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What my pastor said in church on Sunday: dressing and demeanor?

I was in church on Sunday and my pastor spoke a little about the mode of dressing for ladies, this cannot be overemphasized, your mode of dressing really matters, like he said you can not give what you don't have. Rape is very common in our society today, and a lot of ladies are careless about this.

I am very sure that you are aware of the Amber Rose slutwalk which is helping ladies speak out and fight for themselves about the rape culture, but I do not totally agree with the walk, simply because this world is full of evil people who will always have the lust of the flesh and we should also learn to  play our role by protecting ourselves in every way which also includes our mode of dressing. The walk is very educative but should also teach and promote decency. Don't get me wrong there is never an excuse for rape. My pastor stated that ladies complain and say it doesn't matter what you wear, in a way you are right but why not do your part when it comes to dressing.

It's painful to accept, but our mood of dressing attract a certain kind of people to us. Every type of dressing represents something. A police officer has a uniform and a striper also dresses in a certain type of way. The way you dress to the office is different from the way you dress to bed. This totally shows that our dressing says a lot about us, represents our outward look and can attract a certain kind of people, energy or favor to us. It is the same thing as where we go, it can also depend on the kind of people we meet. 

Ladies, never be deceived you are responsible for yourself, do your part when it comes to dressing, this can be a factor, nevertheless this never gives anyone the right to intrude into your body. Remember if you get raped, your health, future and mental state might never remain the same. You are responsible for yourself and do what it takes to protect yourself in your own little way.

Can a woman be raped based on her dressing and demeanor? In other words: Is there a possibility that a woman’s dressing or demeanor could lead to her being raped? The answer to this question is yes. But then again I ask: Should a woman be raped because of her dressing and demeanor? In other words: Is it desirable that a woman be raped because of her dressing and demeanor? The answer to this question is NO. There is no justification for rape. No matter what a woman wears or does or does not do, when she says NO it means NO, not maybe, not try harder. It means STOP. This first puts the responsibility of knowledge on every woman. There is a lot that can be said about our mode of dressing both spiritually and physically. What's your opinion on female dressing in relation to rape, factor or not?.
ref: https://anabagail.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/research-on-the-relationship-between-rape-and-dressing/ for more.
Photo by Nicholas Githiri from Pexels.

27 comments

  1. You have a point. I saw a lot of naked women in anti-rape walks and I'm not sure that it sends the right message. What do we prove by walking around naked? Isn't it indecent exposure and against the law?

    I agree that we should never blame the victim, because the victim is never guilty. There are people who are rapists, just like there are people who are murders and sadists. Old ladies in conservatives attires also get raped so it's not about how we look. At the same time, we need to understand that what we wear does send a message. Showing too much skin can be offensive to some people. We can always wear what we want at home, but when it public we need to respect certain restrictions.

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    1. This information is very hard for some ladies to follow. I have had arguments with a friend trying to pass this information to her, I think its clear that what we wear can be a factor but never makes rape right. Amber rose has a point but people going naked on the street is not right is not a way to prevent rape, the mind work natural by what is see sometimes, not everyone can control it, so since we are all different we should protect ourselves.

      Delete
  2. yes, there's a chance!

    http://www.thequinoxfashion.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for sharing in my view Gail.

      Delete
  3. So interesting, dear!
    xx
    Mónica Sors
    MES VOYAGES À PARIS
    NEW POST: PINK CORDUROY

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's really refreshing reading this on here and I couldn't agree more. While the way a woman dresses is no justification for abuse, we need to dress the way we want to be addressed always.

    Princess Audu

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    1. What you said should be understood by a lot of ladies, which is the main problem. Our dressing says alot about us and will always do.

      Delete
  5. This is a very important question (and message) dear, but not so easy to solve...
    I mean, if we all start to think to wear in a certain way just to avoid abuses and addresses, I fear we'll end up all in burqas (and worse) in no time; on the other side a girl should still pay attention for herself.
    But following fear is never the answer. The only solution for me is firstly culture and that every mother should theach at her son the respect for every human being (and animal) on Earth, and on the other side, even girls should learn to stand for herself, phisically and mentally.
    A strong mind and body is an hard enemy for those who are easy to this kind of beahviours!
    (hope you can understand through my poor english^^)
    XO
    S
    https://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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    1. No one said it is easy to solve, but at the same time you need to do what is right.Let's not even relate it to rape, is going naked right generally or dressing in a provocative way? Everyone both a man and woman can be raped and needs to pay attention to dressing also. Your words as regards to this (The only solution "(one of the solutions instead)" is culture and that every mother should teach her son to respect every human being on Earth, and on the other side, even girls should learn to stand for herself, physically and mentally. Nevertheless our dressing can influence rape but the act can never be justified.

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  6. I think perhaps this is used as a justification for rape rather than it being an actual reason. A rapist can easily find a girl who is dressed conservatively just as attractive as one who is not.

    Kathrin | Polar Bear Style

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    1. You are not far from the truth, and to an extent we are saying the same thing, but my point is our dressing can influence it. I am not saying if a lady doesn't dress well and gets rape the act should be justified, NO. All I am trying to point out is that different factors can influence this action and we should do our part no matter how small or insignificant it is to protect ourselves.

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  7. Read it all, and I really agreed, that our dressing says a lot about us, for me it makes a personal branding to ourselves in front of people <3 But in 'raping' case, I guess girls couldn't be judged wrongly, because if she could keep herself safely, dress properly in any occassions, dare to say no, or something similar that reject raping indication, she is completely not wrong :)

    Nice sharing,love,
    www.milkamelia.blogspot.com

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    1. Milka you are right saying that our dressing says a lot about us. No one should be judged wrongly for rape, but our dressing can provoke it and I will hold on to this point because it is very important to do the right thing. Does it matter how many locks you put in your house, if thieves are planning to steal from you, they are very aware and plan on how to unlock the door, but at the same time you still put this lock for protection, to make it a little harder for them to go through, tho this might not be the best illustration but one thing is sure, a ladies dressing can influence rape, that being said, every rapist should be punished according to the law and never be justified.

      Delete
  8. This is such an interesting topic to discuss. Personally, I feel as though if someone is going to commit such a terrible act, how a woman dresses is unlikely to push him one way or another - that horrible thought is already there in his soul. On a completely different note haha, I love the sunset image in this post; beautiful!

    aglassofice.com x

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    1. Gab, you are right, but you used the word unlikely, meaning at the other side, there are possibilities that it can be influenced by a dressing pattern. Even if it might very low percentage.

      Delete
  9. This is a very interesting question. In my opinion, dressing has absolutely nothing to do with rape. A rapist will rape no matter what the victim is wearing. I know women who dress very modestly, or the ones who take the headscarf (hijab), or even the ones who cover themselves completely (burka), that have been subjected to sexual assault and rape. There's nothing provocative about their dressing and yet they get raped. Therefore, in my opinion, your dressing has nothing to do with rape.

    https://lifewithmins.blogspot.com/

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  10. Good question Melody.
    I think that clothing can never be "complicit" or even partially guilty of rape.
    Take a look on my blog Eniwhere Fashion : I have a new post !!! Have a nice day, kisses from Italy,
    Eni

    Outfit animalier

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  11. What a beautiful post and I am so agreed with you
    Bisous

    http://www.gallech.com/

    ReplyDelete
  12. No matter what the victim is wearing. The clothes is not the reason for the rape, but some people want to blame the victim and their clothes.
    Have a nice day.

    galerafashion.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. rape should be punished and can never be justified, but dressing can influence it.

      Delete

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