep telling ur self I need to get out don’t worry about how they will feel cause they don’t care about You if they did then you know u wouldn’t be going though all this to start with I know it’s hard u have to run through a lot of people to<br /><br />find the best for youJavier Nellhttps://www.quora.com/profile/Javier-Nell?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-67749633736481046242020-09-29T20:42:42.229+00:002020-09-29T20:42:42.229+00:00Relationships are ever complicated and consist of ...Relationships are ever complicated and consist of so many variables love / hope / plans / happiness / being comfortable and knowing you’ve found your forever partner… so many boxes to tick..<br /><br />If you’re restless and not ticking those boxes you’ll know it’s time to move on .. the worst thing is to stay in a lost relationship.Jim Dawsneyhttps://www.quora.com/profile/Jim-Dawsney?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9050242060591934043.post-38081037236238267262020-09-29T20:38:47.032+00:002020-09-29T20:38:47.032+00:00As soon as you see that someone doesn’t respect yo...As soon as you see that someone doesn’t respect you. Or as soon as you see that a person doesn’t love you. Or as soon as you feel you don’t love a person anymore. Or when his/ her behavior doesn’t go well with your values. Or at any time when you feel that you want to leave. You don’t own anything to anybody unless you have kids or are married. Then rules are slightly different.Nataliya Kuzhylinahttps://www.quora.com/profile/Nataliya-Kuzhylina?__nsrc__=4noreply@blogger.com